Thoughts of Hurting Someone Posted: 02-22-07 14:28pm
hi,
My whole life, my father has been a lazy,
selfish, cowardly, mean, ungrateful,
problem. I can easily think of 100 times
he was mean, or let me down, or was
cowardly in the past few years.
I'm normally a peacefull person, and i
love animals, and i get along with other
people great, but i dont know whats going
on, I dont have these thoughts againts
anyone else besides my father.
This morning, just a half an hour ago, i
was making myself some breakfast, of
pancakes and hashbrowns, some of my
favorite stuff, and all of a sudden i just
started getting angry, and i started
shaking, and i felt rage towards my
father, i lost my appetite, and now i feel
sick and want to vomit, i have 3 pancakes
and a good sized set of hashbrowns that
are sitting out.
I have thoughts of hurting, yelling at,
and killing my father, I have an urge to
cut myself (which i have never thought of
doing or have done) and I am very
depressed. I used to get depressed at
night and start crying for no reason, get
this feeling of "not being there" mentally
while and after being depressed.
I dont want to be instatutionalized, or
incarserated, but I dont know what to do,
because if i talk to a counsellor, thats
where ill be headed.
so what are my options? I'm fifteen, I
work on weekends, have high hopes and
dreams, I'm pretty spiritual, i meditate,
i practice buddhism (but cant really bcome
buddhist because of these thoughts and
feelings). Is there a categorey for what i
am experiencing?
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blulyneguy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 334 Location: Idaho,
Seek Help Posted: 02-22-07 14:40pm
What you describe sounds pretty normal to
me. I would go talk to someone, a friend
or relative you trust and see where that
gets you. A counselor will not call the
cops or lock you up because you have these
feelings. They can help you work through
them. Good luck!
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Stan
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Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1652 Location: ,
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Posted: 02-22-07 23:17pm
I say this all the time but that sounds
exactly like a low blood sugar reaction.
Any other symptoms? Has anything ever
happened during your life like weird
fainting spells or severe, flu-like
sensations even though you don't have a
temperature?
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joe_sawicki
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 3 Location: tucson
Posted: 02-23-07 11:57am
Yes, I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia,
but I usually I get a headache if I'm low
on sugar. I sometimes feel faint when I
stand up, or stretch too, is that related?
I do get VERY short tempered and angry,
when I'm low aswell.
What can I do to keep a good sugar level,
carbs and protein? (dont they breakdown
into sugar?)
Thanks
-Joe
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Stan
Supporter
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1652 Location: ,
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Posted: 02-23-07 14:27pm
Yeah, good thing you figured that out.
Essentially you're getting like this
because your hypoglycemia is getting
worse. You can post here for others'
knowledge if you like or PM me, but
regardless send me a list of what you
currently eat and I'll tell you why it
sucks. Do you still have your test
results? If I have those I can better
figure out how you need to eat.
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Stan
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Posted: 02-23-07 14:30pm
And oh yeah, the standing and stretching
thing is a symptom. You're not doing
something right.
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joe_sawicki
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 3 Location: tucson
Posted: 02-24-07 01:53am
I do not have my results, but I remember
my doctor said I was just barely
hypoglycemic at the time (about 6 months
ago). The other day when I was freaking
out, I didn't eat anything.
I will keep a log of what I eat for the
next three days, I'll include how I feel
at certain times of the day too.
Is that cool?
-Joe
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Stan
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Posted: 02-24-07 08:51am
Sounds fine man, and it also sounds like
your doctor doesn't have a clue. I got
the same reaction from mine, even though
it revealed my sugar was going up and
down. The problem is that there isn't a
standard for hypoglycemia. Doctors
usually base the results on understandings
of diabetes, which is completely
different. For that disease, low is
usually below 50mg. However, in
hypoglycemia, it's not just the level of
the drop, but the speed. Mine used to
drop 30mg in a half hour, which is too
much of a strain on the brain. If you
could get those results and tell me it
would help, because then I could see what
kind of curve your body has.
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SimeonCross
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Feb 2007 Posts: 22 Location: S. California
Posted: 03-04-07 17:58pm
Your rage that you are talking about is in
many of us. It is me at times in my life
towards all different people. You are in
the exact right place to talk about this.
I am not sure what diagnoses a therapist
would recommend for you. I have bipolar
disorder and OCD. I am also an alcoholic
and addict. All of these contribute to my
rage.
I can suggest to you to seek some
professional help. Rage is poisionous.
It never helps anything or anyone. From
seeking help on it who knows where it will
lead in helping your life.
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ocdengineer
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 48 Location: SA, TX
Pure O Posted: 03-05-07 20:49pm
Joe,
I have Pure O which is a form of obsessive
compulsive dissorder where the obsessive
thoughts rule you and there are no
compulsions. The thoughts however cause
great pain and anxiety. I also meditate
to help and if you practice meditation and
mindfulness that will help you a lot. I
would also say get away from your father
since he seems like a catalyst to your
problems, but you are too young to do much
on that front. I would suggest you talk
with a therapist. OCD runs in families
and there is a good chance that the anger
you feel towards your father is a result
of him having the same dissorder as you.
In his day this kind of thing wasn't
talked about and he may be hiding the same
secret that you are sharing with us now.
Anyway, I also have Pure O and it is
genetic. It will come and go throughout
your life. I would suggest you try Kava
for your anxiety. It is a very safe herb
that helps you relax and takes away some
of your anxiety. The rage can be
controlled through mindfulness. Check out
www.buddhanet.net
and download some of the books on
mindfulness. I think it will really help
you get a firm grasp on the practice. If
you can practice mindfulness then anger
becomes a thing of the past. If you get
older say in your twenties and this is
still an issue you may want to consider
medication. At this point maybe some
counceling, Kava, and mindfulness
meditation will probably get you by. I
feel you, man. My father was a caca when
I was young too.
