Hey Guys - Sorry 4 Da Long Post!

So I haven't been on this site for a pretty long time now. Just to give you guys a heads up...

I tried OVULEX for a month (in November/December) and I definitely saw the difference in my O-days ... had more CM and such... and ... I did get my BFP for X-Mas on December 11th 2006 (4 days before my AF was suppose to show up). I had my first appointment on January 15th, and saw my little one's heartbeat, but couldn't really see anything else, since I always have a hard time seeing anything on the ultrasounds. My hubby and I were beyond excited, and were getting ready to make plans for the great future as a family of 3. Our dreams became a nightmare when during our 2nd appointment (February 12th) the OB couldn't find the little heartbeat anymore, and after 3 different ultrasounds, they declared my baby as miscarried. The baby supposedly died right after our 1st appointment, as it never really grew in size. We were so devistated & still cannot believe this has happened to us. I know that 1 out of every 4 women have miscarriages, but you just never think it will happen to you, you know what I mean? My hubby almost fainted and got so pale that the doctor had to ask him if he needed any cold rags, because he was white as the wall behind him. Thank God he was sitting down. I didn't hear most of what the doc said to us, as I was sobbing constantly.
I had my pre-op that Wednesday (February 14th - yeah nice Valentine's Gift) where they put in a small string of seaweed (which expands while inside the cervix overnight) to help dilate naturally. It gave me such bad cramps (which is normal with something like that) that I vomitted once and cried for an hour in the bathroom. My D&C surgery was on Thursday (the next morning), and it took about 10 minutes to take everything out and another 1.5 hours to wait for me to wake up from the anasthesia drug (I hope I spelled that right). Afterwards I felt so empty and I could not stop crying and got so depressed, that I had my mom fly in from California to help us out around the house and be here to support both of us. My hubby and I talked a lot about our feelings and we still do, as we don't wanna keep anything hidden inside. Most couples do and get divorced, so the last thing I wanna do is have that on my hands.
We're going to our follow-up appointment on Wednesday (February 28th) to see if everything is all cleared out. I stopped bleeding this morning - THANK GOD! But not before I passed a pretty medium sized clot while peeing (sorry .t.m.i.) And I can't wait to have sex again, as me and my hubby just get so horny (sorry - t.m.i.) that we can't keep our hands to ourselves anymore. We're probably gonna wait 2 cycles and try again for our little nugget we lost 2 soon - as I know that it will definitely come back to us one more time all healthy and ready to be brought into this wonderful world of love we will give him/her (or them - who knows).

So we're just staying positive as I know that mid April isn't so far away after all, even though it is hard to be around my friends that are pregnant or trying to get preganant and already waiting to pee on a stick. Not that far from now - it will be M.Y. turn once again!

Thanks for letting me vent and let you know what happened. The more I talk about it the more easier it is for me to accept my situation.
So thank you for listening - or in this case reading!

Luv ya All!
~Aggie~