Need Help With Child That Is a Compulsive Lier Posted: 02-23-07 13:53pm
We have recently adopted and 8 year old
child that I worry is a compulsive liar.
We have been raising her for 2 years and
despite all our efforts, this problem is
not getting better. Most times her lies
are automatic and about very small things
that she would not get into trouble for.
But lately we have noticed the lies have
also become deliberate as in you will ask
a question and she will pause before she
ansewers with a lie. You can tell during
the pause she is deciding what she will
say. We have tried every thing we can
think of to stop this behavior. Various
forms of punishments, we have talked about
right and wrong, that God wants us to be
truthful, that she will (and has) loose
friends because they can not trust her, we
have read scripture together, we have
talked about how a person is only as good
as their word, we have even go so far as
to reward her for being truthful! Yet this
problem persists and seems to be getting
worse. Her birth mother and father are
compulsive liars, at first we thought this
was a learned behavior and once she
settled into a stable safe home she would
stop. We have talked to her Sunday school
teacher and asked for help, we have talked
to her therapist. There are many days
where we will catch her as many as 5 lies.
At this point it seems as though lying is
a habit for her. When caught she will cry
and say she is sorry but turn right around
and do the same thing and say the same lie
again. What can we do to stop this
behavior? Any advise you can give would be
appreciated.
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Stan
Supporter
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1652 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-23-07 14:32pm
What sort of punishments have you tried
thus far?
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peggyeis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 7 Location: Minnesota
Posted: 02-28-07 14:39pm
Our son does the same thing as a by
product of having aspergers syndrome. He
also has lost many friends when they find
out. And let me tell you these lies are
totally outrageous. He has just started
to go to therapy for this. Good luck.
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futurelovers
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2007 Posts: 101
Posted: 03-05-07 12:38pm
Instead of punishing her, why not ask her
this question and just leave her alone?
"Why do you say the things you say?" or
"Why do you do the things you do?"
Maybe she will think about why she's doing
that and will tell you that she's afraid
of something. That will be a good start.
