Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 10 Location: California
So Afraid I Am Sterile, I Must Be. Posted: 02-14-07 17:47pm
Hi I posted elsewhere and got no response.
Please anyones comments would be very
much appreciated.
I am 30, female, married 6 mos. My
everday worry, taking up all my thoughts
is, I am so sure I am sterile. Problem is
I have no med. Ins. And cant afford to
go to fertility specialist to have all the
tests done to prove that.
Why do I think I am? My history is that
at 17 I became pregnant and I was so
scared and ashamed I regret this decision
daily since the moment it occured,
actually since before it happened while I
was even contemplating it. It's scary how
fear can control a person and make them do
the most horrific things. I am not
judging anyone I am speaking from my own
pain.
Immediately after abortion (within an
hour) I began to experiense intense pain,
almost fainting from it. I was bleeding
badly, and the scary part is that I could
feel and almost hear popping sounds, like
my insides were literally exploding
(belly). I had feeling deep down that
this can't be normal, but I just didn't
know where to go, didn't want to ever go
back to the clinic, so stupidly I ignored
this problem and it stopped after an hour
or so, I can't remember anymore.
For the next year my boyfriend and I
tried to get pregnant (selfish I know, we
were both so sad, my emotional pain and
the void I felt was intense) iwanted to
die. We did not get pregnant, this was
from age 17-18.
I had had 3 partners before my
boyfriend, one night stands. During time
I was pregnant, to add to my fears I
cheated on boyfriend once, I still at time
did not know I was pregnant, and then had
symptoms of std, I had pain during
intercourse, itching, burning during
urination, no relief. (i know I made a
lot of stupid choices I don't know why).
I was tested at this time for std's I
can't remeber which, anyways I was told
they were negative. So after a year of
trying and nothing, we broke up and I
began an 8 1/2 year monogamous
relationship, we always had unprotected
sex, I secretely hope I would get
pregnant, we always used the pull out
method, but still I never got pregnant!
So now I am sure I am sterile, I have to
be, I have lived such a risky lifestyle
that everything points to me having had an
std that was undected and/or led to pid,
or I think the abortion itself, cause of
the exploding feeling in my belly.
After that relationship ended I had
several short term sexual partners, never
using protection, I was very self
destructive, saw no future ahead, so I
just kept making terrible and dangerous
choices.
I finally tested for chlamydia,
gohnorrea, and hiv at 27 and they were all
negative. I just can't help if sometime
between 17 and 30 I may have had an std
and it just went away on it's own after
many years?? Can an std lie dormant for 7
or 10 years and still show up on tests, or
would it eventually clear up on it's own,
after doing it's damage silently??
I hope this is not toooo long, sorry I
just felt knowing my whole history would
help.
I am now a happily married, born again
christian. I want so badly to have babies
one day soon. I just doubt that anything
less than a miracle would make that
possible.
Also has anyone out there had any of the
std's that can make you infertile/ become
infertile and still conceived and
delivered????? Would ivf be an option???
At what point do you go from infertile to
sterile???
Sorry I will stop now.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 02-14-07 21:13pm
Ok, I will address the medical insurance
issue. You want a baby very badly, but
you should have medical insurance before
you get pregnant. You will need a doctor
during your pregnancy and during your
labor. Your baby will also have to see a
doctor after it is born. So you could
always try to get insurance first, then
see a fertility specialist since you would
need the health coverage for the baby
anyway. If you can't afford any health
coverage, it might be difficult to afford
a baby.
In the meantime, did you talk to anyone at
the clinic about infertility? You
mentioned getting tested for stds there,
but you might be able to find out some
more about infertility from them too if
you haven't already. You might be able to
talk to someone at a place like family
planning or planned parenthood. They
should be able to answer at least some
questions you have about fertility.
Ivf certainly might be an option, but that
is something you would probably have to
talk to a fertility specialist about.
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monkeygirl22
Supporter
Joined: 20 Nov 2006 Posts: 2420 Location: ,
Thanks: 11
Thanked:1
Posted: 02-14-07 21:20pm
First of all, you can't be sure that you
are infertile. Do you know anything about
ovulation and timing of sex. You don't
get pregnant unless you have sex around
your fertile times and sometimes not even
then. Don't stress yourself out till you
are sure there is reason to worry. I am
ttc as well. There are plenty others out
there like you. I think you need to do
lots of research first. Work on getting a
good job with group health insurance
before you start trying. You don't need a
baby if you can't afford health insurance.
I am not trying to be mean, i'm really
not. I just think you should think things
through a little better.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-14-07 22:23pm
If you are sterile - and there's no way to
tell until you get insurance and go to a
doctor - it was most likely due to
complications that you ignored after the
abortion. There may be other causes,
possibly from an std but those show up on
tests quickly; the slowest is hiv, and
even that comes up after 6 months.
Please, get some insurance!
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faithhope777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 10 Location: California
Thank You So Much For Your Caring Replies. Posted: 02-15-07 13:57pm
I first of all want to thank you all for
respoonding to my post. It is healing to
know that others are going through the
same worries, and that we can all come
together here and support eachother.
I want to clarify my situation. I
actually am still not in the process of
ttc. I just am so worried now that I am
married, just 6 mos, and know that we both
want to have children in the future.
It is actually a worry I have had since
the abortion, immediately afterwards, but
for one reason or other, to be honest I
just didn't want to face reality, which I
know is the worst thing you can do.
My husband and I just moved from hawaii
to california, we are staying with my
parents for several months to help them
fix up their house, and also to provide
them with emotional support they
desperately need right now (long story).
Once we have fixed up their home we plan
to move to tennesse.
So until then, our life is on hold. I
absolutely agree on having a good job and
health insurance.
We wouldn't embark on ttc. Until we are
finally settled, have a home, insurance,
and good, stable jobs, we already have
excellent opportunities waiting for us in
tennesse.
I went to planned parenthood, and I
know they are extremely busy there, but I
was very dissapointed although I can't say
surprised by their attitude. They
completely dismissed my worries. Even
seemingly very annoyed by my questions,
like they were thinking, "hey you just
paid for a urine test and pap smear, don't
expect anything more"
I told the nurse practioner ( they do
not actually have Dr. There apparently),
about my abortion and the syptoms
afterward. As well as the fact that we
tried to conceive for 1 year afterward,
the only thing she said to me, matter of
factly was, " the syptoms you had after
the aboriton had nothing to do with the
abortion." that's it, all she said about
that. How could she possibly say that say
assuredly? It makes no sense. It is
obvious, I had never had syptoms like that
in my life, then one hour after abortion
I had them.
I also told her about the risky sexual
behavior I had had for the last 13 years
of my life, unprotected sex, never got
pregnant and how I was scared I may have
had an std that was undected ,
untested,that developed into pid, also
undetected, and that could have damaged
my reproductive organs.A
this is what she said, " you would know
if you had pid, it is so painful it would
hospitalize you." I have heard otherwise,
that it can be silent just like the std's
that can cause it.
I have researched infertility alot on
the internet and forum discussions. I
know nothing will ever truly calm me until
I get fertility testing. I am jus
reaching hoping I will hear what I want to
hear.
Thank you so much for letting me pour
out my sadness, I have been filled with
guilt and sadness ever since my abortion,
and now ifear I will be haunted forever
not being able to ever conceive again.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-15-07 15:10pm
Pid is the silent sterilizer, I have heard
and learned of this. Hopefully, once you
get everything sorted out, you can get
some definitive answers. Until then,
there isn't much you can do except relax
and enjoy your life!
i wish you a lot of luck.
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BabyFutak
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 236 Location: ,
Posted: 02-15-07 15:51pm
I know the feeling hun I am right there
with ya except my abortion was only about
2 years ago I fear the same thing. My
abortion was for medical reasons and I
took the pill but I have the same fears as
you. I am recently married (almost 6
months) and we have been trying for almost
8 months and nothing yet so I know your
pain if you ever need to talk just message
me.
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Mandee086
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Mar 2007 Posts: 5
Re: So Afraid I Am Sterile, I Must Be. Posted: 03-25-07 06:54am
I feel for you!!!..me and my boyfriend
have been trying for a baby several months
bow, problem is he has a low sperm count,
(ive posted this problem actually), i
never really hear of a guy's case, that he
cant produce, i hear more of a womens
case,,and actually my boyfriends sister
and my aunt were told they could not have
kids, but they each both have 2 kids right
now!! I am so happy for them. I know women
can take F. pills...but what about a guys
case?!?! anyone ever have this problem?!?!
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 03-28-07 11:28am
have you tried to chart your
ovulation?have you payed attention to your
periods? a friend of mine has tried to get
pregnant ever since she was 13.she never
used a condom but did not have a child
until just a month or so ago,and she is
now almost 29.don't lose hope.chart your
periods and ovulation and when you get
insurance go to the doctor.good luck!
