Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 07:15am
MandM
wrote:
So if PE was a result of a
serotonin problem, wouldn't we all be very
depressed? Are all of you seriously
depressed, in general? I've dealt with a
good amount of depression during my life,
but honestly, the last couple of years
have been very good. I was always on the
impression that if your serotonin levels
were low, then you'd be very depressed.
This makes me think that inhibitied
ejaculation is just a side effect of
SSRIs, rather then low serotonin levels
being the cause of PE.
When you clentch your muscle, your penis
firms up and gives a big salute. I think
clenching your penis forces more blood
into it, which is why it firms up. This is
another problem, relaxing is supposed to
help, but your penis doesn't seem to be as
firm.
Mike H; I've been using desensitizers for
a while. I've been using Stud spray. A
couple of sprays will numb you and soak
into your skin. This is good because it
won't rub off on your partner.
I think frequency of sex definately plays
a role in lasting. I am engaged, but we
are not living together until we get
married. We both still live at home, so
sometimes we can go a couple of weeks w/o
sex. I know that the party ends much
sooner, and I am much more excited if we
haven't done it in awhile.
The desensitzer thing is an art. Like you
said, if you put too much on, then you go
lymp, not enough and it doesn't work. When
we used to have sex more frequently, I
used to have her jerk me off first(I would
hold her hand while she did this so I
could control the pace). And then I would
pleasure her, and then it would lead to
sex. This way, I had a much longer staying
power the second time and she was
extremely excited by the time penetration
came around. This was working great when
we had the time for it. I know I can get
erect pretty quickly after coming. Have
you guys tried this method. Maybe letting
your partner give you a hand, then
pleasure her for a little while, and then
be ready for round two and much longer
staying power.
POM- I see you've tried a lot. I've been
hesitate to start with any more herbal
products. I started taking Bloood pressure
medication and have been worried that it
would cause an interaction. Did any of the
ones you've taken claim a full refund
guarentee? I know the ones in Maximum
magazine have been claiming this. Maybe I
should bite the bullet on one of them and
try it. Take one for the team. I wish I
could come across something that worked. I
would tell everyone, but once again, if
there was something that worked, wouldn't
it have been all over the place?
My fiance has been very very supportive.
She is a great girl. But she always walks
away pleased. I don't let the first
let-down end the party. I keep it going,
and most of the time she has her
orgasim(s). I love watching a girl cum,
that's always my goal, not myself, but I
always do anyway.
Durex has a condom called Performax,
that's the one I have used before.
I also agree about the foreplay thing. The
longer the foreplay, the less I last. I
start rubbing myself against her and she
starts grabbing. I always have to push her
hand away from my penis. She want's to
grab and rub me, but sensitivity doesn't
allow me. I would cum in my pants if I let
her grab and rub. That's very frustrating.
But I think that if there was very little
foreplay, I would last a bit longer, but
then she wouldn't be ready. Even if she
wants to give me a quicky handjob or
something. I get very uneasy and can't
relax because I get the feeling that I'm
going to cum right away. Is it a viscous
cycle?
Is there anyone here who previously didn't
have any form of PE and acquired it at a
later time? I was pondering if someone
could describe how sensations felt before
the PE set in. I am so intrigued with the
sensation part of PE. When the sensitive
area at the tip, below the head is
caressed it creates an urge to cum. When
this area is dulled, then the urge to cum
is delayed. But to counteract this, if you
go to round 2, the urge to cum is delayed,
but the sensitive area does not feel
sensitive anymore (even though you didn't
manually dull this area). This has me
baffled.
Sorry for the long
read.
good point on the depression vs low
serotonin, I have never been depressed and
am very healthy physically as well so I
think its more of a "in my head thing"
then a physical thing. I tend to agree
with you that maybe increasing the
serotonin level is a side effect it has on
PE.
Your second paragraph is scary, you've
described my exact experience with
clenching. I last longer when relaxed but
its not as firm and it is very hard to
remain in the relaxed state, I usually
have to push down (think taking a crap).
I think I am going to try a spray but
first I will use up my condoms and see if
that works if it desensitizes her then the
spray will be the next step.
You seem to have some success with this
Stud spray, is it expensive and where do I
get it? This means that I will have to
talk with the wife and really address this
issue, like I've said in previous post we
haven't really sat down and formally
talked about it. This will be ackward!
I am on my second marriage and we both
have kids from our first marriages so we
usually have at least 1 kid in the house
most of the time so the frequency isn't
like I'd like it to be. I would last much
longer (proof as when we do it more I
notice a big difference) if we could do it
3 or 4 times a week.
Again, are we twins or what MandM? ha ha.
I am the king of pushing her hand away as
we rub each other. It sucks as she has an
amazing technique and I love it when she
jerks me off.
I wish we could try your way of having the
hand job first then getting down to
business. But at 42 yrs old its usually 1
and done.
|
POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 07:59am
This thread is getting interesting, Lets
keep going and well come up with the cure
for PE!
In my case, I beleive my PE is directly
connected to my self confidence. Ive had
low self esteem in the past and always
had. I went through a vicious drug
addiction and that was rock bottom, long
story short Having always turned away from
being social and accepting myslef, I think
that is what is causing my PE...social
pressure to be what I have to live up too,
the image I have to portray . The past
years have been going better but its a
rebuilding process. Ive been depressed in
the past, but know im beleiving that if my
mind is in the right place, eventually the
body will learn to listen.
Pe is phsycological and physical, mostly
phsycological in my case. thats my view on
it.
Anybody else relate to this... a bit?
|
MikeH90
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 08:32am
POM82
wrote:
This thread is getting
interesting, Lets keep going and well come
up with the cure for PE!
In my case, I beleive my PE is directly
connected to my self confidence. Ive had
low self esteem in the past and always
had. I went through a vicious drug
addiction and that was rock bottom, long
story short Having always turned away from
being social and accepting myslef, I think
that is what is causing my PE...social
pressure to be what I have to live up too,
the image I have to portray . The past
years have been going better but its a
rebuilding process. Ive been depressed in
the past, but know im beleiving that if my
mind is in the right place, eventually the
body will learn to listen.
Pe is phsycological and physical, mostly
phsycological in my case. thats my view on
it.
Anybody else relate to this... a
bit?
The more I hear about everyone else's
stories the better I feel. I AM NOT
ALONE!
I find it hard to get my hands around the
theory that it is not only physical but
mental as well. How can a physical
reaction come from something
phsycological? I was always from the "my
dick is just too sensitive" camp, and
someone needs to come up with a drug to
tone down that sensation.
Maybe this is why its so hard to cure
because it is both, and not only that but
for each guy it is in different
combinations of percentages. I would tend
to lean towards its more physical with me
as I have never been depressed, have lead
a normal healthy life, never done drugs or
gotten into trouble. I have always had
this problem. At first I thought it was
because I masturbated to quickly as a
young teen, didn't want to get caught. But
I can control it now when I mastubate, I
can go for 30 minutes of heavy stroking
before I have to slow down or stop. Its
just when someone else touches me I get
that uncontrolable urge. Does it stem from
the fact that I love sex, I love the
feeling of having a hard on and love the
feeling of having an orgasm?
|
POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 11:06am
Well, then we are the proof that it can be
physcological for some and physical for
others. This is where i learn the most
because I talk to real people that have
the same problem but diffrent experiences,
I think tha just proves that mind and body
are connected. OK, without getting too
zen on your asses this
is why I beleive this... I am seeing a
sexologist about this and when I asked him
if he could help me, he flat out said with
100% confidence that I will be able to go
30 minutes if i like or 10 minutes when I
am done with him.
He told me he had other clients that came
to see him and couldnt last 1 minute and
now they last 30...how I asked, well the
first thing he told me start stop
technique, I havent been able to try it
because I dont have a girflriend but Im
working on it now cause I realize how
impotant it is for me. Most of you guy
have girlfirends, you gotta use that to
your advantage and get them to help you,
convince them, they have to want to help
you, if that means making them appreciate
you more by doing small things that will
get their attention and make themn see
that you love them.
Anyway I will not fix my problem with a
pill, although it may help, im gonna fix
my problem through practice and patience.
One thing has helped me is to tell myself
that in caveman times, premature
ejaculators were Alpha amles because they
reproduced quickly, while the others got
blindsighted with a heavy stick to the
side of the head while they were doing it
|
MikeH90
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 12:04pm
"One thing has helped me is to tell myself
that in caveman times, premature
ejaculators were alpha amles because they
reproduced quickly, while the others got
blindsighted with a heavy stick to the
side of the head while they were !@#^ing
"
that is too funny! I guess that is the
silver lining huh!
i'd be curious as to what the sex
therapist will have you do to get up to 30
minutes or to whatever you want. Keep us
informed.
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1664 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 13:17pm
I'm not sure if you can really say that,
all male animals, not just alpha males,
pretty much have PE. Might be better to
call it "don't give a crap about the
female."
Last edited by Stan on 03-26-07 20:16pm; edited 1 time in total
|
POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 13:22pm
You know what I mean, I dont know what you
mean though
Hey I just realized that im now rather
Ehealthy, coool
Well great forums, great site., wish id
found it sooner
Wel im off for a weekend of getting
hammered, hockey and debaucheries.
Peace
|
MikeH90
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 13:33pm
POM82
wrote:
Hey I just realized that im
now rather Ehealthy, coool
Well great forums, great site., wish id
found it sooner
Wel im off for a weekend of getting
hammered, hockey and debaucheries.
Peace
have a good one. cy monday.
|
Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 03-23-07 13:39pm
Stan Stepanic
wrote:
"don't give a crap about the
female."
That is more like it.
|
MikeH90
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 13:42pm
Sunflower_pie81
wrote:
Stan Stepanic
wrote:
"don't give a crap about the
female."
That is more like
it.
i always feel guilty that I'm done before
my wife, sometimes I think she fakes her
orgasm to cum with me to make me feel
better.
|
Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 03-23-07 13:49pm
MikeH90
wrote:
Sunflower_pie81
wrote:
Stan Stepanic
wrote:
"don't give a crap about the
female."
That is more like
it.
i always feel guilty that I'm done before
my wife, sometimes I think she fakes her
orgasm to cum with me to make me feel
better.
No love, i didn't mean all men....but a
lot of them have the whole alpha male
attitude and don't give a crap about their
chicks. my husband was like that but
before i married him I tought him what he
needed to do to take care of me. or there
would have been no marriage. I dated a man
with severe PE too.....he learned how to
please me and then get his. that is how
it should be. I didn't need penetration
to cum.....as long as my man does the deed
than i am happy. I would wrather have
sex...but the thing is.....when you love
someone you go above and beyond to satisfy
her before yourself.
God i sound selfish
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 03-23-07 14:21pm
Sunflower_pie81
wrote:
MikeH90
wrote:
Sunflower_pie81
wrote:
Stan Stepanic
wrote:
"don't give a crap about the
female."
That is more like
it.
i always feel guilty that I'm done before
my wife, sometimes I think she fakes her
orgasm to cum with me to make me feel
better.
No love, i didn't mean all men....but a
lot of them have the whole alpha male
attitude and don't give a crap about their
chicks. my husband was like that but
before i married him I tought him what he
needed to do to take care of me. or there
would have been no marriage. I dated a man
with severe PE too.....he learned how to
please me and then get his. that is how
it should be. I didn't need penetration
to cum.....as long as my man does the deed
than i am happy. I would wrather have
sex...but the thing is.....when you love
someone you go above and beyond to satisfy
her before yourself.
God i sound
selfish
you don't sound selfish
to me! I do't mind not getting off all the
time,t doesn't bother me,but hello!?! I
would liek some attention to my bits if ya
can't get it up and I wanna get off! I
have dated a few men who only cared about
getting their nut and couldn't give a sh*t
less about if I got off or not,yet when
they asked me if I did and I said no,they
just say sorry! what is up with that
sh*t?!?!?
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1664 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 14:23pm
I agree with that, and I can say from
experience that loving my wife keeps me
going. If I go before her, I keep going
for her so she can enjoy it too.
I've found that this mindset increasing
the amount of time we have sex, because I
no longer feel worried about doing it
first.
|
MikeH90
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 328 Location: , Illinois USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 14:29pm
Stan Stepanic
wrote:
I agree with that, and I can
say from experience that loving my wife
keeps me going. If I go before her, I
keep going for her so she can enjoy
it too. I've found that this mindset
increasing the amount of time we have sex,
because I no longer feel worried about
doing it
first.
there have been many a time when the wife
just isn't in the mood but knows I am so
she will oblige with a handjob or oral to
get me off. I feel guilty and always want
to reciprocate but she just says next
time. When we have sex i usually get her
off first or very close and then we cum
together.
|
Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 03-23-07 15:21pm
when a chick isn't in the 'mood' (i don't
know why chicks get like this. i am
confused about that. but anyway) she is
pretty much fine getting you off in some
way. When a wife/girlfriend/girl isn't in
the mood then their men being happy with a
hand job or oral then they are ok with
that. I know that there was a time or
two....not more times than that my whole
marriage that i wasn't in the mood, but i
was just happy getting him off with just a
hand job or otherwise...
I wouldn't feel bad about that.
and you are a good man for lettin her get
hers before you.....
and "stan" your the man.
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1664 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-23-07 15:28pm
Since you're a woman I need to ask. Do
you really, truly not mind providing for
your guy when you don't feel in the mood?
Occasionally this will happen with my wife
and I feel so guilty afterwards that I beg
to give her something but she insists she
likes doing it. I'm curious if you can
explain why. I think the answer is
obvious, but perhaps not.
|
Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 03-23-07 16:50pm
All i can do is tell you how i feel,
I loved my husband (he passed away) and i
would have done anything for him. I felt
a sence of accomplishment in satisfying my
man without asking for anything in return.
for some women it's quite a feat getting
their men off with oral or a hand job. so
it feels good when we are able to do that.
Now if i am not in the mood, which was
hardly ever, i was happy to service my
husband. (hehehehe@service) It just ment
that i wasn't going to have to do
anything. Most chicks just dont' roll over
with the 'headache' they would rather do
the deed and then call it a night.
arguing with the other isn't fun. and
avoiding a cold shoulder is prefered.
i am sure if she loves u she really doesnt
mind, take the free-bee once in a while.
|
HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 03-26-07 00:08am
A little news...
Like some of you may have read I've done a
lot of research into substances that may
help treat PE. From 5-htp and Tryptophan
affecting serotonin (decreasing
Adrenaline), to GABA decreasing
neurotransmitter activity, to Methionine
affecting histamine levels, and Chinese
herbs that act as astringents, relaxants,
diuretics, etc, etc, etc.
Problem is I can't really experiment with
them, because I have another health
problem to take care of and I don't want
to overload on supplements. So since
certain substances would best be taken as
a daily supplement, I haven't gotten into
many. However, certain ones may act
faster.
On two occasions I have put some of these
to a test. Which ones I really need, I'm
not sure, and I hope to research and
experiment more in the future with these
(hopefully with some help from members
here). Anyway, the ones I tried were
Rhodiola (tincture), Cordyceps (capsules),
Schizandra & Lycium (tincture), and
GABA (capsule). For the purpose of
relaxing I also took a product containing
Passion Flower, L-Theanine and Valerian.
That covers anxiety related PE as well as
helps keep the body, and therefore the
pelvic muscles relaxed.
Both occasions were successful as I did
not experience PE. Granted, I also kept my
pelvic muscles as relaxed as possible and
did positions that would best grant that.
Woman-on-top, is the one I find easiest to
relax the pelvic muscles (while Missionary
is the worst), but you might be different.
I lasted several minutes of intercourse,
that includes foreplay, handjob, blowjob,
etc. The several minutes could have been
extended, but since I had already brought
my partner to orgasm already and she was
reaching again through intercourse, I
released with her.
It's possible that GABA had the greatest
affect as it decreases neurotransmitter
activity, but all the ingredients are
beneficial to sexual health, PE, or
relaxation. The GABA I took was 250mg and
not much more should be needed, and likely
shouldn't exceed 350mg. If I were to
create a formula it would most likely be
included, however it'd be more of a
pre-performance formula. If I were to
create a daily formula meant for long-term
use it would likely not be ideal.
Just thought I'd let you guys know.
Perhaps some of you would like to try some
things and we could better identify those
substances that are beneficial.
Mixed with practice and relaxation,
perhaps they would not need to be taken
indefinitely, but rather as a training
aid.
this
is why I beleive this... I am seeing a
sexologist about this and when I asked him
if he could help me, he flat out said with
100% confidence that I will be able to go
30 minutes if i like or 10 minutes when I
am done with him.
