Depression Forum - New... Need Help With the Wife.

Hey i don't really know where to start here but ill give it my best shot so here it goes... I met my wife about 3 years ago in a military tech school our relationship developed due to the fact that nether one of us really had anyone there other than each other. We enjoyed each others company and really liked each other once our school was done we arranged it so we would be based at the same location so we could continue our relationship.

When i first met her i sorta noticed that she had depression problems and she told me how she was on antidepressants before she joined in but was not on them anymore; the high school kid in me told me to get away but i had feelings for her and i could tell she felt the same, so i stayed in the relationship.
About a year and a half later she got pregnant, but before this she would have huge mood swings... around that time she told me that she was bipolar before she joined the military, i had no clue what that meant but i was finding out the hard way.

I had a hard time really being there for her due to the fact that the way i was raised through my childhood was in a way where i wasn't use to having people be there for me so i didn't know how to be there for her. This didn't help much while she was pregnant because almost 2 years later she still tells me how i was never there for her... i have told her how its hard for me, and when i do try to be there for her i get pushed away or put down. A quick example was for X-mas i went to the mall with money that i had made over some Internet transactions that she didn't know about, i put a lot of thought and time in picking out the gift that i got her (neckless and ring). We were at her family's house and i wanted to give it to her with out all them around, when i gave it to her she looked at it closed the box and said "I don't like it" and put it back in the bag, and i felt like caca. I was going to take it back but i guess she started liking and and started to wear it while we were still there... i had a hard time seeing her wear it because of her reaction and i have pretty much promised my self to never get my hopes up when getting her anything.

We will have a good week followed by a rough hour and she will start to pull the divorce card, i know she does it because she knows it gets to me but i don't this she will, she has been saying this for the past year. Now she is pregnant again with our 2nd and I'm doing my best to be there and things will go well then she will snap and all hell breaks loose. She will verbally attack me and i will do the same to her to defend my self the the divorce card comes out...

We tried to get help from a counselor, the counselor asked her is she wanted to stay with me and she said no and the counselor said well i can't help yall, and here i am 2 years later still with her. I try to talk to her about this and she just gets angry and says its my fault and she only blames her self for marring me.

I have told her that she needs to go to the doctor about her mood swings but she blames me. Her family has a history of depression all down her mothers side... her sister is a wreak and has been in and out off hospitals due to suicide attempts (for attention).