Don't Know What's Going On Anymore. Posted: 02-09-04 17:36pm
Hi, i'm new here and was wondering if
anyone can help.
I have no idea how things are anymore and
I was wondering if anyone here could give
me some advice.
I am 28yrs old and since being 14yrs old I
have thought myself as being a depressive
and in my teen years I turned to alcohol
and drugs to escape these low feelings.
I have tried suicide twice because of
feeling so bad, but failed both times.
I have been on and off medication for nine
years treating depression and I can never
imagine myself off the treatment
forever.
I now have two children and have been
diagnosed with pnd after both.
I have been admitted to hospital because
of my depression, but I feel that since
being discharged am left alone to deal
with things myself without much being
sorted out.
I feel let down and also confused, like
the doctors don't seem not to understand
my feelings at all.
Sometimes I can feel very well and so
happy and I want to plan things, and do so
many things, nothing seems impossible.
Although I don't actually get round to
doing many of these plans i've made
because by the time I do, I feel so, so
low again, and it's like these thoughts I
had, I can't even believe I felt that
happy and have so much energy to want to
do them.
The plans aren't out of the ordinary, just
things like:-
going to art college- to study design
travelling the world
going on holiday
going out to pubs and clubs
i don't actually go on spending spree's,
which confuses me about bipolar disorder.
I have racing thought's and feel so
excited and full of energy about all these
excellent things i'd like to do.
I then can feel very, very low and
sucidal. The depression always lasts
longer, infact nearly all the year as it
seems. But sometimes I have a week where
I feel so good and happy.
I feel very confused with this and I was
wondering if you thought this is
depression or bipolar disorder.
The depression always seem to overtake the
happy times.
When I was in hospital they never really
asked many questions or anything, I was
mainly there to rest.
I feel so lost, I hope you can help, and I
apologise for this post being so long.
Thanks for your time xx
|
mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Posted: 02-09-04 22:08pm
Hi
i'm sorry your having such a hard time.
I don't know about the medical care system
in the uk, but i'm sure they have public
health services there. If you do have
insurance and can see a doctor, you need
to be under the care of a doctor on a
regular basis. If you don't have access,
as I said before, there must be some sort
of public health program, and you need to
see them. The fact that you already have
a long history at such a young age,
suggests that this is something that is
not going to go away.
I am not sure from your description that
you are bi-polar. But having just
depression is very serious. It seems
from your description, that you just don't
know what feeling normal and good is like.
If you were on an effective drug therapy
you might feel like making plans and going
places all the time. You would feel like
going to the park with your kids and going
to pubs with your friends.
Please seek help, you need a good doctor
who will listen to you. Find someone who
really listens to what you have to say,
and say what you are thinking. Take
notes about how you are feeling at
different times and take them with you
when you go.
Good luck
mia
|
tammys.
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jan 2004 Posts: 2
Posted: 02-11-04 12:48pm
Dear rainbow,
my 20 year old daughter was diagnosed with
bi polar just over a year ago. This
comes after many years of not knowing what
was really wrong with her. The problem
was that we kept taking her to her
pediatrician who had been taking care of
her since she was a baby. What she
really needed was to be seen by a mental
health specialist. Her pediatrician
kept treating her for depression which
only made her manic -depressive episodes
worse. Be diligent. Get yourself to a
mental health specialist. They will
diagnose your condition. Try not to
diagnose yourself. However, once they
have reached a diagnosis, educate yourself
as much as possible. This has helped our
family a great deal. We are wishing you
the best.
Tammys.
|
mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Rainbow Posted: 02-11-04 14:56pm
Hi,
it's mia again. After reading over my
post I realized I did not specify seeing a
pshychiatrist verses just a regular
doctor. It is extremely important to see
a mental health specialist, as they are
the ones who keep up with the newest, best
treatments for depression and bi-polar.
And once you have a diagnoses, do as the
person before me said, educate yourself
about the disease. Once you understand
it, it is always much easier to handle.
And rememeber that you should be an active
participant in your own health care
process. And it is up to you to take
care of yourself. That includes getting
7-8 hours of sleep a day (best if you go
to sleep around the same time each
evening), eating at regular intervals (a
balanced nutritional diet), not doing
recreational drugs, and only consuming
alcholholic beverages if it does not
interfere with your medication and your
doctor has given an ok (and only in small
quantities). Drinking too much or too
often can set off depression and bi-polar
symptoms. And talk to your friends and
family, they should be your support
system, who better than those that love us
to provide help and support.
Good luck,
mia
|
alk30ace66
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Feb 2004 Posts: 2 Location: NY
Posted: 02-13-04 10:18am
I may not have a lot of good advice like
the last two posts, but I can tell you
that although younger, i'm experiencing
the same things.
I guess what i'm trying to say is, most
importantly, you are not alone. I am
dealing with the same thing and although I
lose hope sometimes too, I always fight
through it. I've lost sight as to why,
but its habit at this point. And I know I
can get passed this. You can too. Anyone
with this problem can. You may not be
cured but you will be able to live a
normal life. Thats what so many keep
telling me. You can be happy, for a long
time, longer than a week. And you will.
You need to make a decision though. Do
you want to feel like you do right now?
If you do this half heartedly, you wont
get there. And if you give up after a
relapse, you wont get there. You need to
do everything you can that is known to
make this better and even if you get no
results for a long time, keep working it.
Do not give up. This is my first relapse
since I started my meds. It was rough.
It shakes your confidence, but just from
reading your story I am reminded of all
the others I have talked to that are going
through this same thing and I know that
i'm not alone. Just that makes me feel
better. Get books on the subject, every
book you can get your hands on, one at a
time and learn about this. You can and
will feel better. Find a mental health
specialist that listens and be honest with
yourself and the doctor. Although you
will laugh I envy you in a way because I
wish I had the one thing that I know would
keep the thoughts of ending it away. You
have kids. You have to be here for them.
Everyone in my life is old enough and
detached enough to be able to reason away
my wanting to go. No matter what, your
children will never understand. And you
have no idea how much they will miss you
if you are gone. We are all different but
we all have one thing in common. We all
have this spirit inside that gives us the
energy to keep fighting. To keep getting
up, even if its just to get knocked down
again. You can do this, because
eventually, this wont be able to knock you
down again. And in time, it will turn
into a speed bump, and then a pebble in
the road. And the longer you fight, in
the future, your children will see that
you are a fighter, that you got through
this. It will show them that they can
fight through anything. And once you
start, this all seems monotonous and slow.
Keep working it. Keep learning about it.
Spend your time when your depressed or
have nothing to do reading about this.
You will see that you can feel normal and
good. Hope is so important. And you need
to first, get with a good mental health
specialist and then work on your hope.
You can do this, we all can.
I am always available for others like me,
and if you want to talk more, please email
me. Alk30ac
e66@yahoo.Com
|
mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Alk30ace66 Posted: 02-13-04 21:48pm
Who said you don't have any good advice?
That was great, whether you're younger or
not. Good luck to you as well, and take
your own advice, it always gets better!
Best to all
mia
|
Joan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 13
Information In the Uk That Can Help Posted: 02-16-04 21:36pm
I know of something that could help you
with your depression. It is available in
the uk. If you would like to know more
e-mail me and I could share that with
you.
