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anonymous81

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Please Help... Posted: 02-04-07 16:55pm


A couple weeks ago I just met the most amazing girl. And now I might very well lose her because of ed... First I don't think the problem is physical in nature. I get morning erections, I can get full erections via masturbation which I can sustain for as long as I want to. I've also got a great recovery and stamina. My problem in my opinion, is that I always masturbate to porn. I read a few articles by surfing the web, saying that the mind can "program" itself to only get satisfaction or arousal from porn, making it difficult if not impossible to get it from being intimate with a real person.... I have stopped masturbating for 1 week now. Same with porn. But tonight the same thing happened as before... And I tried experimenting when getting back home. I tried masturbating thinking about my girlfriend or even my ex's. No use. Got a partial erection for 10 seconds or so but that's it. Then I opened a porn website. I didn't even need to touch myself to get a full erection... Which I managed to sustain for 5 minutes without any effort and harldy touching myself. What can I do... I am definitely removing porn from my life for good, but is there something I can do to restore or should I say redirect my sex drive towards my girlfriend? I just can't imagine losing her because of this... Thanks for any help or advice that you can give me

Llewellyn

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Joined: 21 Jan 2007
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Location: NY

Posted: 02-04-07 19:19pm


You could always try watching pornography with her if you two are both comfortable with that.

anonymous81

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Posted: 02-07-07 08:11am


Advice anyone? I don't want to hear any suggestions which involve porn... Please I am seriously done with that crap. My relationship with my gf will probably be over by next week while she is the most amazing girl i've ever been with. Last night we were making out on the couch in her living room, I got hard, we rushed to the room and by the time my clothes were off I was soft again. Didn't go up as much as we both tried. It's destroying us both. She has never been in a situation like this. Same for me actually as this is the first time this happens. This is driving me crazy as I am a guy who used to be able to do it up 3 times in a row! The worst part is that I can feel my sex drive dying... I used to have morning erections before I stopped porn and masturbation last week, now nothing. Heck I am not aroused at any time in the day anymore. My gf keeps sending me sexy sms's, she's tried everything in bed and is getting completely depressed... I might very well be the one who ends this relationship because I just love her too damn much to put her through this. I'd rather be miserable on my own. I am actually going to go see a urologist saturday morning. Who knows maybe it's some kind of hormonal problem. Testosterone problem. I just don't know what to think anymore. This is absurd, you're crazy about someone, you just feel like making love all night long and bam you can't get it up. I might just ask for a viagra prescription. At 25. Never thought i'd actually need it... Who knows, maybe doing it with "help" will trigger something in my brain and make me functional again.

Tylanas

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Posted: 02-07-07 09:29am


Okay, well first, there isn't anything inherently wrong with porn or masturbation. Masturbation itself is a very healthy activity, and it sound slike you have killed your own sex drive by depriving yourself of these things. No, i'm not saying go back to porn, but going back to masturbation might help you. Why did you abandon porn in the first place? My boyfriend looks at it, I look at it, and it's not destroying our relationship. Then again, he knows how to moderate it, and he doesn't look at it while i'm around. He'll use it to masturbate while we're on webcam, I know he does (if i'm not also on camera), but I can't see it so what do I care? In the end, I think you've killed your own libido. I don't think it's horomonal. I think it's mental, and you. If you're stressed about this happening, it's going to happen even more, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Worrying that you won't be able to "keep it up" is going to make you nervous and stressed, and that'll kill an erection any day!

doroven

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 8

Posted: 02-07-07 10:59am


Buy viagra or cialis and when will girlfriend drink pill

Color of Paper

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 171
Location: Long Beach, Ca

Posted: 02-07-07 11:32am


Whats up anon. Best thing to do is not stress about it and slowly forget about masturbating all the time...Stay busy dont have any down time where you can sit infront of your computer and watch porn...Get up and move around.

Llewellyn

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Posts: 1743
Location: NY

Posted: 02-07-07 12:52pm


The ruder that you are, the less likely you will be to get good advice. If my advice does not work for you, say so, and we'll keep talking about other options. Being rude about it is highly unnecessary, however. How am I to know what you are thinking and what will work for you? Problems like this often can't be solved with a single post in a forum. I agree with eiri that there is nothing inherently wrong with porn. You could always look into couples counseling or sex therapy as the problem sounds like it certainly might be psychological as opposed to physical.

anonymous81

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Posted: 02-08-07 07:56am


I wasn't being rude... I am just very stressed and I really don't want to hear about porn anymore. I know stress isn't helping but I am most probably going to lose the first girl I really fell for. She is everything I was looking for in a girl and it's like it just wasn't meant to be. Anyway, like I said, saturday I am seeing a urologist who will most probably tell me that nothing's wrong with me and that it's all in my head. Hopefully i'll get him to give me a viagra prescription. I am willing to do anything for that girl. I don't want to call it quits before I tried every option possible... That is if she can still wait...

anonymous81

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Posted: 02-09-07 01:07am


Little update... Last night it nearly happened... For some reason my gf feels a lot better now because I think she finally convinced herself that the problem was not with her but definitely something on my side. We were in a club, dancing (that way), and I was extremely turned on all night. So we decided to call it a night early and go back to my place. Things went on much better than usual and I finally had an erection. Lasted a while, happened quite a few times in the 3 hours + that we fooled around, lots of foreplay and all, but unfortunately still no penetration... I didn't have a full erection and she's very tight. My size didn't help either (7.5inch and girth above avg too...) even with a so-so erection it just wouldn't go in. She was more than well lubricated from all the foreplay but I guess I just needed to be at full length. Anyway I feel much better now I guess and I know it'll just happen in the near future... I am just glad things are better now with my gf which should contribute to removing lots of pressure from my mind and focus on just enjoying what we have and just let it happen. I'll still visit the doctor on sat morning, I have nothing to lose.

anonymous81

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Posted: 02-10-07 09:34am


New and prolly last update... Well it happened last night. Finally! :p it was after a couple hours of foreplay and fooling around, had multiple partial erections and was about to give up one more time, when out of nowhere I felt "it". Did it twice in a row and was pretty amazing... I hope this is the last time I face this problem! I got my sex drive back too which isn't a bad thing either! Couldn't have come at a better time because my gf had a flight to catch at 4am went to the doctor this morning btw and after a bunch of tests I got the answer I expected: "it's not a medical problem but a psychological one. Bla bla bla". I probably will never know what caused this and what triggered my sex drive to come knockin on the door again!