Im 18years old and hate myself and my
life.
Im just a misrible person.
I cant handle my emotions, and I cry about
everything. The small things that go
wrong in life that most people dont worry
about, I seem to break down. My bf thinks
im syhco, because I break things and hurt
myself. He cant understand me, and I cant
understand myself either.
I have a great familly that would do
anything for me and my bf is the best
thing that has every happened to me. But
I wake up in the morning and cry because I
hate myself. I hate the way I look and
hate my personality. I dont even know
what my personlaity is like. Ive tried to
be like other people for so long I dont
know who I am.
I no longer have a social life or any
friends, because I know I will break down
in front of them.
I dont want to cry anymore. I want to
enjoy my life. And be the happy person I
was a few years ago. Should I take meds?
|
Dericksmom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 2 Location: upstate ny
Hang In There Posted: 02-03-04 23:06pm
Hi, I know what you're talking about. I
too have a very supportive family but
nothing they said or did helped. I'll be
totally honest here, I thought many times
about taking my life. I woke up crying
and when I actually slept it was only
after crying myself to sleep. Finally I
fell apart during a doctors appointment
and opened up to the doc and she put me on
zoloft. I can't bebieve the difference.
You're not psycho or crazy! It could very
well be a chemical imbalance in your
brain! I thought I was going nuts too.
All I ever did was cry and I hated myself.
Now I feel so much better and very rarely
do I cry anymore. Sure life has it's
downers, but they're a lot easier to
handle now. Please, get some help. It's
worth it. Good luck!
|
kase
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 21
Thanks Posted: 02-04-04 01:06am
Its good to know someone understands. I
just came back from the doctors and got
efexor (anitidepressants) but I dont think
I will take them because of the weight
gain. That will just make me more
depressed.
|
KittyKat
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Nov 2003 Posts: 39
Posted: 02-04-04 12:50pm
Kase: please, please, please talk to your
doctor again. That was one of my biggest
concerns. I told her I would not take
any medication that would aid in my weight
gain. There are other medications out
there that are ok, one of them is
wellbutrin. I have been taking that with
prozac and haven't gained anything. The
med's can really help you feel better.
Almost everyone will tell you that the
med's & therapy go hand-in-hand. If
you can, please seek a therapist as well.
|
SweetCheeki17
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2004 Posts: 268 Location: new york
Hey Posted: 02-04-04 13:11pm
Hello,
I think that you should talk to some
counselor too. Some people get depressed
for no personal reason. It just the
hormones that isn't balanced right so they
give them anti-depressant to level it up
with your daily routine. Anyway... Im 17
and I get that way too but only during
winter because its not fun and its boring
season. Um theres alot of reason for me
to be depress but its not that severe. If
you try talking to your boyfriend and your
family and maybe they will help you out
too.
I dont have that much to say but say I
hope I helped.
You can always talk to me online too.
Send me a message and I will send back
with a nice/great replies.
|
qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Posted: 02-06-04 14:07pm
Hi kase,
if you need to take meds, then take them
but I urge you to look into cbt which will
teach you tools to help yourself while you
are taking them. I was on meds and it was
not until I learned the tools taught in
cbt that I was able to get off of them and
feel great too. Good luck :d
q
|
StarLynn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 29 Location: Ohio
Hey Posted: 02-06-04 14:49pm
kase
wrote:
its good to know someone
understands. I just came back from the
doctors and got efexor (anitidepressants)
but I dont think I will take them because
of the weight gain. That will just make
me more
depressed.
i've been on efexor for almost 2 years and
I have not gained a pound. It worked well
for me, but if you miss days at a time it
makes you feel weird and you have to have
it to feel normal does that make sense. I
stopped crying over everything it made me
feel almost normal again..L
|
MasonsMommy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2004 Posts: 5 Location: Bend,Oregon
Posted: 02-06-04 16:27pm
Have at least thought of trying an herbal
like st. Johns wart, I think is what is
supposed to work for that. I know a lot
of people who went through much of the
same at your age. You definitely should
speak with a Dr. But one you can trust,
not one who decides after a single session
that you need to be on mood altering
meds.
Seems like a hasty decision, not
necessarily a wrong one, but kind of fast
to tell I would think.....
|
kase
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 21
Posted: 02-08-04 06:52am
What is cbt?
Thanks everyone for your advice.
Im glad the meds arnt weight gaining. I
started taking them yesterday and go to
theropist on tuesday. Im hoping
everything is going to get better, im just
trying to look positive (but its so hard!)
still crying a lot, but have been
journaling when im upset rather than
hurting myself. Sometime3s I read over
what I have writen and it makes me more
upset, so I just write and draw and then
put my journal away.
|
crazydazy769
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 7
I Know How You Feel Kase Posted: 02-09-04 01:11am
Im the same way you are. I gat mad over
simple stuff and when I always cry. Im 17
and im misserable too. I understand what
u r going threw. So just know that u r
not alone.
|
sephiroth777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Feb 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Australia
What Is Cbt? Posted: 02-15-04 22:39pm
Cbt (i think this is what you were asking
about) is "cognitive behavioural therapy"
which is a fancy way of saying that it
teaches you to have a more optimistic view
on the world.
I have been depressed for many years and
been on various medications. When cbt was
suggested I thought it was crap and that
trying to convince myself everything was
great was to live a lie, but after doing 8
weeks of cbt I learnt that there is good
and bad in life (simple but true) and not
to let the weight of the world crush us.
It is a way to setup an automatic
response, like you already have now,
except that it will be an optimistic
response! An automatic way to deal with
the pain of self-doubt, self-hatred and
criticism and replace them with possitive
and uplifting thoughts.
Talk to your doctor, counsellor, mental
health professional about cbt. Maybe it
can be of help for you also.
Please remember, that even if you feel
alone, there are always people who care
about you, you just have to let them know
you need them.
|
2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 02-16-04 04:48am
Hello sweetheart, I feel you. I have
been depressed for as long as I can
remember. And I am not exaggerating.
It is a terrible thing. A friend of mine
told her (she has bipolar) that "when a
person is born bipolar, they ought to be
put out of their misery". He was
obviously not suggesting that they be
killed or kill themselves, he was simply
stating the severity of it in his own
words. I have been on prozac, depacode
(spelling?) lithium, paxil and now zoloft.
This is over many years. When I was a
rebellious teen they put me on the first
three. The paxil I went on myself for
anxiety attacks, but could not take the
side affects. Zoloft works great for my
depression but does not tackle my anxiety
attacks to the level that I need. But I
hate trying new meds because they alter
your whole way of thinking and I do not
want to get a bad one. Anyway, having a
supportive family and bf is great. Talk
to them. No matter how psycho you feel
or think you sound, they love you and are
there for you. Depression is an illness.
So many people do not see that. They
have not proven the whole "chemical
imbalance" thing, but by god I believe it.
Try to get a med that has low side
effects and no weight gain, because, yes,
that would only make you feel worse. If
you ever need someone to talk to about
anything, email me at
powdered_sugar1@hotmail.Com. I check
my email daily and can hopefully help you.
Good luck dear.
|
2bluechic
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2003 Posts: 13 Location: st cloud, minnesota
Depression Posted: 02-17-04 20:32pm
I know how you feel, and then some. I am
so depressed I cant take it no more. Been
on 6 different antidepressants in the past
2 years. I quit the job I loved. I have
no hope. I have no goals, no desires.
What can I possibly do, besides the
obvious ???????
|
Karl R Powell
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Oct 2003 Posts: 30 Location: Phoenix Arizona
to a Lost Miserable Girl Posted: 02-18-04 05:29am
I know what it is to not know who you are
and what your even alive for? I used to
think if there was a god he must have made
me his "piss pot" because thats how I felt
like the world was just pissing all over
me!!! From a small child --- I did have
some good reason for these thoughts , I
wont go into my childhood its to long and
sad//// but one day when I reached a very
low period and i'd already tried suicide
twice, well I just asked god if your real
show yourself I really want to know you
and then I asked him to show me who he saw
me as and who he wanted me to be. Mind
you these request did not all come at
once, but he has answered each one. And
gave me more of life not with out pain, I
am still only human and I even get
depressed but, when I give it to god it is
his and he can handle it , and he does.
I will lift your
name in prayer to the lord jesus and in
his name I ask you to deliver these who
suffer here and call on your name, jesus
for in your name we have victory and peace
amen lily
|
qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Posted: 02-19-04 01:33am
kase
wrote:
what is cbt?
Thanks everyone for your advice.
Im glad the meds arnt weight gaining. I
started taking them yesterday and go to
theropist on tuesday. Im hoping
everything is going to get better, im just
trying to look positive (but its so hard!)
still crying a lot, but have been
journaling when im upset rather than
hurting myself. Sometime3s I read over
what I have writen and it makes me more
upset, so I just write and draw and then
put my journal
away.
hi kase,
it looks like sepiroth already gave you an
answer on cbt and I agree with all sep
said but will give you my slant on it as
well. I was busy seeking help and taking
meds for years before I accidentally
discovered cbt. Cbt is not like other
talk therapy. A good cbt therapist knows
they cannot change what's already happened
to you but they can help you change how
you deal with what happens in your life
from here on out. In short they teach you
tools to keep you from upsetting yourself
and it is very effective if you put in the
effort to practice the tools which teach
you to learn to think more clearly and
accurately about things and once you do
your anxiety and depression will
miraculously begin to lift before your
eyes. It has changed my life for the
better at a time I was close to giving up.
My favorite starter book on cbt is "been
there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz
and many universities offer cbt programs
for little or no charge if you're
interested in giving cbt a try.
Take care!
Q
|
~*~Bree~*~Bree~*~
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Sep 2003 Posts: 48 Location: minnesota
I Am Sooo In the Same Ball Park As You Sweety! Posted: 03-02-04 19:01pm
Beleive me! I am the best person to talk
to! I know so much and have gone so far!
I know what its like to be in your shoes
and right now im afraid your at the worst
part of it! And being in a relationship
im sure isint going to help necause right
now you really cant and shouldnt take the
judging of other people, it just brings
your down even more!
I Cant Control This Nasty Person That Comes Into Me Posted: 03-21-04 22:22pm
Thankyou so much guys. I havent been here
for a while because I thought that I didnt
need anyone help because I could do it
myself.... Trying to convince myself I am
a strong person. I went off my
antidepressants 3wks ago because I didnt
want to be relient on them and now my
whole family think im suicidal.
Things are just as bad as always, last
nite I took 12 panadols just to see what
might happen... And maybe to get some
attention. I also drank so much because I
was stressed- and im not a drinker. I
lost my licence last nite- drink driving
on the way to buy some more panadol. The
worse thing is I cant remeber hardly any
of it- and when I think of it, I don think
it happend. I think to myself, "i would
never do that! That isnt me." I feel like
there are two personalitys in me and all
it takes is for one thing to go wrong to
change who I am.
The hospital rang my parents last nite to
pick me up. My parents think im suicidal
and they make me feel guilty for
disapionting them but they're gr8 parents
who care so mcuh about me. And I have
disapionted them... I disapionted my bf
and myself. I hate myself for the way I
act. It feels like this nasty woman just
comes out of me and I have no control over
it at all. Im so stressed and so
misrible. Im going to try some other
antidepressants tomorrow, but just wish I
could be normal... I wish I could be
sain. I wish I liked myself.
|
Haley
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2004 Posts: 122
Posted: 03-23-04 11:10am
I have to agree with qt3, you owe it to
yourself to give cbt a try. I'm in the
ninth week of my cbt group and weaning off
drugs and feeling great. The two books we
are using in my group are really good and
I would recommend them both highly: been
there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz
and mastery of your anxiety and
panic-third edition by michelle craske and
david barlow if you suffer panic disorder
as well.
|
Spoike
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 22 Location: u.k
Posted: 03-24-04 03:27am
Hey. Ummm I understand how you feel. A
few years ago I was depressed. Nothing
my family said or did helped even though I
know they were doing their best to make me
feel better. All my friendships
deteriorated and I absoloutely hated
myself.
After a suicide attempt I was sent to a
councellor and to be honest - it didn't
help me. I felt too uncomfortable to
open my mind to her. I got better by
concentrating my mind on other things -
for example my work. I also started a
diary and believe it or not it actually
helped me alot. When I got really
depressed I wrote in it and when I read it
at a later point i'd realise how stupid
i'm being and that I should try to pull
myself together. It helps you to put
things into perspective in my opinion
i'm still not fully recovered from my
depression and I know exactly what it
feels like to hate yourself and for others
to not understand. I harm myself when I
get upset (which also tends to be over
small things) and my boyfriend doesn't
really understand. I'll tell him i've
done it and then he'll say 'promise not to
do it again.....'. But teh thing is that
I can't promise because it isn't something
I can control. My family doesn't help
either because my brother uses it against
me and says stuff like 'whats wrong with
you? You cut yourself....That's not
normal jenny' and then my mum says stuff
like 'those scars will be there for the
rest of your life you know'.
I feel like I have two sides too sometimes
- there's the happy clappy strong me which
I have to show in order to keep people
quiet and not harass me about the
un-understandable and then there's the
emotional weak me.
You are sane. I don't know if
anti-depressants will help you, they
didn't help me. But it's worth trying,
and this feeling won't last forever =)
i hope i've helped somehow....I think
maybe I got a little off topic but you
should know that other people understand
how you feel and it won't last forever.
|
brutallyhonest
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2004 Posts: 25
Posted: 03-24-04 05:05am
Hi kase
i'm 19 years old and believe me I know
what your going through somedays I just
want to sit and cry for no reason at all
i've been depressed for as long as I can
remember. I have a great life but i'mjust
not happy. I know what its like to be sad
all the time and exactly what your going
through and if you want some to talk to pm
me and i'll gladly be that someone.
