I am having a problem with my girlfriend
that I'm not sure what to do or say.
We have been having sex since December.
She is the first woman I've had sex with.
Over the past 2 weeks, it seems impossible
to know if she wants sex or not. The
problem is, I badly want her most every
night. We sleep together about 4 or 5 days
a week, and rarely have sex. I would say
we have sex once every 3 or 4 days. I
ususally want sex every night, but never
'ask' for it.
Most nights we lie in bed and cuddle and I
think we might be having sex and she plans
on sleeping. Sometimes I get an erection
and it feels like she is bothered by it so
she usually gives me manual stimulation
and even sometimes says 'now I can go to
bed' jokingly, but it makes me feel bad.
I would summarize my problem as wanting
her most every night without knowing what
she wants. Sometimes she wants me,
sometimes not. I feel she's not passionate
for me much. I take her out to eat and we
go to the mall all one day and I am not
'expecting' that to get me sex but it
would think sometimes it would be nice,
and she sleeps in her room tonight with
nothing.
I don't know where to start to ask if I am
not pleasuring her or if she just does not
find me sexy much...please help!
|
blulyneguy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 334 Location: Idaho,
Sounds Familiar Posted: 03-07-07 21:49pm
You sure you're not married? Sounds alot
like marriage. Could be that your
"honeymoon" phase is subsiding and you
guys are getting into a kind of routine.
Be open about it and talk to her. remember
that *most* women don't have the same
desire as men.
|
cdietschrun
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-07-07 21:50pm
What can I say??
I wnat to say that I feel neglected but I
feel that at the same time all that will
get me is some attention for a while then
fall back into a 'routine'...I know I
don't expect to have sex every night but 3
or 4 nights apart at our age (20, 21)
feels too long...
|
cdietschrun
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 03-08-07 10:14am
anyone?
|
HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 03-08-07 11:13am
Talk to her about it. Let her know how it
makes you feel and find out why she may
not want to. It may be lack of desire, it
may be that she isn't receiving the
pleasure she wants, it could be many
things. Don't demand it, find out why. And
be careful with your wording so as not to
offend or accuse her or sound like you're
telling her something is wrong with her.
Make it an open conversation where she can
tell you how she feels, what she thinks is
going on and what can be done on your
part.
Also, if it's lack of pleasure don't see
it as a failure on your part and don't be
offended by it. Make sure she knows that
otherwise she might keep it from you even
though you're asking. Instead, see it is
an opportunity to improve your skills and
your relationship together as a whole.
Perhaps there's a sex therapist online
that answers such questions or a site
where answers have been already given to
others in a similar situation.
|
healthy-model
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 93 Location: Arcadia, California
Posted: 03-09-07 13:29pm
is she older than you?
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1620 Location: ,
Posted: 03-09-07 14:18pm
Every three days would be considering a
dream to many married men and men in
relationships. What you need to do is
talk to her and you both need to
understand better what you expect in this
regard. You can't expect sex every night,
but perhaps she needs to consider your
needs as well. You both need to a find a
balance.
|
fiona05
Supporter
Joined: 21 Dec 2005 Posts: 662 Location: , Norn Iron
Posted: 03-09-07 15:36pm
everything healthysex said. that's top
notch advice.
welcome to my world. i crave sex on at
least a daily basis, and it kills me going
to bed with my boyfriend and snuggling up
and getting all in the mood until i
realise all he wants to do is cuddle.
it could be many things, maybe she's shy
or insecure. maybe she has never really
got pleasure from sex so doesnt see the
appeal. talking is the best way, really.
though it is likely i suppose that if she
has a low sex drive, it's just the way she
is and it will always be that way.
good luck
|
Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1620 Location: ,
Posted: 03-09-07 19:01pm
Men and women should both be willing in a
relationship to sometimes provide for
their partner even if they may not really
be in the mood.
|
laura_friesen
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 610 Location: , Canada
Posted: 03-10-07 12:11pm
funy cuz i was the same way just a few
weeks ago. my man always wanted to have
sex and would frusterated when i just
wanted to sleep, and it was cuz i just
wasnt "in the mood" as much as him and so
he talked to me about it cuz i noticed he
was kinda getting frusterated and i told
him if he got me in the mood instead of
just , hey lets do it baby, maybe it get
into the mood more. girls need to be
preheated first before putting the turkey
in ya kno? Im sure u know that but that
was my problem, i cant just flick a switch
and get in the mood , so yah! Just talk to
her hun! good luck!
|
healthy-model
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 93 Location: Arcadia, California
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
ya
that helps too..hehe