Sexual Health - Men Forum

Unfortunately like everyone said there is no set game plan, but that doesn't mean there aren't things to learn.

If you're a virgin I take it that you're young and chances are the girl you sleep will also be young and perhaps a virgin as well. If she is a virgin you can pretty much guarantee that she'll want to take it slow, so do that and keep her comfortable. If she asks you to slow or stop, do so. To continue would be rape by the way.

Foreplay is important, even more so for women. That includes kissing, touching, caressing, talking and if you decide to and have learned about the dangers of unprotected sex, then oral sex too (yes, std's can be gotten from oral sex). Women are also more akin to full body arousal. That means that you should not just concentrate on her breasts and genitals. Caress her entire body, stomach, arms, breasts, nipples, thighs, neck, etc. But the main pleasure will still arrive from stimulating her genitals. Most girls masturbate by rubbing their clits, while some (usually more experienced girls) also add or even concentrate on the g-spot. The clit is at the top of her vagina, underneath a hood of skin. It's extremely sensitive and hardens when she is aroused. Don't go rubbing it hard and fast, especially when she is dry. If she's aroused she should be self lubricated, but you can use artificial as well. If she's not aroused, she might not be comfortable so concentrate on relaxing her and yourself. Compliment her to let her know you think she's beautiful and that you're not judging her naked body. Young people and perhaps girls more so are highly self-conscious about their naked bodies and dread being judged. Be sincere as well, don't lie. Don't go ogling her body if she looks uncomfortable, look in her eyes and talk to her while you caress a not-so-private-part of her body, such as her stomach. After you're both ready to move on and you've done some non-genital foreplay you can move to her genitals.

If you go to rub her gentials (again, not dryly), be gentle. Bring some lube up from her labia to her clit. If you did well at foreplay she should be warmed up, but you may want to gently move over her entire vagina and not go straight to the clit. At the clit you can run your finger side to side, in circles or up and down. All women are different, so there's no set way, but try something simple and gentle. You can ask her how she likes it, but the first time is usually awkward and she may not even admit to masturbating. You also don't want to ask her how to do everything, just try some things slowly and watch how she reacts. Her eyes, her breathing, her moans and body movements will tell you if you're doing it right. If you find something she really likes, keep at it. You'll get signs that she likes it and you may press firmer or go faster which will usually change her reaction. Adjust based on if her reaction was good or bad. Oral sex is the same. Generally circle her clit with your tongue, kiss it, light sucking, and pay attention to her reactions. You can insert fingers into her as well, but again not all girls like that.

Don't try to do everything and learn everything your first time. You'll learn more about her as time goes on and she'll be more comfortable with you and what she'll feel comfortable with you doing. You'll learn more about her erogenous zones, the g-spot, positions, tempo, etc.

As for intercourse, again take it slow at first and see how she reacts and respond in kind. She might like full strokes, or she might like you close so that your bodies touch and her clit is stimulated. There are tons of positions but you don't need to do anymore than 1 or 2 to start. Most people start with missionary. If she's aggressive or you're both having a good and comfortable time you might try others, specifically girl-on-top. It's a great way for you to relax and for her to be in control to do what gets her off. Watch what she does. Is she going fast, full strokes, is she rubbing her clit on you, when is she moaning, etc. This is also a good position to provide her with additional stimulation. Caressing her thighs, stomach, breasts, ass, and whatever you can reach. If she's not getting much out of riding you, see if she reacts well to you rubbing her clit at the same time.

That's just general way to start and explore. Keep it simple the first time and don't try to be formulaic or planned. Just go with what's natural and what she seems to react too. Most important is for her to be comfortable. She'll like you a lot more if she's comfortable and doesn't get an orgasm than if you bang away at her genitals trying to maker her cum while she is anxious and uncomfortable. You don't even have to have sex if it doesn't look like she's ready. You'll be nervous too, so it's going to make you more relaxed if there's not the pressure of having to do certain things and go all the way. So just relax, take it slow, and enjoy your first time. You're not going to be a world class lover, neither is she, and neither of you are going to get ridiculed for mistakes. Afterwards you can relax, cuddle and gently caress her entire body, talk, laugh, reassure her (only if she needs it, don't offer reassurance if she doesn't look like she's embarassed. But you can still say nice things and compliment her), etc.

If you want you can get a book that gives more tips, but you don't really need them yet. A book isn't going to teach you how to be a great lover. You have to just go with it and react to her. After you're both comfortable and have had sex numerous times then you can start learning about better techniques and positions through books and really start bringing great sex to your lives.

So go out, find a nice girl, don't be too nervous, make some mistakes, and learn and grow from there. And be safe and where a condom. Every time.

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