17 And I Don't Want Anymore Lithium Posted: 01-22-07 01:21am
Hi,
my name is bren and i'm 17 years old.
Unforntunately I have attempted suicide.
Actually i've done it twice. My first
attempt was last january 2nd I hung myself
in my storage room... It turned out to
be pretty noisy so my mom came running.
My parents decided it was best for me to
go to a mental health hospital because I
was already in counseling. I stayed
there for two weeks and got sent home.
Jan. 17th I overdosed on ambien. I
ended up going back to that hospital
(laurel oaks) through christmas. People
wonder why... And it seems to be this
big mystery... But the truth is my
mother has been abusing me since I was 5.
Not sexually but physicaly and mentally.
I was so ashamed to tell anyone, I come
from one of those... Everything is
family information only families. I told
someone in laurel oaks and had photographs
taken of bruises and bite marks. But
here I am a year later, and nothing has
happened. I feel so lost. Im 17 and
engaged, which im terrified of because I
think I might be just looking for the
affection I don't get elswhere... I
feel like im about to slip again, and I
don't know what to do. This is hell with
no exit. I can't tell anyone else, they
don't ever do anything and it just gets
worse. Please help... I just need
some advice. I need to know of some way
out. Any way out... I hate the things
she does and says to me, but I can't bring
myself to do anything back... I mean we
are about the same size but whenever she
comes after me I go into the same mode I
did when I was child, hit the fetal
position and everything. I have no one
to talk to and some advice would be great.
I don't want to go the old route and let
her drag me down, I want something new.
Ways to cope? Something.
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imaginary
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2007 Posts: 62 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:3
Think Wisely Posted: 02-01-07 06:31am
Everything will be alright my friend.
Be happy always.Try to erase ur past from
ur mind.Try to talk with someone about
you..Feel good..
And good luck
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 11:13am
Hey bren, nice meeting you and sorry to
hear about whats going on. Dude lithium
is bad...I really hate it. Giving your
age id say stick it out a few more
years...Its gona be hard but light will
shine on some things. First you will
grow away from your mother...You must.
If your feeling super traped talk to
someone (obviously you posted so your on
the right track). If you feel the need
for attention dont get married! Post
post post post...Talk talk talk do
whatever you can to keep your mind going
in the right way.
Thinking positive is a first and your
obviously doing this by the way you
posted. You are looking for something to
help you which is awsome!
Dont get to down on yourself, your young
and regardless of your life situations
right now you have much ahead of you. I
know how clean and secure suicide can look
in your mind...But its doing it ugly man.
Theres nothing wrose than a dead body
thats dead because of themselfs.
Stay up, ill be on these forums so reply
and we can keep this going.!
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November_Mommy05
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2005 Posts: 67 Location: Hartford City, Indiana
Posted: 02-01-07 11:36am
My advice may not as helpful, as some
others.. B/c I myself, am a depressant.
In my life, things seem to alwayz be going
wrong and I am constantly thinking about
dying or atleast disappearing *which only
seems harder.* I don't think about those
things as much now, but mainly b/c I have
a 15 month old daughter. I'm living for
her.
You do have a reason, and you are
important. At our ages 17, and 18 things
get extremely hard. You need to get your
mind focused on something else that is
important to you. Something that'll help
you live a more happy and solid life.
Doesn't it hurt you to think about dying?
You wouldn't be here anymore, quite
honestly.. You wouldn't be anywhere.
You could someday save somebody else's
life, and can you even imagine how that
might feel? Think about the kids you
someday may have, along with the girl you
may marry.. I don't even know you, but
you touched my heart. I just wish I
could say something that truly made a
difference.
Good luck, and plz msg me if you need
somebody to talk to... I'm here for
you.
**krysti**
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XredXbeautyX
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2007 Posts: 1 Location: PA
Re: Think Wisely Posted: 02-26-07 11:38am
imaginary
wrote:
Everything will be alright
my friend.
Be happy always.Try to erase ur past from
ur mind.Try to talk with someone about
you..Feel good..
And good luck
uhh..yeah. don't put the past out of your
mind. i've done that for 5 years and it
landed me in the hospital. if you just
push it to the back of your mind. feelings
are going to resurface and it's going to
hit you a millions times harder than did
before. confront your past learn to accept
and deal with it. and do talk about it
with someone you trust and are comfortable
with. and if it's hard for you to talk to
someone write, paint, draw, do something
that can help express the emotions you're
feeling. and if you're feeling like you're
going to break. call someone. call a
friend. calm youself before you make any
rash desicions. and if that doesn't work.
call a crisis intervention line, a suicide
help line. just try to find help before
it's too late.
good luck.