I'm sure some or all of you have thought
about the option of adoption. I have
thought about it, but frankly I don't want
to adopt. I want the whole experience
of being pregnant, and more importantly I
want to have my husbands baby.
When my husband and I first started
talking about having a baby, we knew
already that it would be hard b/c I hadn't
gotten pregnant yet. He said there is
always adoption....
Well I don't know how to tell my husband
and tell him that I don't want to do that.
I don't want to offend him. I say
that because he is adopted because his mom
was unable to have kids. He has an
adopted sister as well.
How do I talk to my husband that I don't
want to adopt that I would rather have his
child and not offend him???
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tululabell
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 May 2006 Posts: 256 Location: michigan
Posted: 02-01-07 19:43pm
Hi, that is a hard one. How long have you
been ttc for?
Have you been to the dr and everything?
Why not just say that you want to try a
little longer and see how it goes for
now... I don't know. But hopefully he
would understand that you would want to do
whatever you can to have a baby yourself
first, and there is nothing wrong with
that!
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shortgeek
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006 Posts: 597 Location: DC
Posted: 02-01-07 19:45pm
Are you unwilling to consider adoption
under any circumstance? (e.G., you'd
rather be a childless couple at 50 then
raise an adopted child) if so, then you
can tell him how much you enjoy his
company and how much you can do together
if you didn't have kids. Make sure he
understands that you'd love to have kids
if they were little yous, but otherwise
you want it to be just you and him.
If there are some conditions under which
you would consider adoption, then perhaps
you can try to compromise. Tell him you
really want a little one who is part you
and part him. Then suggest that you will
consider adoption under some condition
that the two of you negotiate. You can
start with, if I don't get pregnant by the
time we're 50.
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*star*
Moderator
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1801 Location: ,
Thanks: 22
Thanked:24
Adoption??? Posted: 02-01-07 20:19pm
Thanks for your replies.
No we haven't been to the doctor yet. I
just had a referal to go to the
reproductive endocrinologist today at the
ob/gyn. I would concider the option of
adoption but I would rather have our own.
I was asking because I feel like if I say
I don't want to adopt, then he will get
hurt like he is umm.. I don't know like
he would think like I don't think that
adoption is good enough.
Maybe that's me just being crazy. I just
don't want to hurt him. I think he knows
that I want our babies, but I don't want
to say something that will hurt him.
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sara**
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 65 Location: US,Michigan
Posted: 02-02-07 00:49am
Oh my god I got it tell him instead of
adopting we can do fertility surgery
i hope that works but hey he your husband
be strat with him if your not going to be
strat with him then who are you going to
be strat with girl dont worry so much does
he like want to adopt right now, just
relax breath and dont worry you sound like
me when I first came to this site lol
lolololololololololololololo try to
explain to him that there much more to
life than kids (i know there isnt anything
more baetiful then children to us women)
but hey what can we do other then just
wiat ontill god gives you this present
trust me I think god gives us the prestens
of being pregnet at the right time girl
just relax I know its easer said then done
try to come on here or talk to a close
friend just to let it out of you and try
not to remind your husband about the idea
of children . How do you now its just
your falt and not his falt to ? Trust me
star today its possible to do anything in
medicen . If they found out how to make a
gay guy pregnet I think they have more
then a thousand saloution for people that
are ttc . Lol I didnt like bring gay guy
up becasue thats like the number one thing
I hate in the world but I just had to
bring it up lololoolololololo ok I dont
want to write a artical or anything I
think I willl leave the rest for who ever
is going to finsh this or maybe complain
about it lolololololo baby dust to
everyone shortgeek, *star* me of course
lol and oops I almost forgot monkeygirl22
and also to
everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Abbysmom
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2006 Posts: 471
Posted: 02-02-07 14:38pm
I would say at this point, don't rule
anything out. You may not want to jump
immediately to adoption but you never know
what the future holds. Just tell your
husband that you want to keep trying for
your own child together for the time
being. I'm sure he will understand.
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*star*
Moderator
Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1801 Location: ,
Thanks: 22
Thanked:24
Posted: 02-02-07 14:43pm
I think I was more concerned that I would
hurt his feelings if I said something like
that, but from everyone's responses it
sounds like he probably wouldn't be. He
doesn't talk to much about it, and I have
learned most of the details about his
adoption from his mom. I don't really
ask him to many questions because he
usually doesn't want to talk about it and
I feel like I really wouldn't understand
where he is coming from since I have two
parents and he was adopted.
Thank you guys so much for your support...
I really need it now
