hi. on friday it was my birthday, and my
boyfriend took my on a shopping spree and
did kinda of a little surprise party for
me which i thought was very sweet. i
continued celebrating my birthday with
going to the clubs with my friends.
although i would have really liked my
boyfriend to have been there, i understood
that he doesnt like to club and he would
rather hang out with his friends. so i
went to the club and he went to san
fransico with his friends. i got home and
called him to hang out with me after the
club and after he came home. when he came
over he told me that he went to a strip
club and i asked him if he got a lap dance
and he said yes. at first i didnt feel
anything but i let it sit for about a
minute and it really started to bother me.
he knew that i was bothered by it as well.
i do know that i have a really big
jealousy issue and we had discussed this
about two days ago. i told him that i
hated being jealous and i wish it would
change. i dont care if he watches porn or
talks to girls. but i feel like him going
to s strip club (without me for that
matter since he knew i really wanted to
go) and getting a lap dance is really hard
for me to handle. i wanted to work on my
jealousy issue, but i find he isnt helping
at all.
so i after he told me, i became distant. i
didnt know what to say or how to act. he
asked me whats wrong and i told him that i
just need to let it sit. i really tried to
accept it but my body rejected it. even
though he knew that there was something
wrong he told me he was gonna go home and
left. that hurt too.
this is our second fight this week and i
have been going through so much lately. i
had an abortion last thursday. it was hard
on me, i thought he would understand my
sensitivity.
i texted him how i felt. i kept it short.
i basically told him that i couldnt handle
it. and that maybe we should take a break.
i wanted the break because since the
abortion he's hurt me so much and im
really done with both my boyfriend and
trying to heal from my abortion. he
obviously causes me more distressed than
helps with my emotional problems right
now.
well i got ignored. no replies, not calls
or anything. no surprise. why? im not sure
but if i know him as well as i think i do,
he's angry with me. his excuse would be
that he's angry at me because he did all
these nice things for my birthday so i
should have no reason to be angry with
him.
it just really hurts right now. every inch
of my body hurts and i really dont know
what to do. if i call him he'll deny my
calls or he'll be really mean to me. i was
reading another post about how a girl is
bothered with her boyfriend watching porn
and she described the feeling of worthless
and it feels like its cheating and this
really does feel like that. i have been
working on my jealousy for quite some time
now, so im not trying to be unreasonable.
i think perhaps if he did this at any
other time it wouldnt have taken such a
toll on me. but he did it right after my
birthday, and right after my abortion and
right after a fight we had before. i told
him that i was sick of the way we fight,
or rather i meant that i hate the way he
fights in our arguments but i said we so
that he wouldnt feel like i was attacking
him. basically when we fight he walks out
the door, wont talk to me for 2 days then
comes back and says sorry and thats the
end of that. never really talk to problem
out and those two days that he doesnt talk
to me for are so hard on me. i like
everyting to be fixed right away and i
know i cant expect that all the time but
atleast some of the time would be nice.
especially now because this is really
fusterating me.
im SO sorry that this is so much to read
so ill stop here.
help me =(
|
JustJack
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 6
Jealousy Is Not the Issue Posted: 02-25-07 14:03pm
It's sad that you think you have a
jealousy issue. Maybe society has
conditioned girls to believe that they
need to accept guys going to strip clubs,
or hitting on other girls, but that
definitely should not be acceptable in an
exclusive relationship. Getting a lap
dance from a girl, and actually making YOU
feel bad about it is a critical flaw in
HIS personality, not yours.
Here's what you need to do: Be strong. If
you feel like you can't be with him right
now, break it off, and make it clear to
him that the only way you'll take him back
is if he fixes his act. I can understand
him looking at porn, or even checking
other girls out, because realistically,
you won't find many guys who don't, but he
was unfaithful. You can look at a naked
girl without damaging your relationship,
just make sure you're not touching. The
second he's touching other girls, or
letting girls touch him, especially
sexually, he's crossed a boundary and he's
not being faithful to you. If it hurts
you, you shouldn't be blaming yourself.
You've done nothing wrong. If you didn't
feel any jealousy, it would mean you
weren't in love.
Explain to him why what he did was wrong
(either by leaving a message on his
machine or sending him a well thought-out
e-mail), and decide to go on a break until
both of you cool off. Just clear your
mind, wait for him to talk to you, and
then decide whether or not you want to
pursue the relationship. No one hear can
tell you what choice to make. You need to
do what feels right to you -- you need to
do what makes you happy. If you don't
think he's worth it, it might be time to
find someone else. Just make sure he knows
what he did wrong.
|
Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 02-25-07 14:12pm
I agree with JustJack-you don't have a
jealousy issue, you have a jerk of a
boyfriend. Yeah, he bought you stuff and
threw a little party for you, but when it
really matters he isn't there. So he
threw money at you; maybe it was guilt,
maybe he thought he could "bargain" you
out of being upset or something.
Abortion is tough, too, it can be a big
deal. Don't let anyone minimize it,
including yourself.
I don't know you or anything, but if you
were a friend of mine I would tell you to
lose this chap.
Good luck!
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-26-07 07:56am
Disagree. He went to a strip club and
watched naked women for a while. Big deal.
It is not like he had sex with any of
them.
I would say, yes you do have jealousy
issues. You said you do not mind him
looking at porn, so what is the
difference? He can only look, there is no
touching.
You admit you get jealous, and not just
about a strip club. So whose fault is
that?? Is it your BF for making you
jealous?? Or is it you choosing to be
jealous. I think it is the latter.
Most time we choose to be jealous over an
issue. Now do not confuse insulting
behaviour with jealousy. Your BF
hitting/flirting with another woman, and
you getting mad is not jealousy IMO. It is
insulting.
You getting jealous because he mentions a
female' friends name, or something that is
no threat to your relationship is worng.
Unless he is addicted to strip clubs, what
he did no threat to your relationship. No
more than him looking at porn.
Ease up a bit.
|
Moo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 1066 Location: London
Thanks: 21
Thanked:111
Posted: 02-26-07 08:49am
Makoto
wrote:
Disagree. He went to a strip
club and watched naked women for a while.
Big deal. It is not like he had sex with
any of them.
So abandoning on her birthday - a few days
after she's been through an abortion to go
and watch strippers is perfectly fine?!
Seriously, so what if she's ok with him
watching porn, at the end of the day, the
timing of it all, he was being selfish at
a time when he should have been sensitive
to his girlfirends needs.
Also, people don't choose to
be jealous - life and experiences
condition people to be - who would serouly
choose to be jealous? No-one!
IMHO you need to concentrate on you at
the moment - yes it's always hard when we
argue/break up etc...with someone we love
but concentrate on getting yourself strong
again.
Best of luck
|
Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 02-26-07 13:52pm
Makoto
wrote:
Disagree. He went to a strip
club and watched naked women for a while.
Big deal. It is not like he had sex with
any of them.
I would say, yes you do have jealousy
issues. You said you do not mind him
looking at porn, so what is the
difference? He can only look, there is no
touching.
You admit you get jealous, and not just
about a strip club. So whose fault is
that?? Is it your BF for making you
jealous?? Or is it you choosing to be
jealous. I think it is the latter.
Most time we choose to be jealous over an
issue. Now do not confuse insulting
behaviour with jealousy. Your BF
hitting/flirting with another woman, and
you getting mad is not jealousy IMO. It is
insulting.
You getting jealous because he mentions a
female' friends name, or something that is
no threat to your relationship is worng.
Unless he is addicted to strip clubs, what
he did no threat to your relationship. No
more than him looking at porn.
Ease up a
bit.
A lap dance "isn't touching"? It's
"insulting" when you get upset that your
bf is flirting with other women?
Let's see who's being insulting and
disprectful:
Fact: He got a lap dance from a stripper.
This is disrespectful to his girlfriend.
Fact: He ignored her when she told him she
needed a break. What kind of 'nice guy'
ignores this? What kind of 'nice guy'
gets angry over this? The kind of guy
that doesn't care about her.
Fact: He walks out on arguments and won't
talk to her for days. What kind of 'nice
guy' does this?
Fact: Her emotions are running high; she
just had an abortion. What kind of 'nice
guy' goes and gets a lap dance right after
his girlfriend has an abortion?
|
babybowser
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 7 Location: san jose
Thanks Everyone For Replying Posted: 02-26-07 15:24pm
i think there's a big difference between
porn and watching live naked women dancing
in front of you, and yes there is some
strip clubs who allow touching. and for
the ones that dont, the girls are always
allowed to touch the person they are
giving a lap dance to. i really just dont
like the idea of other girls dancing on my
boyfriend naked and rubbing on him. i dont
choose to be jealous. its hard enough for
me to deal with it, i rather not be
jealous because i hate the feeling of it.
as he gets a lap dance he is checking out
this girl and also the girls on stage but
in porn like someone said, its not the
people that are in it, its the action that
is taking place. under the circumstances i
think that he was wrong. he could have
asked me knowing i have a jealousy issue,
that could have eased it. or he could have
talked to me about it before hand so i can
try to swollow the image. but i really
thought he should have respected that it
was my birthday and i kinda went through
an emotional crisis to atleast not go to
strip club at this time.
update: he finally called me and we had a
five hour talk about it. at this point im
still angry. he really doesnt want to do
this break and i made him cry. i didnt
mean to. he's not a bad guy...he just has
absolutely no common sense. he told me he
really thought it wouldnt be a big deal to
me. i cant really accept that excuse only
because he could use that for other
things.
at the beggning of our conversation he
tried taking back the lap dance. i asked
him which friend bought him one and he did
his stupid act and said "huh? what lap
dance". no one shoots themselves in the
foot like that. he's a horrible liar. i
told him that he shouldnt be making things
worse by lying to me, and after 3 minutes
of heavy debate he admited that his friend
brian bought it for him. and yes, he told
me he got the lap dance the day the day
before this conversation and then tried to
cover it up.
|
chicagocole24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 43 Location: illinois
Posted: 02-26-07 15:44pm
I personally don't mind if my boyfriend
goes to the strip clubs....ONCE IN A
WHILE.... with his friends, his friends
all have to hide it from their girlfriends
and envy my boyfriend because he can tell
me and I dont care. NOW... if it had
become a habit and happened a lot, then I
would have a problem with it. I have been
many times with him, I even bought him a
lap dance for his birthday. The thing is,
we both know that those women are there to
make money, not relationships, so Im not
worried about it. Now, I would be more
jealous if he was flirting with girls.....
This is just my personal outlook. I think
you absolutly have the right to let him
know how you feel and he needs to respect
your feeling. If you don't feel right that
he goes then he needs to respect that.
Just so you know though, you can still let
eachother have fun seperetly if you set
limits and boundries. I always tell my
boyfriend " I dont care if you look at
other girls as long as they dont catch you
looking". haha.... anyway, I also do think
it was rude that he went on your
birthday.... I would be upset too.
Sometimes guys dont think, so as long as
you tell him that it really bothered you
but dont blow it into a huge deal (because
guys tend to block out when women talk to
much...... proven fact) then watch to see
if he thinks before he acts next time.
|
JustJack
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 6
Jealousy Is Still Not the Issue. Posted: 02-26-07 20:20pm
I don't
know what the heck is going on with my
post. The beginning of each paragraph
won't capitalize. Everything is fine when
I preview it, but it's all messed up after
I post. By the way, sorry if this post
detracts from the conversation, I just
have to disagree with Makato...
Makoto
wrote:
Disagree. He went to a strip
club and watched naked women for a while.
Big deal. It is not like he had sex with
any of them.
I would say, yes you do have jealousy
issues. You said you do not mind him
looking at porn, so what is the
difference? He can only look, there is no
touching.
You'd make a terrible doing it husband if
you think you can do anything but sex. I
don't know what part of "lap dance" you
don't understand.
Quote:
You admit you get
jealous, and not just about a strip club.
So whose fault is that?? Is it your BF for
making you jealous?? Or is it you choosing
to be jealous. I think it is the
latter.
It's her boyfriend's fault for doing
something WRONG that puts obstacles in
their relationship. So then by your
ludicrous logic, you'd have no qualms with
your girlfriend getting naked for another
man, and rubbing her butt all over his
lap? Really?!
Quote:
Most time we
choose to be jealous over an issue. Now do
not confuse insulting behaviour with
jealousy. Your BF hitting/flirting with
another woman, and you getting mad is not
jealousy IMO. It is
insulting.
No. Insulting is what your ignorance is to
my gender.
Quote:
You getting
jealous because he mentions a female'
friends name, or something that is no
threat to your relationship is worng.
Unless he is addicted to strip clubs, what
he did no threat to your relationship. No
more than him looking at
porn.
I'd say choosing to watch naked women
instead of spending time with my
girlfriend ON HER BIRTHDAY, after an
ABORTION, and getting a LAP DANCE, falls
under "threat to [my] relationship".
To the poster below me: I guess it's a
matter of opinion what cheating is. In
every relationship, a couple should talk
about what they will and will not accept.
More importantly, when you love someone,
you shouldn't do anything to hurt them.
Whatever would hurt you is generally a bad
idea to do the one you love.
Last edited by JustJack on 02-26-07 20:35pm; edited 3 times in total
|
chicagocole24
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 43 Location: illinois
Posted: 02-26-07 20:24pm
he made a stupid mistake by going at the
wrong time and hopefully he learned from
it...... but he didn't cheat on her
|
Honekaur
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 02-27-07 03:51am
I agree with pretty much everyone that
when you are dating someone, getting a
lapdance at a strip club is wrong. I
don't realyl know how I feel about if my
boyfriend went to a strip club. My guy
friend (we're probably going to be dating
again soon) doesn't like going to strip
clubs and maybe went to only one or two in
his life. I'd be really mad if he got a
lap dance though! It would be insulting
to me and I'd probably make him sleep on
the couch for a good two to three
weeks....or maybe i'd kick him out of the
house for a while. As far as the
strippers go: I feel sorry for them. They
have to get naked every night and grind on
a bunch of nasty old perverts and frat
boys. And probably businessmen. Maybe
some of them like their jobs but most of
them probably can't stand it, they just
can't figure out how to make enough money
for themselves to survive. Hell, my
student loans are so high that I might
consider stripping when I have to start
paying them back! Best of luck to you!
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-27-07 05:48am
JustJack:
Why are you being so ignorant?? If you do
not agree with me that is fine. But, you
saying I would make a bad husband is
beyond your ability. You do not know me.
Next, last time I looked there was no
gender king. You might think you are
royalty, but you are more like a queen
than a king. lol.
I will agree him going to a strip club on
your BD and just after you having an
abortion is terrible. I can see why that
would upset you. And yes you have every
right to be upset. But I would not call
this jealousy.
Yes, people choose to be jealous. You
getting mad because some girl/guy is
checking out your mate is just insecurity.
As long as they are not being
disrespectful there is no need to get mad.
You BF talks to another girl, no need to
get mad. Doing so is jealousy. Which is
nothing more than trying to control your
mate's behaviour. When you get jealous you
are basically letting your lack of
confindence take over, and then you let
that try to control your mate in to acting
in ways that do not make you mad.
Maybe you should ask yourself if you have
a right to be mad? If you feel that you
have been disrespected or insulted than
you can get mad. However, I personally do
not see lap dancing as cheating. To
another person that maybe a different
story(ie JustJack). That is totally fine.
Not everyone have the same values.
However(JUSTJACK) insulting people for
having different values is nothing more
than arrogant. Basically you become what
you are trying to insult me of. lol
Quote:
i continued
celebrating my birthday with going to the
clubs with my friends. although i would
have really liked my boyfriend to have
been there, i understood that he doesnt
like to club and he would rather hang out
with his
friends
However, do not forget you went out with
your friends to a club. So he did not just
give some stuff and say good bye to you.
You went some where that he does not like
to go. So he is not totally in the wrong
here, even by your standards.
|
Moo
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 1066 Location: London
Thanks: 21
Thanked:111
Posted: 02-27-07 06:36am
In each relationship people set boundaries
of what is acceptable and what is not -
this varies and it seems that while this
woman htinks porn is an acceptable part of
their relationship, lap dances aren't.
Point is that he shouldn't have gone if
she is uncomfortable about it - how would
he feel if she was getting something
similar from some male stripper? probably
not so great!
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-27-07 06:41am
Now that he knows and accepts the terms
then yes, he would be in the wrong.
However, if this is the first time then he
is not so much in the wrong as what people
are making him out to be.
|
JustJack
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 6
Posted: 02-27-07 07:52am
Makoto: I don't see how I'm being
ignorant. Perhaps a little intolerate, but
certainly not ignorant.
Quote:
But, you saying I
would make a bad husband is beyond your
ability. You do not know me.
You know, actually reading
what I write might help you. I didn't say
you'd make a bad husband. I said IF you
think you can do whatever you want with a
girl, short of sex, and that's still being
faithful, you'd make a bad husband. Of
course, I'm strictly speaking in a
monogamous, traditional relationship. If
you want to be a semi-swinger, that's
between you and your wife, and it's not
all that common a lifestyle. Strictly
speaking about traditional relationships,
that mindset would certainly not classify
you as an ideal husband.
Quote:
Next, last time I
looked there was no gender king. You might
think you are royalty, but you are more
like a queen than a king. Lol.
Haha, your remarkable wit leaves me unable
to make a remark
By the way, you're wrong. There IS a king
of masculinity: Maddox.
Quote:
However(justjack)
insulting people for having different
values is nothing more than arrogant.
Basically you become what you are trying
to insult me of. Lol
You'll have to phrase that a little
better, because I'm not competent enough
to grasp exactly what you mean.
Regardless, I wasn't so much insulting you
for having differently values as I was
criticizing you for having a low sense of
morality and a lack of understanding about
the situation. I apologize for offending
you, retaliation makes me quite immoral as
well, and I in no way claim to be better
than you. Anyway, this is all terribly
off-topic, and I will not derail the
thread again. If you wish to discuss this,
maybe we can PM each other.
--- Does anyone know why the quote tag
keeps screwing around with my posts? This
is odd. Everything is fine when I preview.
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-27-07 09:14am
Quote:
Regardless, I
wasn't so much insulting you for having
differently values as I was criticizing
you for having a low sense of morality and
a lack of understanding about the
situation.
Low sense of morality. OMG. How single
minded. You know the Taliban used to
punish people who they thought had a "low
sense of morality". But of course you
would never consider yourself like them.
You would never force your views upon
other people, and attack them when they
have differing values. Oh wait, you did.
Just give up.
Last edited by Makoto on 02-28-07 09:02am; edited 1 time in total
|
babybowser
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 7 Location: san jose
Posted: 02-28-07 05:06am
if i didnt know better id think that
makoto is my boyfriend trying to defend
himself..lol
i really do value makoto's point of view
though. although i dont agree with the way
he views jealousy i appreciate him
stepping up being the minor in this, and
even risking on getting flamed. he's
basically my boyfriends voice.
and although would love many people to
tell my boyfriend that he is wrong, it
will not make situations better. it will
not reverse time and take what he did
back. and i dont even know if him being
profoundly wrong would make me feel
entirely better either. i guess its really
hard to explain.
he did say he's sorry and he wouldnt do it
again. but do i really want to be that
person that tells their significant other
what to do without somehow compromising?
i really dont know what is right and
wrong. i know i feel that he is wrong and
i feel hurt and i just cant shake the
image of a naked stripper dancing on my
boyfriends lap. that actually makes me
angrier that upsets me. but i dont know
where i go from here. i do think that..he
said everything that he could. so i should
ease up. i guess it will take time for me
to get my mind off of it and eventually
get over it entirely. thats the grown up
thing to do right?
he said many hurtful things in our second
fight we had yesterday. i think he just
didnt know how to handle it and kinda got
angry. although things are better, many
hurtful things were said. so adding that
on top everything else is like icing on
the cake.
i cant help but feel very low and depress.
everytime i try to forget about it and
tell myself i shouldnt be sad anymore.
just because i was out doing something
else, doesnt give him the right to go and
do something that would obviously hurt me.
i really would have rather he go clubbing
with me but i figured he's done so much
for me he should be able to hang out with
his friends. but i didnt expect him to go
to a strip club.
i would also like to understand better why
guys go to strip clubs if anyone can give
me insight to that. itd be very helpful. i
go to strip club (girl strip clubs only
and i havent been to one since ive been
with my current boyfriend) purely for the
fun of it. is it the same for guys? do
they go for fun or is there other reasons.
and reasonings for why they must have
lapdances. and do they enjoy it a little
too much?
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-28-07 09:01am
Quote:
I would also like
to understand better why guys go to strip
clubs if anyone can give me insight to
that. Itd be very helpful. I go to strip
club (girl strip clubs only and I havent
been to one since ive been with my current
boyfriend) purely for the fun of it. Is it
the same for guys? Do they go for fun or
is there other reasons. And reasonings for
why they must have lapdances. And do they
enjoy it a little too much?
So, if I understand correctly, you have
went, or still would go to a strip club,
"just for the fun of it". Why would you
think your BF would not go to a strip club
for any other reason? IMO a strip club is
just the same as porn. There is no chance
in hell anything is going to happen. There
is no touching allowed. It is all hands
off for the most part. Next, unless you
have tons of money and the will to cheat,
that stripper is not going anywhere with
you. There are a number of guys who are
trying for her, and even if you are trying
for her, you have no chance. Lastly, most
men just go there to watch. Who wants a
dirty ol stripper? No matter how good
looking she is, who knows what she has
got. Maybe nothing, maybe something bad.
These are thoughts that go through our
heads. Believe me, even if we wanted to,
there is no chance for us to get a
stripper. And for most men, we just want
to look, we do not want to do anymore than
that anyways. We got good clean GF and
wives at home, we do not want to mess that
up over a stripper that might give us the
gift that keeps on giving.
Hope that helps you.
I understand why you got mad. Would you
please tell us about your jealous issues,
if you have any. I do not think you
getting mad after all that has happened to
you recently is jealousy. However, if you
would get mad at your man talking to a
female friend of his over coffee, then
that is jealousy.
All of this is my opinion. If some one
thinks it is moral or immoral just keep
that to yourself. This is not a religious
website.
|
babybowser
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2007 Posts: 7 Location: san jose
Posted: 03-01-07 04:14am
after talking to a few of my guy friends
about why guys go to strip clubs ive
gotten 1. sexual stimulation 2.
enjoyment/entertainment 3. to check out
naked girls 4. for the love of womens
bodies etc..
i go for fun. and nothing else. and i
would not go if he has any problems with
it. its not the end of the world if i cant
go to strip clubs. i trust him as i dont
think he would cheat on me but it just
makes me uncomfortable for him to look at
strippers let alone get close and personal
with one.
i dont wanna talk about my jealousy issues
because i know theyre stupid and
unreasonable. i am working on them, but i
do need time. i wont just sit here and
tell him i dont want him to do this and
that without talking it out first. ive
gone a long way in working on my jealousy
and i know i have a lot of work to do
still. but atleast im trying. i dont like
being a jealousy person. not one bit.
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 287 Location: Japan
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-01-07 08:12am
Quote:
I go for fun. And
nothing else. And I would not go if he has
any problems with
it.
So you would go to a strip club if your BF
had no problems with it??? Correct???
Yet, you do not want your BF going to a
strip club??
Why? Is that not hypocritical or even
controlling? If you are implying that men
can not control themselves at a strip
club, but women just go for the fun of it,
that is outright sexism.
What are your reasons, and what are you
trying to say?
BTW, I do not believe that women "go for
the fun of it" while men only go for
sexual stimulation. That is just BS. Both
sexes go for the same reasons. For the fun
of it, what does that mean. I will tell
you what that means, it means the same as
it does for why men go to strip club. For
the fun of it = sexual stimulation. Do not
try to paint it any other way.
I would love for you to really explain why
you feel it is okay for you to go to a
strip club, but it is wrong for your BF
to go. Please tell me how this double
standard works logically.
