I have been married for nearly 13 years
and have never had any problems with an
erection. Well my wife had an affair
several months ago that crushed me
literally. I thought I would have told
her to go take a hike but the feeling of
her being with another man made me realize
just how much I love her.
To make a long story short I now find
myself trying way too hard when it comes
to sex as if im trying to impress her so
she will be satisfied with me. What this
does is causes severe anxiety and makes it
impossible to get an erection most of the
time.
If we have spontaneous sex im fine but
when it comes to me pleasuring her for a
length of time it gives me time to "think"
about my erection and it goes away. My
wife is really trying. She has even been
trying to give me oral sex and I have gone
soft while she was doing that which totoly
humiliated her.
The sad part is that our marriage is
better than it has eveb been now and this
problem is screwing it up. I take
cialis, and levitra and it doesnt help
because I guess when the fear and anxiety
set in it just blocks my natural felings
of stimulation that I should be feeling
and that I want to feel.
I really need the advice of a doctor of
how to overcome this. For the time being
I ould even take the tri mix injections
until I get my mind right. Where can I
get this tri mix and what does it normally
cost? Thanks
|
Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 02-06-07 01:07am
If your problem is largely psychological,
then the last thing you need is more drugs
pumped into your body. You have to
tackle the psychological aspect. I can
certainly understand why you might be
having problems keeping erections after
that. It does not sound like drugs are
the answer, however. Marriage counseling
would probably do more for you than drugs
at the moment.
|
ForceFan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 02-06-07 01:12am
Ok. What kind of doctor do I need to
see? Its all in my mind I already know.
I need physchotherapy I think. What
could a eurologist do for me? I just
need the problem gone before it wrecks the
good marriage that we have now.
|
Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 02-06-07 02:37am
I doubt a urologist could do anything for
you since it does not sound like your
issue is physical in nature. Counseling,
probably marriage counseling, would be
your best bet. That would be getting to
the root of the problem as opposed to just
dealing with the symptoms. You can check
your phone book to see what therapists are
near you.
Marriage counseling might be good for both
of you. Cheating isn't always physical.
So if your wife cheated for emotional
reasons, therapy could also help to get to
the root of that issue and hopefully
decrease the chances of it happening
again.
You could also look into sex therapists.
You could look for exciting new ways to
spice up your love making.
|
HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 02-06-07 23:50pm
Since it sounds mostly psychological the
advice above is good and should be looked
into. Also, since it's psychological and
your marriage is doing good i'd suggest
talking about it with your wife. She
feels bad thinking it's her fault, and you
feel anxious to please her and lose your
erection. If you talk you'll ease both of
your anxieties and hopefully help.
Just a bit more information even though
your problem is psychological, you can
find a book that entails how to overcome
ed naturally. I don't mean herbs even,
though that may help, I mean giving your
body what it needs to maintain sexual
health. Just like your heart, liver,
muscles, etc. Need nutrition and certain
ingredients, so does your sexual systems.
It'd never hurt to do this for sexual
health throughout your life, but you
should start with easing your anxiety
since that's your problem.
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 662 Location: , Norn Iron
Posted: 02-13-07 17:57pm
forcefan
wrote:
link doesnt
work
dont bother, its just spam. I totally
agree with the others, this is not really
a sexual issue, this is a personal issue
between you and your wife. What she did
has hurt you and killed your confidence
and trust, these are the aspects you need
to build on. Sex drugs would only act as
a sticking plaster to the problem, when it
needs to be tackled at its root. Marriage
councelling may help, yes. I wish you
the best with whatever route you take to
mending your marriage.
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1617 Location: ,
Posted: 02-13-07 18:55pm
Try some saw palmetto.
|
Aflex
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 1
to Forcefan Posted: 02-14-07 06:07am
Dear, forcefan. I actually understand the
difficulties you have been exprienced. I
can advice you to read and try "taoist
secrets of love" by mantak chia. You can
try google to find that book. From me I
have to notice that I had some experience
with my wife after reading that book. And
"tao" is a powerful instrument to improve
not just your health of body and also it
works with you mind. So, if you are
interested try to read and practice some
of the tao secrets. It can really help.
But this way of treatment demands time and
patience. For me I combine this method
with pills such as cialis or viagra
(actually I buy them at http://www.Edselected.Org - good
and stable pharmacy online) cause I have
not so strong and hard penis. But after
having some practice in tao I can satisfy
my wife enough. So, I wish you good luck
and patience. Don't give up!
|
Kimitek
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 02-16-07 14:53pm
Hey forcefan,
was the reason why your wife cheated on
you sex related? Why do you have to try
hard to please her?
|
ForceFan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2007 Posts: 13
Posted: 02-17-07 18:58pm
kimitek
wrote:
hey forcefan,
was the reason why your wife cheated on
you sex related? Why do you have to try
hard to please her?
all I know is that for 12.5 years I didnt
have this problem. After my wire cheated
on me it started happening. Its like I
am now under pressure to perform. Im
under pressure in my mind to be great in
bed. My wife can come up to me and just
say something sexual in nature to me and I
will get an erection. Alot of times I
will be just fine right up until the time
it comes to penetration and I will get
nervous and anxious to the point of
shaking. I loose my erection.
This really sucks because like I have
already said, my marriage is really doing
good now except for this. My wife has
fallen in love with me all over again but
I stay depressed because I know I have
this problem. I really want to take
advantage of this new love we have. I
have so much I want to do sexulally with
my wife now and I feel like I cant because
of this.
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