Having a Hard Time... Please Advice Posted: 01-06-07 03:28am
I am not sure why I am posting on this
site… I think I just need some advice
from people who have gone through the same
thing…
i have never been one to put myself first
and I have never wanted to hurt anyone’s
feelings… I have for the past 2 months
really been thinking about me future and
what I want… I have been with my fiancé
for 6 years and I am not sure if I should
marry him… I do love him but I feel like
if I choose to marry him I will be
sacrificing myself and will end up hurt in
the future. I have been in denial for
some time now… as an outsider please
advice… my fiancé has a son and has
cheated on me with his child’s mother
about three years ago… this is something
that I can’t seem to forgive or
forget… and because of it I do not trust
him… he is pursuing a career in music
and has been away for 6 months now and I
have to just not think about what he is
doing day to day. I have always wanted to
have children and since the beginning my
fiancé has changed his mind about it 100
times. I had enough called it off about 4
months ago but he convinced me that I will
get my family someday… in a conversation
a few weeks ago he could not give me any
sort of time line on when we will get
married and start a family. I have been
really digging deep to see if I want him
to be the father of my children… I have
a really strong feeling that he does not
really want to have more children and that
he will prolong it until it’s too late.
I really want my husband to want a family
as much as I do. If I was guaranteed that
breaking up with him would not hurt him I
would do it in a second… and now
realizing that he will never break up with
me it’s all on me… I am having a hard
time figuring out what to do and it really
hurts that he has no idea something’s
wrong…
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 01-07-07 09:05am
Just ask yourself................And be
honest.......................Does this
person make you happy?Does your heart sing
with joy whenever you think about
him?...............................Or are
you reduced to tears?..............Because
of past/present
hurts.....................Cause he always
leaves you guessing as to where you stand
in the
relationship?.............................
...
.......................I think you know
the
answer.................................Rel
ationships are about growing together and
having
fun...............................Not
emotional beating the cr*p out of each
other
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 01-07-07 09:12am
Spirit, you need to stop typing like
............ It's really hard to read.
Anyhoo, sounds to me like you don't really
want to marry him. If you're having all
these doubts and trust issue then it is
really not the best way to start out a
marriage. After 6 yrs and still no
wedding i'd say he doesn't really want to
marry you either. I'd be questioniong it
too. There was a "dr. Phil show" on
this the other day, check his site and see
if you can watch the back episodes or
soemthing. It was thursday I think.
