I was molested when I was younger, and
ever since then I have resorted to cutting
myself when I get mad. I did it when I
was like 15-16..But I stopped. Now when I
get really mad I just wanna cut myself and
I know its not what I need to do, so why
do I have this strong desire to?
Everytime I get really angry, I just want
to kill myself sometimes. I also have low
self confidence. Whats goin on?
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lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-16-07 13:50pm
I've felt like that for yrs too and with
cutting it's all a "mind over matter"
thing. Oyu need to tell yourself that
you have the willpower to not cut. It's
hard sometimes. Trust me, but it will be
better for you and anyone you care about
in the long run.
I need to think about how I will explain
my scars to my son when he is older and
notices them. Sucks.
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-16-07 13:52pm
Whats up renee. First I gota say you
really gota pinpoint whats making your so
angry. If its the past then you gota
find a way to cope with it weather it be
totaly confronting it or comming to a
realization. My ex girlfriend was
molested when she was young and I know how
frustrating and confusing it can be. I
belive you can get ahold if it and really
break though the pain. It takes alot of
work and paitence but its possible.
Cutting is bad, im a major offender and
its a hard thing to deal with but you can
get past it. As I got older I realized
that its just something you shouldnt
do....When my parrents see me with my
shirt off or cutoff's(i dont wear shorts)
they alwasy hurt and I can see. My mom
especially. Over time you will realize
that its not the way to feel
better...Theres other healthy outlets.
Im looking forward to you posting again
and hearing more possibly..Plz dont be shy
there are so many great people here...This
is the place to vent ^_^
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renee06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Memphis
Posted: 02-16-07 15:55pm
Thank you. Yeah, I thought I was the only
one with terrible scars on my arm. I'm so
self concious about them. I just hate
when people are like 'what happened to you
arm?'. I don't know what to tell them.
What do you guys say? Lol. I know i'm
not just completely messed up in my head.
I just hate it when I get really mad and
that thought of wanting to cut myself
comes through my head. I know I shouldn't
but sometimes I do anyway. And also, when
my boyfriend and I fight I just want to
keep persisting. I don't know why, but
he's broken up with me and i'm trying to
fix it so we can be happy again. I keep
persisting when I know he doesn't want it
and I know it will only makes things worse
but I can't help it!
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-16-07 16:08pm
Hi again reenee. By the way you can help
it! I promise...It just takes practise.
You really gota try your hardest to
alwasy be aware of what your saying, whats
going on and whats the cause of the
situation. Thats the hardest part of
being someone that does something out of
impluse...You gota make sure you alwasy
aware of whats going on.
For me and my scars...They are
unavoidable. I have 6 extremely large
leasons on my right upper arm and a very
very bad one that runs parrel down my
forearm...I lost alot of blood on that
one. On my other arm I have numerous
burns including ciggartes, stoves and
other things. On my torso I have a very
large scar across my stomach where I tried
to cut open my stomach, I also have ones
on my ribs and side. My scars are
there....And when you see them you know
something was going on.
Scars on arms arnt that bad, the worst are
my hands. My hands are very torn up from
cuts, puching wallks, scraping my knuckles
on things, fighting and what not....And
these I cant hide.
For work I have to alwasy wear long sleve
shirts and have to make sure my wrists
arnt show....Its very anoying on hot days
and what not.
Like I said before the best thing
to do is really be aware of why you are
mad or upset and what you can do to
resolve it...In a realistic way. If you
get in a fight with your ex calm down and
wait a day to talk about it. If your
feeling angry sit down and just think
"whats making me angry" is it something I
can resolve myself? Or do I have to get
help?
There are many paths and cutting is not
the way....I speak from experience and
being hospitalized many times for it. To
this day I still have crazy urges to do
so....But I just call up my mom, plan a
dinner date, aftewards make sure im around
positive people...Thast the key.
^_^
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renee06
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 20 Location: Memphis
Posted: 02-17-07 15:01pm
Thank you so much. I thought I was the
only one..
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Color of Paper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Jan 2007 Posts: 171 Location: Long Beach, Ca
Posted: 02-17-07 23:34pm
Something to remember. Its hard being
human because we think we deal with our
pain on our own. There are so many other
people in this world not only going
through what we are but worse. We are
very small and very insignificant, we are
nothing compared to the wide view of life
in genral. Dont stress to much
seroiusly.....Your not alone and you have
people that think about you every day.
Stay up ^_^
