Hi all im new and I need some advice
i've just turned 20 and my fiance is 23
we've been together 4 years, I still live
at home with my parents and he lives with
his parents too.
I have a part time cleaning job and he
works full time, and my problem is I want
a baby but he doesn't, do you think i'm in
a good enough situation to have a baby?.
We couldn't afford a mortgage so we would
probably rent but he doesn't want to do
that he wants to save get a mortgage then
have a baby and thats about 3 years time
and i'm ready for one now.
What should I do, sorry about the long
rant but it's been bubbling up inside me.
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Sophie585
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2006 Posts: 141 Location: Canada
Posted: 01-22-07 10:22am
Honestly, it seems like you know that you
would be better off waiting. I know the
thought of having a baby is so exciting,
but it just wouldn't be fair to bring one
into the world in less than ideal
circumstances on purpose. My bf and .I
are renting, and we both work (or at least
he will continue to work after .I have the
baby) and .I know its still going to be
hard.
My advice: wait until your situation
improves. There's plenty of time to have
a baby...Just wait until you can give it
what it deserves.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 01-22-07 10:35am
Honestly, don't plan to have a baby unless
you are "equipped" to do so.
Babies don't come cheap.
You need a stable income and a stable home
and relationship.
You should give your boyfriend props for
wanting to save and get a mortgage so that
you have a stable home for a child.
You want to be self reliant, knowing that
you can afford the neccessities for the
baby and not worrying about stuff like how
will you afford the next pack of diapers.
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sam863
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 01-22-07 10:46am
Obviously I would have to give up my job
but we would manage he has a good income
so that wouldn't be a worry. It's the
fact that he doesn't want a baby for 3-4
years.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8910 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 172
Thanked:197
Posted: 01-22-07 10:52am
sam863
wrote:
obviously I would have to
give up my job but we would manage he has
a good income so that wouldn't be a worry.
It's the fact that he doesn't want a
baby for 3-4
years.
i had a baby and got married when I was
16. My one regret? Not doing all the
.M.E things that young people get to do.
I didn't get to date. I go out dancing.
Go to the movies, etc. I stayed home,
with a baby.
Why don't you go take some college
courses? Everything gets exponentially
harder when you have a baby around.
Daycare, living expenses, diapers,
carseats, etc.
If your only argument for you
having a baby is that you are ready.
Think about your boyfriend... It doesn't
sound as if he is ready at all.
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seksiHily
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 1015 Location: MN
Posted: 01-22-07 11:04am
How great can his income be? He's living
with his parents.
I'm sorry but if you can't afford a place
to stay even...
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 01-22-07 12:17pm
sam863
wrote:
obviously I would have to
give up my job but we would manage he has
a good income so that wouldn't be a worry.
It's the fact that he doesn't want a
baby for 3-4
years.
he doesn't just "not want a baby for 3-4
years" though.
You gave specific reasons for him not
wanting a baby yet.
First off he wants a good stable home for
you so he wants to get a mortgage.
He is being very responsible - be proud of
him.
