the Ultimate Premature Ejaculation Discussion

Hey everyone just spent a couple of hours paging through here and it's definitely the best forum I've come upon. It's nice to see so much candor. I'm not going to be a lot of help when it comes to lasting longer (15-30 seconds penetrating, maybe a minute or two for oral) but I hope my experience with my wife might help some of you guys. We've been together about 5 years and early on I just decided to be very open with her about how much my p.e. bothered me, and it really helped both of us. We both try a lot harder to work with what we can do. We've also found that my giving her oral sex before penetration helps take pressure off both of us that she won't wind up disappointed altogether, and lets me relax a lot more, helping the cause. Not to mention that the more lubrication she builds up beforehand, the less friction it is for me.

The best advice I have is to try to have as good an attitude and stay as positive as you can and work around your problems in the bedroom while they persist. Partners can sense when you're doing everything you physically can to please them, and there's something to be said for that. I know there are a lot of guys out there who don't feel like they have to put in any effort outside of intercourse, and we certainly can't have that attitude.

That said, I'm definitely going to try to stud spray. I'd much prefer to not deal with this. Thanks everyone.

new to the forum, but I have similar problems.

A bit of history.........

Have been married twice, second one she gave up on me & no sex but for 3-4 times a year for 5 years. First one, well, let's just say I was too young & stupid.

Anyway, fast forward 30 years. I have a wonderful woman now, she & I are very open about disucssions about sex. The problem is me. Maybe it's because we don't do it often enough, maybe it's because of other problems.

My problem isn't with a hand job, or oral. I don't cum when she (or any other woman does) gives me oral. I take a long time to cum when she gives me a handjob............but penetration............I last about 30 seconds.

I've tried the stop n start techniques, I've tried the masturbate prior to sex thing, I've been on different medications to help with low seritonin levels.

Nothing seems to work, but this site is giving me some ideas.

Thank you everyone for providing me with valuable information that I "can take to bed & use". Wonderful info & real world research here.

Mark

Here is my problem, I suffer from the same thing as everyone else here. I usually bust my load after 20 seconds of penatration. It strated when i was fifteen. I accidentally stumbled on a solution when I was 19. Smoking majijuan before I have sex. I fould I can last at the very least 20 minutes (and thats only if I concentrate real hard on ejeculating) In most instances I can on for an hour or my not be able to cum at all. Its been great i feel like a super stud. However, the problem is marijunna is illegal. It also can be hazardous to your health, especially if you have been smoking 10+ yrs like me. I need to find a new remedy to my problem. Alcohol does not work for me. Neither does the kegal and the breathing meathods. Start and stop is crap, especially If you deal with many women, and don't heave a steady girl who is understanding. I have heard about ssri but I am hesitant to go their (although I think they may work because they are mind altering like Mary Jane) I won't to try some of these herbal remedies out their but I have no clue what works. I heard of Kava (kava pills, Kava root or Kava juice) has anyone had experience with that. I purchased some 5-htp although I have not tried it yet. Is their an herbal remedy that anyone has found to work. Needing to find a new cure bad PLEASE HELP. Any suggestions would be welcomed

i feel you man, and i cant help you but you just give me an idea to try, may not be the best but its a solution, gonna try smoking one and see if it boosts my libido.

trust me when i say that none of the crap out there works for pe except ssri's, ive tried so many things for pe its ridiculous and some of them said they were supposed the first night and some of them said they were supposed to work after a couple of months of use and claimed to even out serotonin levels to calm you down and make you control your tool better but its caca, save your money and take a girl out to a nice restaurant instead, impress her and then go a couple rounds in bed and make sure she is satisfied to keep her coming back

Good day gentlemen. As you can tell, I am new to the forum, but not to the problem. It is indeed frustrating and most certainly embarrassing. I am 23 years old, 5'11" and weigh approximately 180 lbs. I'm just giving this information to help others gauge themselves if they are looking for a comparison or trying to find a correlation using the aforementioned information... I tend to last approximately 1-4 minutes of constant penetration before succumbing. I usually end up stopping when I start "feeling it" and change positions as a "reset" technique, although I'm sure that gets kind of annoying for her if I need to do it often. I have done kegels in the past, but it was a while back and it didn't quite work, although I admit I probably could've given it more effort. I'm also uncertain if I did it for long enough for it to have been effective. I have decided to start again and have a particular question in mind. What would the effects of doing a kegel exercise right before sex have on endurance? Would you see a increase on that particular session, or simply continue building the "long term" view? If anyone can shed any light, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm open for sharing personal answers to questions you may have to help your case out. Thanks and best wishes...

I have PE and it is even worse in stressful or embarrassing situations. The more I am worried about it the quicker it happens. I also fear it has caused me a fear to go see a doctor about this. I have not been to a doctor for over 7 years now. The main reason is because of a very awkward and embarrassing situation with my last doctor. My last visit was to discuss PE and a mass on one of my testes. She went over PE with a lot of what is discussed here on this forum. After which she had me undress from the waste down and lay down on the exam table so she could examine the lump I discovered. She did the basic male exam and then began checking each testicle. She had me show her where the lump was and she found it as well. The exam lasted maybe 2 minutes. At about the 1 minute point in the exam I began to get an erection. I was embarrassed and very anxious. Without much notice I felt as if I was going to ejaculate and sat up and asked her to stop for a minute. She replied she was almost done and not to worry about the erection. Well just as she said that I ejaculated. I was never more embarrassed in my life. She apologized for not stopping when I asked her to and quickly she removed herself from the table and went around the curtain. She handed me some tissues to clean and said I could get dressed. She set me up for an ultrasound and I don't remember much of what she said after this as I was just completely embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there. I got the ultrasound which came back as just a cyst and nothing to worry about unless it got larger.
I know I should see a doctor but have not had the courage to go since this incident for fear of this happening again. How do I find a new doctor and explain this problem without sounding like a complete fool. Also has anyone else experienced something similar?

try to masturbate before you get laid if its possible.

PE is indeed a strange creature. Just a quick background in the event you didn't read my previous post:

Age: 23
Weight: ~180 lbs.

I also have a very carnivorous diet. I also do not get nearly the amount of fruits and vegetables I should be getting. I know this is kind of "out there" but someone may one day stumble upon this information and figure out some kind of complex correlation when it comes to PE as we know it - diet being one of many synapses of thought that entangle and form the theorm itself.

Anyway, on to the meat of the post (pun intended, that is, if you even spotted that cheesy interlude). When we get down and dirty, I always go down on her before sex. Many times, we pull a 69 or simply take turns. I can typically last 3-6+ minutes of oral sex, and she is pretty good... Luckily, she is multi-orgasmic in this method - she can orgasm in succession when I eat her out and I believe she has gotten to about 4 or 5 orgasms during one session of foreplay. Usually she "settles" for 2 before it's my turn. The problem with penetration is my stamina seems to be lacking in that department. The times vary greatly, and seems to be dependent on many factors; usually about 1-3 minutes. Strangely, however, we had not had sex in about 2-3 weeks, and tonight I lasted about 10 minutes. I admit, this was using a Trojan Ultra Pleasure(TM) condom, but is still a massive improvement than usual. I have not tried the numbing condoms because I'm afraid I might lose the erection altogether (I'd rather come quickly than not at all, don't you agree?) Another sexual issue in our relationship, since we're being so candid and open, is one with my girlfriend. She was abused, sexually, by both her stepfather and real father. From what she's told me, they were not "entirely" abusive, meaning there was no actual sex. I'm not sure if there was any oral sex involved or not, but it seems more to have been "just" fondling and such. The anger and wonder surges in me as my fingers translate their movements into words - but I guess that is irrelevant to this thread. I believe these experiences have led to her being being anorgasmic during sex. Not once in our 6 year relationship has she had a vaginal orgasm. Obviously, this is both frustrating and aggravating. What man does not want his girl to have vaginal orgasms? This is why I always go down on her before penetration, so she can get "hers". In the beginning of our relationship, I can remember her saying she was "close" and began to talk increasingly dirty, which showed me it might be true. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Well, if it is of any importance to you, I apologize for the long post, but I feel that every tiny excerpt of our sexual lives, every feeling, disappointment, longing, and of course, experience, helps us come one step closer to solving this hideous sexual conundrum. Good night all, stay conscious. Mary Jane truly does amazing things to the mind - such beauty and free-flowing expression!

Song currently playing: Jon Hopkins - Lost In Thought.

QUOTE

heard of Kava (kava pills, Kava root or Kava juice) has anyone had experience with that. I purchased some 5-htp although I have not tried it yet. Is their an herbal remedy that anyone has found to work. Needing to find a new cure bad PLEASE HELP. Any suggestions would be welcomed

UNQUOTE

I am a regular kava junkie. Needless to say, it doesn't seem to help with PE; otherwise, I would not be here. But it's fun to drink some dirt water at the end of the day

this is the worst thing ever!
cant even get it out of the pants before it goes
whats the point

If you want to try something fo pe, try taking a robitussin caplet before the deed (it has to have the DXM (Dextromethorphan) in it, if it has the guafesien in it, it won't hurt you, but the guafesein won't help).

The results for me were incredible. Years ago, when I was inexperienced, pe was a problem, but a pill or two and I could outlast her, no problem, as many as five times a day. I don't recommend taking any more than the OTC dose. It inhibits the involuntary muscle contractions (like coughing) that get the whole problem started and it is a mild dissociative, which means it can help you think you are in another place and relax (similar to what others mention when presenting the benefits of pot, but not illegal or as heavy). After a while, I could get to that place and relax on my own; no more stress=no more problem. I can't believe more people haven't heard of this!

Spare me the lectures about drugs, I am a few months away from my Ph.D. in chemistry. Just have fun and let me know how it goes.

Good luck

hey guys, well I have great control now and suggest you should try what I had tried.(previous page)
I've been having sex every night and I usually last 20 min. atleast. And I can go for 10-15 minutes now when I skip a couple of days.

And the cool thing is, I don't have to use those climax control condoms anymore. they were really good for a while so I could get used to having sex for long periods(40+ min). but now i don't need them as much and the biggest complaint was that I wasn't as hard with them and that I wouldn't come on many occasions.
but anyways, try what I did and I hope this works for you too.