First of all this whole thing starts off
because I am gay or bisexual. Never said
that before until now but so be it.
I am 18 and throughout all of my life I
have hidden.
Throughout high school I went to every
party, did every drug, and had sex with
every girl that I could trying to fit in
and hide all that I was. I actually had
the same girlfriend for three years and at
one point she was even pregnant(thats when
I got really scared and confused).
First my parents would never accept it and
would throw me out of my house so I will
not be open about it so please dont ask.
But my problem is now that I am older and
in college I would like to start a
relationship I guess, and either way
wouldn't hurt me. But now I am afraid to
and have actually started fearing sexual
encounters. I used to look at gay
pornography but have tried not to suppress
that and keep it locked away. It has
gotten to the point where I want to be
sexually active or maybe even start a
relationship but getting aroused is
difficult because I hate it so much.
Has anyone ever felt like this? I know if
you have you probably wouldn't admit it,
but I was just pulling to see if anyone
else had something like this hoping I
wasn't alone.
|
Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 02-18-07 18:15pm
No, I have never felt that way, but I
doubt that you alone. You could always
look into counseling. Colleges often
have someone that you can talk to free.
I would highly recommend it. Issues like
that can get worse if they're not worked
through.
