Hi there
i've posted before on the bi-polar forum
here, but thought this one might be more
appropriate. I was seeing someone with
bi-polar and we broke up at the end of
july. I went travelling for a month.
When I came back we still kept seeing each
other. Then at the end of october he
tells me its clear to him that we are
definitely just friends now. I felt
confused because he kept contacting me and
we'd meet and he'd be really sweet and
affectionate (we didnt sleep together,
although we did other things). Then we
met up again and I said ok, let's be
friends, but do it properly ie no cuddling
etc. He says that'll be difficult because
he still fancies me. I said that we
should try. He calls me a few days later
to go to the cinema. I go, we have a
lovely evening and its clear he wants
something more but I said I have to go
home. I haven't seen him since. I asked
him to meet for a coffee on a sunday by
text, and he said to make it dinner. He
then texts to cancel later. He sends me
sweet texts when he is at his work xmas
party (probably a bit drunk). He rang me
to wish me a good xmas and new year and
said we'll meet up soon. He just doesnt
know what he wants and it's doing my head
in. It's impossible to say how much is
due to the bi-polar or what. The reason I
am posting this here is because the long
and the short of it, is he dosnt want to
be with me. He has told me he is not in
love with me. He has said he doesnt want
to waste my time and that I should be with
someone who wants something long term. I
know I should just move on from this but I
cant. I keep trying to find an
explanation but I cant. I keep thinking
what is wrong with me that he doesnt want
to be with me. I know this sounds all
quite pathetic and self pitying but I
really want to move on and need some help
to do it. This is the first time I think
I have been in love and the first time
that I have been vulnerable in front of
any man. I am a virgin and really wanted
to be with him because I cared for him a
lot. We had difficulties with penetration
and I know the reason is because I didnt
feel he loved me and didnt want my first
time to be like that. I'm afraid that I
am not sexy because I am not experienced.
This sounds so ridiculous and I hate to be
feeling like this on new years day. I
have to move on. Please help. Any words
of advice would be great. My friends are
getting fed up of me going on about this,
and so am i.
Many thanks
xxxxxxxxxx
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littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Posted: 01-14-07 01:10am
First of all if your young save yourself
until you know it is right. If he was not
going that far than he deffinantly has
respect for you which is a good quality in
a man, difficult to find that these days,
can be done, but for the most part its
hard to. If he has been honest with you
about not being in love with you then the
hardest advice that I have to give and for
you to do is to move on. It sounds as if
he is trying to blow you off. It is never
easy to lose someone you care about no
matter if it is a friendship or
relationship but you need to lift your
chin up go out with your friends and start
over again. You will find your match and
you never know if he sees that you are
moving on it may pull him back to you then
his true feelings may surface for you.
Like the stupid quote says "if you let
someone go and they come back then you
know it is true." anyways good luck to you
and everything will be fine enjoy life
while you still have the ability to.
Because once you settle down the fun
starts to fade away becasue you become
comfortable in jsut being with the one you
love. So enjoy pursueing that true
happiness now.
