Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Verbally Abusive Men And Change Posted: 01-20-07 19:10pm
I am a verbally abusive male. My wife and
I are separated. We have been for three
weeks now.
I admit I have a problem and am seeking
help. She does not know if she can take
me back and give it another try. Does
anyone know how to help me change?
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Re: Verbally Abusive Men And Change Posted: 01-30-07 15:07pm
angry and alone
wrote:
i am a verbally abusive
male. My wife and I are separated. We
have been for three weeks now.
I admit I have a problem and am seeking
help. She does not know if she can take
me back and give it another try. Does
anyone know how to help me change?
hi again, angry
i would go to a doctor.. And have a
little chat. He/she might have methods
for you to control your mouth. It's
hard..Especially if you don't know when
you are doing it or not. Just think..
Before you say it- how would you feel if
someone said what you were thinking-
directly to you? What kind of reaction
do you think you would get?
I am sure there are support groups for
this.. Join one- and listen in and get
input from others going through the same
thing as you! Google it
i hope this helps-
-= red =-
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dichotomy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jun 2007 Posts: 1 Location: rather not say
Posted: 06-14-07 16:28pm
I just came across you message. I am
curios whether or not you and your wife
reunited. I hope so...but only if you have
taken the steps to get help. There are
reasons why people do what they do and
there is nothing a person can do to
deserve abuse from their partner. There is
no justifying it either. By justifying it,
you are giving yourself an
excuse/permission not to change and take
responsibilty. If you take the steps to
get help you might find out that there is
a person in there that you really like and
that person is someone your wife loves. Be
the husband and man you should...stand up
and take a few blows from yourself...fight
the demon inside. don't take your inside
crap anymore. Myself, I just ended a 3
year relationship with a man who was
verablly abusive for the duration of the
relationship. I made apoint not to take it
personal because I knew what he was saying
was not true about me...unfortunately...it
slowing escalated..to grabbing and just
very recently he became very violent
towards me. He hurt me. I reported him to
the police and he is being charged. I
didn't want to. But he refuses to
acknowledge he has a problem. And what he
did was not right. I still love him and I
hope that he will now get the help he
needs or realize that he was killing the
relationship. I just wish someone else
could have explained this to him before
this all happened. I want him back...but
only if he has helped himself.
Unfortunately he will never know this. I
hope things work out for you.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 06-20-07 08:58am
dichotomy
wrote:
I just came across you
message. I am curios whether or not you
and your wife reunited. I hope so...but
only if you have taken the steps to get
help. There are reasons why people do what
they do and there is nothing a person can
do to deserve abuse from their partner.
There is no justifying it either. By
justifying it, you are giving yourself an
excuse/permission not to change and take
responsibilty. If you take the steps to
get help you might find out that there is
a person in there that you really like and
that person is someone your wife loves. Be
the husband and man you should...stand up
and take a few blows from yourself...fight
the demon inside. don't take your inside
crap anymore. Myself, I just ended a 3
year relationship with a man who was
verablly abusive for the duration of the
relationship. I made apoint not to take it
personal because I knew what he was saying
was not true about me...unfortunately...it
slowing escalated..to grabbing and just
very recently he became very violent
towards me. He hurt me. I reported him to
the police and he is being charged. I
didn't want to. But he refuses to
acknowledge he has a problem. And what he
did was not right. I still love him and I
hope that he will now get the help he
needs or realize that he was killing the
relationship. I just wish someone else
could have explained this to him before
this all happened. I want him back...but
only if he has helped himself.
Unfortunately he will never know this. I
hope things work out for
you.
I understand how you
feel! this person has not been on in a
while but formt he last time I talked to
him,things were not going so well,only
because his wife seemed to be over
everything even though he was trying to
change.I have not spoken to him in a while
and I hope everything is well for him.
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womaninpain
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 179
Posted: 07-10-07 23:15pm
I read this post and it made me cry. I am
with a person who is verbally and
emotionally abusive but he does not see
what he does and blames everything on
me...It is amazing to me that you see the
problem and you want to work on it. It is
understandable that she is scared that it
will not get better and she probably feels
a sense of relief since the split. You
need to go to counesling for this with
and/or without her. I can't say that she
will ever get back with you. I got back
with mine 2 years after...he changed only
for him to change back to his old ways. I
saw a change in him in the beginning but
it was like he had me back and didn't need
the counseling anymore and that was a big
part of his change back to his old ways. I
do think that if you start you should
never stop because there is a reason why
you are this way and it won't just get
better right away and this is the kind of
thing that you need to follow through
with. I wish you the best of luck...I
think that after you start counseling ask
her if she will be willing to go to
counseling with you, that would be a good
start.
