Hi everyone. I'm new here. Let me shed
some light on my relationship.
A long time ago, I went to a similar
website to this to get advice on a
problem. I never told her about it, but
recently we had another problem. I went
on again, and asked for some advice. I
didn't get any unfortunately, but I told
her it would be a good way to get advice
with our problems. She went on, and
immediately started looking for my posts
to see what I had said. I had deleted
them all because I had predicted correctly
she would look for them. Isn't this a
violation of our trust for each other? I
never go looking for things or ask her
friends what she's said about me, but she
always seems to ask if i've told anyone
our problems, and she always wants to make
sure no one knows about our problems, even
though i've told her problems in a
relationship are normal. Everyone we know
thinks our relationship is fine, even
though we fight a lot in private. I tell
my friends my problems, but she's too
scared to because she thinks she'll get
judged. She always wants my opinion on
our problems, but then I get yelled at if
I say the wrong thing. Basically, i'm
having trust issues, and some issues with
the fact that we "have to be the perfect
couple" in everyone elses eyes, even
though I don't always feel that way. I
know we are not, and I feel stupid because
everyone always considers us the perfect
couple. I need some advice, help,
whatever people can offer. Thanks
everyone.
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-01-07 15:26pm
Your girlfriend sounds like she has some
esteem issues she needs to deal with. If
someone has been hurt in the past it is
very hard to get past that and move on in
any future relationship. She needs to be
the one to realize that though.
All relationships have problems, people
need to disagree or the world would be
booooooring. It's just a way of dealing
with the arguments. Maybe you 2 could
look into couples counseling and it would
help with the esteem issues.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-01-07 15:33pm
Hi there, sorry about the other forums...I
understand how time sensitive responses
are when ur in need of them ^_^.
This whole situation is a little murkey
due to the information you gave but ill do
my best. First what sprung these trust
issues? Usualy in a relationship a trust
boundry is broken and it leads the whole
thing down hill. Its very hard to regain
trust in someone you give so much, its
natural...Thats why you dont do bad things
to other people you love lol. N-e-ways
you guys shouldnt really worry about what
others think of your relationship...Its
your relationship...You 2..Not anyone
eles. As for the whole talking with
friends...I had kind of the same problem.
I like to talk, I love talking about
everything. My last relationship was
with someone who never talked and would
get upset if I talked to someone about our
problems. You guys must respect each
others decision to talk or not. Work on
trying to find a common ground at which
you both feel comfortable...Its hard but
if shes worth it...It will be worth it.
Also just to clarify some stuff up...Why
did you perdict she would look for your
post? Do you guys have past trust
issues?
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babydance143
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2007 Posts: 24
Posted: 02-04-07 21:24pm
Hello,
so sorry to hear about your trust issues
in your relationship! How long have you
all been together? Seems like your
girlfriend has been hurt before! And let
me tell you, its hard to trust someone
again, once you have been cheated on, or
heart broken! I agree that every
relationship has problems! The key to a
succesful relationship is being able to
talk to one another, let each other know
how you are feeling! Trust issues are a
big deal in a relationship, because if you
dont have trust you dont have anything! I
would reccomend talking with your
girlfriend and tell her how your feeling,
and ask her honey what do you think. Or
how do you feel about that?? Its ok to
reach out to some friends for advice, and
even if you dont want to talk to friends
you have come to the right place! We all
have problems once in a while, and we need
someone that has been through what were
going through to ease our concerns! Good
lucke with speaking to your girlfriend,
and tell her before the conversation
begans that you dont want to fight you
just would simply like to talk to each
other like adults...Good luck..Its gets
hard, but you will go through it.
