Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 307 Location: Australia
Dear Young Girls:not Young Mums: Posted: 02-07-04 05:20am
Dear young girls on this forum who are
thinking of being mummies:
as I am writing this my two year old
daughter is still awake, she has been
since 4am this morning, it is now 9 pm
here, she hasn't had a nap all day,
believe me I have tried, my bed has been
both caca in and pissed on, as we are in
the middle of potty training, I needed to
go shopping today and I couldnt, I had to
ask my friend to run up the shops 4 me
because I was out of nappies for my 12
week old, and my eldest didnt want to get
in the car......
I know, shes 2, im 21, whos the boss
here? Well let me tell u its her..... I
know that if I want to shop I need to
orginise a baby sitter, u have all seen
the screaming kids in the shop and said, "
cant she control that kid, well the truth
is no one can controle a toddler, you live
and work around ur toddler..... They
understand and follow only a few rules,
when I first found out I was pregnant I
was excited, I looked forward to buying
those little clothes, and holding my tiny
new born,,,,, when she was born she was
the ideal baby, slept through the night at
7 weeks, fed every 6 hours, hardly
cried............... That was
then...................
She hit 9 months and started teething, I
remember one night when she screamed so
much she vomited and then screamed some
more, I was in tears........... And u
know what? I realised then when it was
too late that I wasn't ready.......... So
I got on with being a mum, hell even had
another just to seal the deal, and tonight
while my best mate is out having a great
time for her 21st im stuck at home, I love
my kids, but I don't recomend this to any
one..... To tell u the truth, I dont know
what im doing, no young mum does, even
those of us who have kids 24 -7 dont know
what tomorrow will bring, let alone the
next 18 years, hell, you are a mum till u
die............
Please listen......... Having a baby does
not mean you will, 1; keep the guy
2; have some one to love that loves u back
( u must first love ur self)
3; make u an adult
also please believe me u are not
ready........ Not unless u can already
finantually, spiritually and emotionly
support that child, complete ur education,
get a job, see the world, (or at least
part of it), then have that baby,
otherwise, u may find yourself writing
something similar in a few
years............
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pInKpAnThEr
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 626 Location: Indiana
Posted: 02-07-04 10:49am
But if u make the decision to , thats your
choice. I know its tough, and no one here
does deny that..But there is much more
good that comes with all the bad. I say
either way as long as you are
prepared..Thats your deal...And if its a
mistake u need to take responsibility for
it. I hated being prego at first cuz I
thought of the bad sides before I thought
of the good. And im still prego (25
weeks) and im actually gettin excited. I
love livy, and we're guna grow up
together. I respect what u had to say but
if its already done, its over now and
thats somethin ya gota deal with right?
Lol, not tryin to b whiny but u kinda hurt
my feelings there.
Well gtg
love mol
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JillMarie
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 3022 Location: Iowa
Posted: 02-07-04 11:02am
It's not about hurtting anyone feelings
but making them relize that it is the
hardest thing they will ever have to do.
Im not saying it bad but you are still
pregnat so give it another 6 months and
you will know what we are talking about.
Thanks mumof2 for the good advice. I
think this forum should educate young
girls not to have kids as well as us that
are being able to share out up's and
down's.
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pInKpAnThEr
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 626 Location: Indiana
Posted: 02-07-04 11:29am
Right I agree...But whats done is done,
and I know its guna be rough and
everything..I completely understand that,
and I respect her completely but every
post is like how she regrets it..Theres
gota be something shes happy about with
her children...
Love mol
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Untimely Blessings
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 383
Posted: 02-07-04 11:36am
I'll admit that it is very hard having a
baby over summer break between 7th and 8th
grade, would it have been easier
finacially,physically and mentally to give
her up or had an abortion, of course it
would've! Do I regret my decision?
Never, I have never once wondered what
life would have been without her, because
she is my life and I love her to death! I
am grateful everyday that I have
christina!
Kelly
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mumof2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 307 Location: Australia
Posted: 02-08-04 04:05am
I never said that I regret having my kids,
only that I regret having them so young, I
love them and would lay down my life for
them, I know whats done is done, what I
was trying to get across was this is hard,
I think that all of us with kids know
that, and those of u who are pregnant now
have some idea of that, but the girls who
are not pregnant, and who are thinking
about doing it still have a choice, I
enjoy my childern, and every day they make
me smile, but I realised too late ( ie
after I made the choise to become
pregnant) just how hard it really was, my
point was to let those young girls know
how hard it is, not to put any one down
thats why it was addressed not young
mums.....
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anorexicbeauty
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2004 Posts: 229 Location: In the 'Tweens
Posted: 02-08-04 10:18am
You can't pursuade teens not to get
pregnant, if they have already decided
that they are gonna try, that’s what they
are going to do. Look at me I had camden
4 days after I turned 16. Two weeks after
I had him, my parent’s kicked me out. I
met my husband about 2 years later. We
planned my son dayton, and I was 18 when I
got pregnant with him. We also planned
yvonna but I was 21 when I got pregnant
with her. Its hard now cause he isn’t
here, but what am I gonna do? I think if
you really want to have a baby, do this…
ask yourself, do you think having a baby
is easy? If so why and how?
How are you going to support this child?
Where will you live? How will you pay for
it?
If you think a baby is hard, your right,
but multiply the hardness by 10, and if
you have a multiple pregnancy times it by
20.
If you want a baby, go for it, but only if
you have the means. Don’t live off
welfare, because you planned a baby and
don’t want to get a job. Please those of
you who are on welfare do not take
offense, I am addressing those who are ttc
without the money to do so!
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JillMarie
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Dec 2003 Posts: 3022 Location: Iowa
Posted: 02-08-04 19:31pm
Thank you that sounds good!
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mumof2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Feb 2004 Posts: 307 Location: Australia
Posted: 02-09-04 04:19am
Both of my children were planned and very
much wanted, they have the same father who
works hard to support us, I know that you
cant change someones mind for them, its
something they have to do for themselves,
but I have been reading some of these
posts and most of the young girls ttc
think that they are ready, and some maybe,
and others may think "if they can do it so
can i", im just trying to let them see
that the reality of the situation can take
months, even years to catch up with them,
and that even when you think you are
ready, you may not really be, you dont
know what its like to be a parent untill
you have a child in your arms that belongs
to you and you only, you cant put them
away or give them back when things get
rough..... So many of the girls that come
and see me at work ( I work in area
health, teen parents, its a mentor/
support program) who are ttc, and ive
noticed a few on here say it too, say that
they have cared for their
friends/sisters/cousins baby for extended
periods and that it didn't bother them,
the fact is that baby sitting and real
life parenting are two different things,
with the highest of highs but also the
lowest of lows, it is the most challaging
and rewarding thing I have ever done, but
it is also something that I dont want for
my daughters..... A little bit
hypocritical, well alot, but I want my
daughters to beable to really enjoy just
being themselves for a while b4 they
become somebodies mother, have to pay off
morgages, find money for nappies, or save
for somebody's education other than their
own.............. As I have said b4, I
dont regret having my kids, I regret
having them at a time in my life when I
had nothing to offer (other than my
complete devotion, love alone will not
feed a baby ).
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Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 02-09-04 08:16am
I think that this was definitly a good
topic to start. A lot of girls on here
have strong feelings about this. Hmm how
do I feel. I get mad about this
sometimes, because girls dont realize how
hard it is until it is to late. For
example they plan a pregnancy, and then
give the baby up or have an abortion. Now
I understand that they were unaware and I
understand that it is probably anyday
better than the streets but that really
angers me off. My favorite quote, "if you
are old enough to lay down and have sex,
you better be old enough to accept the
responsibilities."
hope you understand.
That is all I can say
i love my son...
Stacie
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 02-09-04 12:17pm
Last edited by insurancegirl on 10-06-04 12:18pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mesmerizeu15
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 2729 Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posted: 02-09-04 12:31pm
I know what you mean jennifer, I sometimes
lay in bed and cry for just "me" time, but
hey I guess I am ruining my "me" time at
1am!!
