Pregnancy Forum - "a Life For a Life"
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"a Life For a Life"

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AuDacia

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007
Posts: 172
Location: west virginia, united states
"a Life For a Life"
Posted: 02-28-07 10:10am

my father passed away on thursday, feb. 22nd. i found out i was pregnant sunday, feb. 18th. he was never informed about his future grand-baby. i'm so depressed right now. i have no idea what to do or how to feel. i'm angry w/ everyone. my father & i had a rocky relationship these past 10-yr's. he had a terrible drug habit & recently brought back his alcoholic one, too. he did this to himself. i expected it to happen, but the news of his passing was a complete shock. i can't help but to think, "for every life god gives, he takes one." this baby seems to be the light in everyone's dark, but for some reason it's not making me feel any better. i'm angry with this baby, too. i feel like an awful mother for saying that, but i'm not excited about bringing a child into this world. my boyfriend is so upset that i feel that way b/c he's so in love with our baby already. he can't wait to hold 'em & raise 'em. i don't feel pregnant, at all. i feel nothing but misery. i'm so miserable. i never answered my father's phone calls b/c i "didn't feel like dealing w/ him." i never got to tell him how much he meant to me. i never got to tell him that i forgive him & i love him w/ all of my heart. everything just hurts right now.
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Melissa_20

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida

Posted: 02-28-07 10:16am

I'm so sorry for your loss! its absolutly normal to feel like that but you have to understand there was nothing that could be done.you had your reasons for not talking to them and they don't sound dumb to me.he knows you cared about him now,don't beat yourself up over it.maybe the whole baby thing and then your father passing is overwhelming you a bit? maybe when you start to *feel* your child you will feel dfferently about it. I'm not great with words btu I hope things get better for you.just take it one day at a time dear!!
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Zanny

Supporter
Joined: 01 Apr 2006
Posts: 2277
Location: Preston, Lancashire United Kingdom
Thanks: 42
Thanked:31

Posted: 02-28-07 10:24am

I'm so sorry hun. What you're feeling is completely normal. Please don't feel like a bad mother, because you're not. Some women don't bond with their babies til after they're born, and even then it can take a while. Don't feel like you automatically have to love your baby straight away, because you don't.. it takes time.

Just take everything a day at a time.. it will get easier hun.

<3
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Emma2

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006
Posts: 4406
Location: Montreal, Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0

Posted: 02-28-07 10:32am

i am so sorry to hear this ..it must be hard...im not sure if what you feel is normal or not because i never went thtough something of this nature but you will pull through...and the sayin only applies to someone dying when a baby is born...
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tigresacanela24

Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 5261
Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.

Posted: 02-28-07 10:44am

I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I had some profound words of wisdom to make everything better for you but I don't. No one does. Just know that as time goes on, you will feel better. Being angry and feeling guilt and resentment are normal parts of grieving.
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