I Dont Know What to Do Anymore Posted: 02-13-04 09:57am
I'm new here, so hi.
I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymic
disorder, although i've been taking meds
for depression for a while. I'm on
depakote again, and have recently (last 2
months) had 4 major depressive episodes
and was really close to one last night. I
love my girlfriend so much but I just dont
feel comfortable around her, I dont know
if it is because I dont want to have an
episode around her, or if its because I am
so upset because I dont want to feel
depressed and uncomfortable in my skin
around her. We live together, but work a
lot so evenings its the worst. I've
seriously considered the fact that when
people are physically totured to a point,
they just want it to be over. I've felt
that way a lot. I just dont think I could
do anything about it. Thought pop into my
head about how easy it would be, but I get
scared and chase them away. I'm 22 and I
am looking at dealing with this forever.
If I already cant take it anymore right
now, I dont know what to do. I've tried
everything, coping skills in tons of
books, working on cognitive distortions,
therapy, medication. It may go away for a
few days, but it always comes back. What
is in the future for me? A family
someday? I cant raise kids like this. A
career? I can barely function at the
retail job I have. Its hard enough to
make it through the day. A marriage? I
dont want to saddle someone else with
this. I also dont want to hurt anyone,
but my family and girlfriend know what i'm
going through. They would eventually
understand. My family has watched me try
and fail time and time again, and they
know i'm running out of hope. I guess i'm
writing this to see if anyone else has
gone through this, this daily going to bed
depreesed and waking up depressed. Day in
day out. It never leaves. Any help or
hope anyone can offer would be well
appreciated. Right now, this frayed rope
is stretched to its limit.
Thanx
|
Galoo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Feb 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Canada
Posted: 02-29-04 10:28am
I feel your pain... be patient and
believe me there is hope! I'm sure your
girlfriend would understand and even want
to help you if you sat down and explained
everything to her. You should never be
ashamed to feel the way you do...Isn't it
enough that you feel bad? You don't need
to add stress to your already stressful
condition. This is a time when you need
friends and loved ones...If she's really
is the one she will stick around (take it
from a woman) :d
keep smiling it's going to get better!
|
mia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 147 Location: dallas
Don't Know Posted: 02-29-04 16:15pm
I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad.
First, know that there are people here
who have experienced the same thing and
have gotten through! Second, obviously
your meds are not working,so you need to
talk to your doctor immediately. 4
serious depressive episodes in such a
short time, you need to let them know.
If you feel that your doctor is not
listening, seek a new doctor, not every
doctor is for every person.
Then, remember that there are people in
your life who love you. They want to
help, but they can't help if you don't ask
for it.
Even though you are 22 and you have the
rest of your life to look forward to, you
are not always going to feel the way you
feel right now. Things will get better!
Find someone to talk to whether it is a
preist, friend, therapist or total
strangers, like me. Talking things
through really helps, that's freud's whole
theory. Just talking about things can
make them better!
Good luck
mia
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vrajavala
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Feb 2004 Posts: 12 Location: Hollywood Florida
Anti-depressants Posted: 03-05-04 10:11am
Maybe your serotonin levels are low and
you need to be taking anti-depressants in
addition to depakote. The same thing
happened to me: there was a
mis-communication between me and my
psychiatrist and I was only taking
depakote. I became very depressed. It is
straightened out now. I'm on prozac,
respiridol and depakote.
Good luck.
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 03-07-04 11:05am
Serotonin levels can be righted by a
natural substance 5htp (go to a search
engine & check out tryptophan) &
also by sam-e(another natural stress &
mood stabiliser.
I would also suggest as others talking to
your g/f, family & dr, but as well
doing some self help stuff like yoga or
pilates &/or meditation (these you
& your g/f could do together which
might be fun & helpful for both of
you.
|
Meganruth8706
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Mar 2004 Posts: 2 Location: Georgia
Posted: 03-10-04 01:10am
Hi, i'm on the other side of the spectrum.
I am dating some one who is bipolar. I
have asked someone for advise, and am
waiting for a reply. I want so badly to
be there for my boyfriend. When he cry's
or gets angry, it worries me. I sometimes
wonder if i'm the cause of his stress. I
care about him soo much, but as I have
said before, he distances himself from me.
I have thought about children and not
wanting them to be bipolar, and not
knowing whether or not he could handle
raising a child. He has gone thruogh a
lot, his dad having the same disorder. I
cannot help but smile every time I think
about him, but this one important part of
his life, I feel, is keeping us from
getting closer. I understand that he
doesn't want to be vulnerable, i'm just
confused. We had a conversation about it
last night, and he said to me that he was
afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle
what all he goes through, and that I might
leave him because of it. I wish I could
take away all of his pain. I know that I
cannot but I want help dealing with this.
From your point of view, what has helped
you and your girlfriend last as long as
you have together while you have been
dealing with the emotional rollercoaster.
be patient and
believe me there is hope! I'm sure your
girlfriend would understand and even want
to help you if you sat down and explained
everything to her. You should never be
ashamed to feel the way you do...Isn't it
enough that you feel bad? You don't need
to add stress to your already stressful
condition. This is a time when you need
friends and loved ones...If she's really
is the one she will stick around (take it
from a woman) :d
