My husband is a liar. He is a
salesperson, a con artist, and can be
wonderful to keep things his way and very
very ugly when things dont go right. I
found out some whopper lies last june and
decided to give it a try to work it out.
He was never repentant, never said he
would change, he just wanted to stay.
Then while trying to recover, I found
another (newer)lie and decided I just
couldnt deal with never knowing what is
going on in his life. He wants to just
be happy together with no questions or
emotional intimacy - politeness and
regular sex. Well, he just moved out, at
my insistance, and I was looking forward
to moving on, finding a new mr.
Wonderful, and rebuilding, when I found
out I am pregnant. I believe in pro
choice, but because of various obvious
signs (that I wont go into) I feel god
wants me to keep this child. I feel
suddenly alone. Burdened. Angry with
god. I feel jealous that he can go out
and meet many women and I will be at home
with a baby. I feel like I shouldnt even
date until the child is a few years old (i
wouldnt want someone that would accept
quite so much baggage) I am already 40.
My looks are fading - or, well, they will
be. in my sick mind, I
want him to find out I am pregnant and
come running back - but why - he is a
miserable #@!@##@. What can I do to make
sure I am not using this baby as an excuse
to make him change and repent? How can I
move on when I feel I need to wait nine
month and two years. I know I saw
definate answers from god to keep this
baby, but I really really know it is a
very stupid choice. I am so confused.
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 02-01-07 06:31am
Best wishes to you.........Your thoughts
and feelings are all over the
place.............What you need is someone
such as a good friend or close family
member to guide you...................But
ultimately the choice is
yours......................
.............I doubt very much that you
want that guy back in your
life...............You won't be don't
yourself any favours.............If you do
decide to keep the
baby...................The only thing he's
required for is child
support.....................As for
dating..................There are guys out
there that don't consider children
"baggage"................I'm dating one
now and i'm 44.....................If they
think that way..............Than in my
book they're a waste of time
anyway.........................And it's
not just 9months plus 2 years...........It
could be longer.................Not here
to scare you, however you should think of
all the
possibilities.................Being an
older woman like myself.............There
is a chance of giving birth to a child
with disabilities............Are you
prepared for
that?.....................................
From your post, your right you do sound
very confused..........................Get
some support now!
|
Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 11:54am
Hia tamartk. Sorry to hear about your
struggle, I know its hard. First and
formost you need to lose this man.
Secondly, and remeber this is my mind
working...God shouldnt have anything to do
with this baby. You are the one carying
it and you are the one who decydes what
enviroment you bring this child into.
My last girlfriend had a child of 6 years.
When I met her the child was 5, I was
with this girl for 2 years and lived with
her. It was hard for her when we broke
up and I moved out but I really worked
with her. She told me that when her ex
husban (childs dad) left he just cold
turked and took off...Hes still in the
childs life but he just booked it when the
littler girl frist came around.
N-e-ways keep you head up. 40 isint that
old lol, my mother had me @ 38 and shes
still ontop of the world. I know this is
a very hard situation but this man has to
go. From what you have said hes no good
for you. Things will work out...Time is
the only cure unfortunatly....But time
also makes things much better. Stay up
^_^
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-01-07 15:22pm
spirit
wrote:
best wishes to
you.........Your thoughts and feelings are
all over the place.............What you
need is someone such as a good friend or
close family member to guide
you...................But ultimately the
choice is yours......................
.............I doubt very much that you
want that guy back in your
life...............You won't be don't
yourself any favours.............If you do
decide to keep the
baby...................The only thing he's
required for is child
support.....................As for
dating..................There are guys out
there that don't consider children
"baggage"................I'm dating one
now and i'm 44.....................If they
think that way..............Than in my
book they're a waste of time
anyway.........................And it's
not just 9months plus 2 years...........It
could be longer.................Not here
to scare you, however you should think of
all the
possibilities.................Being an
older woman like myself.............There
is a chance of giving birth to a child
with disabilities............Are you
prepared for
that?.....................................
From your post, your right you do sound
very confused..........................Get
some support now!
pleeeeeeeaase stop typing like that, it's
really hard to read your posts. One
period is fine.
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-01-07 15:24pm
Tamark,
i am a single mom and it is tough but it
is also one of the best things in the
world. Is this your first child?? You
need to think everything thorugh very
carefully. Do you want your hubby in you
and this baby's life?? Are you
financially/emotionally secure to raise
this child alone if you have to?
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
in my sick mind, I
want him to find out I am pregnant and
come running back - but why - he is a
miserable #@!@##@. What can I do to make
sure I am not using this baby as an excuse
to make him change and repent? How can I
move on when I feel I need to wait nine
month and two years. I know I saw
definate answers from god to keep this
baby, but I really really know it is a
very stupid choice. I am so confused.
