Last edited by Zanny on 01-16-07 19:04pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mabel
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8956 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 179
Thanked:198
Re: Me And Jenny... Posted: 01-16-07 18:47pm
zanyzanny
wrote:
no this isn't yet another
picture post.. This is actually pretty
serious. Well to me it is, to other
people it doesn't seem to be.
Jenny's really started smiling recently,
and not just at nothing, or because of
wind.. Actual proper responsive smiles.
She's done it for a couple of weeks,
and in the past few days it's become more
frequent. Only she's never done it at
me. My sister came to stay last night
and as soon as she picked .Jenny up and
started talking and singing to her, she
got the biggest grin ever. Whenever my
brother picks her up and talks to her,
again, he gets a big grin. My mum gets
smiles, my dad gets smiles, my grandma..
Well you get the idea. Everyone,
except me.
This might seem like a stupid thing to get
upset over, but i'm already being
neglected by the guy who's supposed to
love me.. And now it feels like my own
daughter's doing it too. I know she's
only 8 weeks old and she's only just
started smiling properly, but i'm the one
who spends the most time with her.. And
yet she never even seems to want to look
at me.
I sing her the special songs i've sung to
her ever since she was in my tummy and get
no response. As soon as my sister does
it she's absolutely transfixed. I
thought my voice would be the one she'd
react to most, and yet even when I talk to
her she looks away and stares at nothing
instead.
Am I being stupid or does it sound like
she's not bonding with me?
I feel so unloved
babies don't relate 'bonding' with smiling
at this age. Bonding is something
entirely different. She is an infant and
what you perceive as 'happiness' - or how
smiling would be to you - it isn't the
same for an infant.
It doesn't sound silly that you say it.
It sounds real. She probably picks up on
your mood recently (ie, feeling fat,
feeling unloved) and your energy isn't the
most 'fun' to be around, i'm sure. Relax.
Be gentle on yourself, you have only been
doing this mom thing for 8 weeks. It gets
easier and harder as time goes on.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8535 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 217
Thanked:15
Posted: 01-16-07 18:54pm
She's probably the most comfortable around
you, and completely used to you already.
Your voice is probably more soothing,
whereas someone else's voice is new and
more "ooh!" to her, if that makes any
sense. One day it'll occur to her that
.Mommy is funny and she'll decide
that she only wants you to
sing her special song, because no one else
does it right. She'll only want you to
fix her afternoon snack, she'll run to
you
for kisses when she falls and scrapes her
knee, and will want you
reading her bedtime stories because you do
the voices just the way she likes them.
I'm going through the same thing with
.Alyvia and her father. She tolerates
things with him that she won't with me.
But she won't let him put her to bed -
only .Mommy will do. So I take some
comfort from that, and try to remind
myself that at the end of the day, she
only has one mommy and she knows that.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 01-17-07 07:58am
ayamiyaki
wrote:
she's probably the most
comfortable around you, and completely
used to you already. Your voice is
probably more soothing, whereas someone
else's voice is new and more "ooh!" to
her, if that makes any sense. One day
it'll occur to her that .Mommy is funny
and she'll decide
that she only wants you to
sing her special song, because no one else
does it right. She'll only want you to
fix her afternoon snack, she'll run to
you
for kisses when she falls and scrapes her
knee, and will want you
reading her bedtime stories because you do
the voices just the way she likes them.
I'm going through the same thing with
.Alyvia and her father. She tolerates
things with him that she won't with me.
But she won't let him put her to bed -
only .Mommy will do. So I take some
comfort from that, and try to remind
myself that at the end of the day, she
only has one mommy and she knows
that.
laura,you always give great advise! I
totally agree with you!
Zany, your her only mommy girl! She's
only 8 weeks old and yeah,she smiles but
maybe she is just smiling cause she knows
how to now? Its like when they discover
their feet or fists,they chew on them
right? Well its the same with facial
movements.Maybe you voice *is* more
soothing to her since she was in *your*
belly.Calm down hun,she'll smile at you
jsut be patient!
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 01-17-07 08:24am
Chu went through a phase where he was in
love with dh. He laughed his first belly
laughs for dh and not for me . I
started to get extremely jealous of dh
because I felt like I was left out of the
inner circle with my own baby for pete's
sake! Now he focuses on both of us but
when i'm in the house, i'm the only one he
will let feed, change, bathe him. He
laughs at me like i'm a world class
comedienne! Honey, relax and be patient,
it *will* change.
and she'll decide
that she only wants 
. I
started to get extremely jealous of dh
because I felt like I was left out of the
inner circle with my own baby for pete's
sake! Now he focuses on both of us but
when i'm in the house, i'm the only one he
will let feed, change, bathe him. He
laughs at me like i'm a world class
comedienne! Honey, relax and be patient,
it *will* change.