my father passed away on thursday, feb. 22nd. i found out i was pregnant sunday, feb. 18th. he was never informed about his future grand-baby. i'm so depressed right now. i have no idea what to do or how to feel. i'm angry w/ everyone. my father & i had a rocky relationship these past 10-yr's. he had a terrible drug habit & recently brought back his alcoholic one, too. he did this to himself. i expected it to happen, but the news of his passing was a complete shock. i can't help but to think, "for every life god gives, he takes one." this baby seems to be the light in everyone's dark, but for some reason it's not making me feel any better. i'm angry with this baby, too. i feel like an awful mother for saying that, but i'm not excited about bringing a child into this world. my boyfriend is so upset that i feel that way b/c he's so in love with our baby already. he can't wait to hold 'em & raise 'em. i don't feel pregnant, at all. i feel nothing but misery. i'm so miserable. i never answered my father's phone calls b/c i "didn't feel like dealing w/ him." i never got to tell him how much he meant to me. i never got to tell him that i forgive him & i love him w/ all of my heart. everything just hurts right now.