Teen Pregnancy Forum - Is This Normal?


Is This Normal?

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kriquette317

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Is This Normal? Posted: 02-24-07 21:39pm


Hey all, It's been awhile since I posted so I will re-introduce myself. I'm 18 years old, living with my boyfriend's grandparents, and am between 3-4 months pregnant. I am still with the father, for now. But that's a seperate issue. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I've had this sense of basically that's it, everything's over. I keep having these thoughts of I do not want it. I can't even take care of myself right now, so why would I bring a baby into that? My boyfriend is the one who wants it, but he has no job and isn't stable or reliable himself. I get the feeling that I will end up raising it on my own. I do not want that. I need to go to school so that I don't end up working dead end jobs for the rest of my life. I don't know. I don't want to basically end up taking out on the baby. Yes, I made a choice. Yes, I should have thought about it beforehand. If my boy wasn't around, there's a very good chance I would have gotten an abortion (the pill, never the surgical. I do object to that.), but he is, for now. I'm considering adoption, so that it would go to people who want it, and could care for it far better than I ever could. I don't know. He has a say in that, and he would never go for it. But like I said, I don't want to keep something I would resent. My mother did it to me and my brother, keeping us though we would have been better with my father, just to get back at him, and I don't want to do it my this child. So my question is, is it normal to feel this way? Will the feelings change? I'd also love to hear from mothers who did have children young, chose to raise them, and accomplished what they wanted to see if it's really possible. Any responses would be appreciated.

Sandbox Party

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Posted: 02-24-07 23:36pm


its hard to say. SOme people are cold and heartless and couldnt care less about a life they brought into this world. Others take one look at the baby and cry and immediately fall in love and wonder why they ever had those insane thoughts in the first place. Hopefully you're the latter. Good luck, as you are the only one that can decide how you feel. Beware tho... some people here dont take kindly to people who outright say they'd rather of had an abortion. Guys please dont let this topic get out of hand. ~pwease??~

mommyto3soontobe4boys

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Posted: 02-25-07 00:32am


First off I would like to applaude you on your honesty about your thoughts/feeling about your situation. I am not one for abortion, however I do understand that in certain situations it can mean the life or death of the mother and the baby if not preformed. I can say though that from a few friends of mine that have been adopted and they went on latter in life to meet their birth parents they were alot better off financially and probably emotionally as well as living in a more stable enviroment with their adopted parents. My advise to you would be this, if you have felt this way the entire time you have known that you were pregnant you may be better off telling your boyfriend almost in the same way you told us how you feel about the situation and let him know that you feel the baby would be better off in a adoptive family rather than with you all at this point in your lifes. I would give it about 30 days of hardcore thought time before I said anything to your boyfriend about this and make sure that this is truely how you feel and also you should let him know that you can arrange a open adoption if you did decide to adopt the baby out and you can arrange for the adoptive parents to send you a picture every month as well as a letter to update you on how the baby is doing, this might make the choice a little easier for him to make knowing this, if he realy cares about the babies future ect. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck with what ever path you take. chrystal

Mother_Without_Child

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Posted: 02-25-07 05:07am


kriquette317 my best friend felt the same way you do now . She chose to keep her son. Yes she drop out of school 18years old But now has Gotten her Grade 12 and is going to college this year to become a Early Childhood education Teacher. She put her Life aside for a bit but is so happy to see her little one running around play at that day care where she him in so she could go back to school. Unlike My self i was so happy to be pregnant at 19 (lost the baby) . So when i found out i was, i quit school only need 4 credits to get my grade 12 and waited till Last sept to finish getting them. So Yes the choice is up to you. But Wait till you hear your lil ones heart beat and you will fall madly in love with s/he

kriquette317

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a Bit Long, But An Update. Lol Posted: 03-18-07 11:58am


Thanks for the advice guys. I have done some thinking, and when all is said and done, I do want to keep my baby. I realized this first when my bf's mom made a comment about if I thought I was taking her grandbaby out of the state, I had another thing coming. (He and I were going to try to make a better start for ourselves and the baby by moving to IL by my dad. That worked for all of a week. I went down first to basically start things, and they made it very clear that they would basically be isolating me and the baby from my bf, among other issues. So needless to say, that was not okay with me, so I came back. It did some good though. He has a job, and is getting a second one within a week. I will also be getting a job of course. And he and I have talked about me going to school still, and he supports me His family are also a whole lot willing to help us out. We are not being rushed out of the house anymore. I'm being told I need to eat better lol. It's soo much nicer.) Anyway, I took that as a threat to try to take my child from me. I got extremely defensive about it, especially since it wasn't up to her, myself and my bf already agreed what we would do. Now that I'm back, she has been really nice and all, but I'm still keeping an eye on that. Also, any plans I make about the future automatically include the baby. Without even thinking. It's weird to me. I want to buy a house with a yard now. And be in a stable environment. Before I hated staying in one place, it was like being trapped. Now it doesn't bother me. Haven't been to the doc yet to see how far I am or anything else (ins. issues), but I'm going next week hopefully. I want a girl, and he wants a boy. It's not a big deal to either of us, as long as it's healthy (and it's too big to go back!! lol j/k) I am at least about 4 months. So, I'll update again when I go to doc!!

Jules

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Posted: 03-18-07 12:24pm


I'm glad you are feeling happier in your decision. Don't worry, it's common to feel like you want things back the way they were because it's such a life-changing thing having a baby...but it can be one of the most rewarding things you could ever do. Good luck and I wish you a healthy and happy pregnancy! Keep us updated

oh_mommy

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Posted: 03-18-07 14:35pm


i just turned 18, i have a 4 month old baby and i .w.i.l.l be graduating on time, it is possible. i do my school threw a home schooling program here and im getting .a's in all my classes!

Idony

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Posted: 03-18-07 17:52pm


im 18 31 weeks pregnant on tuesday and ill be graduating on time too ive made a deal with my counselor that so long as i keep my grades up he will exempt me from finishing the last couple weeks of my classes (whatever i have to miss, due at the end of may school finishes second week of june) and exempt from the finals its very possible ~alicia~

kriquette317

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Posted: 03-19-07 10:12am


Yea, I'm getting excited. Even did some shopping this past weekend. (Sooo many cute outfits!!! Just gotta know blue or pink!! lol) I shoulda been more specific on school. I graduated from High school a semester early last year with a friend of mine so I could help her out with her baby since it was due in Feb. I'm talking about still going to college, probably for real estate, since I should be able to do most of the classes online. But in the year of being out of school, I've done food service (not the worst but didn't pay the bills), factory work (hate it!!!!), and security (boring....). I've decided I'd rather do something that interests me. It's gonna be hard, I don't doubt that. We shall see!

Kia

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Posted: 03-19-07 12:16pm


we'll be happy to be here "virtually" through your pregnancy and beyond...