My girlfriend of nearly two years broke up
with me almost 3 months ago. Our
relationship had been perfect in our eyes
up until college started for the both of
us. We each took our separate paths and
I suppose she just fell outta love with me
and in love with college. She told me
she no longer wanted to have a boyfriend
and just wanted to live for herself and
friends for now. Of course, this
shattered me. She was so obsessed with
me all the way up until she gained all
these new friends whereas I was still in
love with her as much as ever before.
She even went on to find a new boyfriend
and is now "in love" again. This just
rips my heart apart and i'm so confused.
I thought she dumped me because she didn't
want the commitment, and suddenly she's
with someone else! This would be much
easier if I didn't live so close to her
college and have to drive near it every
day to get to work. We live in a small
town so it just kills me to know she's
doing everything she used to do with me
with her new boyfriend not even a mile
from my house. How do I cope with this
and just finally stop loving her? I'm
also afraid of how difficult it will be
for me to find someone else. I have zero
confidence after all of this. She claims
she's so much more in love now than she
ever was with me. It's like she tells me
these things just to make it even more
difficult.
I'm so sorry! Breaking up is hard to do.
Right now, you are in so much pain it
won't really matter what anyone else says.
But just know that it will get easier.
You go through things in life to help you
grow and learn, and it will make you a
stronger person.
Good luck hun!
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Re: Still Haven't Moved On Posted: 01-19-07 12:45pm
rhcp
wrote:
my girlfriend of nearly two
years broke up with me almost 3 months
ago. Our relationship had been perfect
in our eyes up until college started for
the both of us. We each took our
separate paths and I suppose she just fell
outta love with me and in love with
college. She told me she no longer
wanted to have a boyfriend and just wanted
to live for herself and friends for now.
Of course, this shattered me. She was
so obsessed with me all the way up until
she gained all these new friends whereas I
was still in love with her as much as ever
before. She even went on to find a new
boyfriend and is now "in love" again.
This just rips my heart apart and i'm so
confused. I thought she dumped me
because she didn't want the commitment,
and suddenly she's with someone else!
This would be much easier if I didn't live
so close to her college and have to drive
near it every day to get to work. We
live in a small town so it just kills me
to know she's doing everything she used to
do with me with her new boyfriend not even
a mile from my house. How do I cope
with this and just finally stop loving
her? I'm also afraid of how difficult
it will be for me to find someone else.
I have zero confidence after all of this.
She claims she's so much more in love
now than she ever was with me. It's
like she tells me these things just to
make it even more
difficult.
are you still talking to her and she told
you she loves you *after* she broke up
with you, and started dating someone
else?? Bs..!
I know it's hard right now. It will get
better- this pain will go away,
unfortunately time is the best thing.
You can make that go faster, by picking up
a hobby, starting a new class- like kick
boxing, or fishing.
It will help- and before you know it-
things will be better. There are so many
people you haven't met yet..
-=red=-
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 01-26-07 16:13pm
Hey there rhcp. Hope your doing better.
I know its been awhile since your
original post but I just wanted to give my
thoughts. The best thing you can
possible to do get over this girl and the
relatinship as a whole (which is what you
need to do considering shes already moved
on) is isolate yourself from her, her
belongings and everything. All physical
things will bring up old memories...So
nothing physical of hers with you. Pac
all the stuff you had together in a box
and lock it away somewhere. Do not talk
to her. Let her live her life with her
new boyfriend and you can start yours..I
know its hard man.
Another thing is this happens more than
you think. Going away to college changes
everyone period. I had to break off a
relationship that was going strong for 2.5
years becuase of college. She was
younger than me and deeply in love with
me...But I knew I didnt want to put either
of us though that whole mess. When
someoen goes away to college they meet new
people, are in a new invorment and learn
about "new" things. Its best to make
that journy out of a relationship becuase
it will only bring drama. Best of luck
Just wanted to add that i'm having the
same problem at the moment, and that I
also lost all confidence since then. The
gf told me that nothing is my fault, I was
great etc. But then I feel like if i'm
punished for no reason.
I'm ignoring her. She's always telling me
"but you are still my favorite don't
worry" but I had to say no. I can't
pretend that i'm not hurt. She says she
doesn't understand why we can't be friends
but I told her that it's easy for her to
say that since she doesn't love me no
more, while I do.
I don't know if she really meant that I
was still her favorite, but I don't want
her to keep me as an emercengy exit in
case her actual bf would let her down.
Moreover, she chose to break up a
relationship because of her feelings, well
then it is my right to choose to ignore
her to spare mine.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-04-07 16:16pm
You guys gota realize that our significat
other isint everything, you are first.
What makes you healthy and happy is what
you need...If its that person and you make
that other person happy and healthy thats
what a relationship should be.
Of course you have to compromise...But not
2 the point where it really hurts one
another.
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Shadowless
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 24 Location: AZ
Posted: 02-04-07 18:08pm
I know the feeling, today about 4 hours
ago I got the word that I was being
dumped. The basic reason was she still
had feelings for her ex and was no longer
in love with me. I'm still in shock.
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 02-05-07 13:03pm
One quick note i'd like to add here, it's
not your fault, people do crap like this,
men and women, and it's rarely ever about
the partner who's hurt in the
relationship...It's about the one who's
ending it, their issues...Actually they're
probably doing you a huge favor, getting
themselves out of your life before you
married/had kids, and then found out you
were with a loser!
All my best...Just remember, time heals
all wounds.
