Sex Without Birth Control - Am I Being Irrational? Posted: 01-14-07 12:21pm
Recently my girlfriend and I were having
sex. The condom broke. I didn't tell
her right away (as it was like 4 or 5am).
But I did tell her at like 9:30 or
10:00am. At this time the planned
parenthood centers were open. We used
spermicidal condom and not all the
ejaculate stayed inside, ad she took the
"morning after pill" within 10 hours or so
of the initial incident. Then about 12
hours later the second one. So as far
as pregnancy goes, I am not too scared
about that. My question goes a little
deeper.
I have been going out with this girl for a
solid 2 months. We spend tons of time
together and it's always good times. I
do love her as I feel closer to her then I
have any other girl in recent history.
We talk openly about everything...Or so I
thought.
Anyhow, this condom breaking issue brought
up a very important subject; birth
control. She said at one point that 1)
the women in her family are super fertile
and 2) that she doesn't use birth control.
I briefly asked her why not, and she
said, "because it doesn't work". For
me, this is both kinda scary and a little
frustrating. She even admitted that in
the past some of her boyfriends (who
according to her were incapable of
producing babies) didn't use condoms...Yet
another uh-oh.
I know I am clean. She says she is
clean too. What bothers me the most is
the fact she doesn't use any sort of brith
control. I love having sex with her but
can't / won't unless she does. It is 1)
too risky to only rely on a condom and 2)
gets real expensive if you have to take
the map every time a condom breaks. I
am going to have a talk with her about
this. While I do love her, I can't be
in a relationship where the only thing
standing between us and children (at a
young age 23 for her and 26 for me) is a
piece of rubber.
Am I being irrational here? I don't
wanna lose her, but if she doesn't take
some form of birth control we would have
to either 1) wait until marriage...If we
ever do or 2) find another partner. I
don't know really. I always said that
both partners are responsible in their own
ways. For me, it is too risky and too
much reponsibility if she isn't "doing her
part". What other forms of birth
control other then the pill could she look
into? Am I making sense?
|
laurxoxo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 7 Location: california
Posted: 02-25-07 03:00am
NO way you are not being irrational.
Your girlfriend needs to get on birth
control. By her saying that it doesnt work
she is obviously uneducated about it.
|
dansm
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-05-07 23:36pm
This is only my opinion and experience but
I think you are either using the wrong
condoms or using them incorrectly. For me
I only use 1 brand as they have the
correct size for me and Ive never had one
break before. Maybe it will happen
sometime but once in 2 or 3 years is not
so bad. Most women don't want to use the
pill because it can make them gain weight,
if she says it doesn't work for her then
shes lying.
Its up to you and her but theres no reason
you can't keep seeing her just because she
only uses a condom. As far as I know thats
standard practice.
|
littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 296 Location: Caldwell, Idaho
Posted: 03-05-07 23:50pm
I don't think your being irrational but if
she was to get on some kind of BC you
should still protect yourself with a
condom. Her saying that it does not work
for her is a lie. If she has not gotten
pregnant then how is it not working for
her. Has she been pregnant on BC or
something? Anyways be honest with her. A 2
month relationship is not long enough to
commit to a child for the rest of your
life you don't even know after 2 months if
the two of you are going to commit to
eachother for the rest of your lives. Be
honest and good luck.
|
gobucks21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 49
Posted: 03-29-07 14:24pm
oh, I just want to hug you! haha. More
power to you for wanting to be responsible
with this issue!
Being in your position before, I highly
recommend using more than just a condom.
It is far too frequent that they sometimes
break and when they are the only form of
birth control that you are using, the
situation can become pretty scary.
From a female's, and recent med student's,
perspective, there are many many other
forms of birth control that can be more
reliable and easier to use than birth
control pills. It is actually medically
recommended to use at least two forms of
bc. I personally used condoms and depo
provera injections until my partner and I
felt able to deal with the consequences of
only using one.
I, of course, do not know your
girlfriend's, nor your opinions,
concerning the specific types and usages
of birth control, but I strongly encourage
you to look into your options. Physically
and medically speaking, I can not think of
a way that your girlfriend, you, and a
health care professional could not devise
a birth control plan. Obviously,
everyone's body is slightly different from
the next, but with so many options there
IS a match.
Lastly, I know I may be stepping way out
of line and I apologize. However, I have
always had the opinion that if you have
made the decision to be mature enough to
have a sexual relationship then you should
logically be mature enough to be
responsible about your, and your
partner's, health and safety.
Unfortunately, far far too many people
apparently do not agree. I completely
congratulate you on wanting to be
responsible. There needs to be more people
like you out there. Good Luck!
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