I am 23 years old and I have genital
herpes. I am close to my parents, but an
terrified to tell them that I have this. I
have had it now for about a year and they
know nothing. All I can think about is how
dissappointed they are going to be. Now
for the even more difficult part, I am
still with the guy that gave it to me. We
have a good relationship and he had no
signs, other than a little bump on his
lip, that is how it happened, when all
this happened. We are pretty serious and
talk about the future, i'm saying he is
ready to move in together and we talk
pretty serious. Does anybody have any
suggestions about what I should do? I am
really confused?
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HealthySex
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2007 Posts: 414
Posted: 03-08-07 10:08am
Well, I don't know if you have some reason
to tell your parents...
But the way I see it, you're 23, why do
they need to know? Did you tell them when
you lost your virginity? When you
experimented with drugs? If you give
and/or receive oral sex?
The point being, that even people who are
close with their parents don't necessarily
talk about everything. Most people have
levels of privacy, with things they'd tell
everyone; things they'd tell some; and
things they won't tell anyone at all, not
even a spouse, parent or best friend.
Since you're with the person who gave it
to you, it's not like your concern is to
get advice from your parents about dating
someone infected with herpes. You both
already have it, it's a done deal.
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kby_23
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 9
Posted: 03-08-07 11:15am
Yeah, my best friend is the only other
person that knows besides me and my
boyfriend and she said she wouldn't tell
her parents, but I just feel like im being
dishonest. I think into the future alot
and if we were to stay together, marry,
have kids, etc. and say a problem came
about during pregnancy or delivery because
of the herpes, then what would I tell my
parents or my family for that matter. I
worry alot about what other people would
think, because I am the last person that
anyone would think would have herpes, i am
like "miss innocent", i guess that is why
it is so hard to deal with because
everyone would be so shocked.
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laura_friesen
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 610 Location: , Canada
Posted: 03-08-07 15:59pm
ya....i dont think you need to tell your
parents , its entirely up to you but
you're old enough to not need to tell them
you kno?...its like saying hey mom i had
sex today! lol atleast thats the way i see
it
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dazedandconfused
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2004 Posts: 46 Location: USA west coast
Posted: 05-08-07 07:25am
Can I ask how did u know or find out you
had herpes? Signs? And does your bf have
it too? Also any other information you can
tell me would be great.
I have an itchy feeling down there and
burning... and i dont know what it could
be?! Im so scared. Although I will see a
doctor, I was wondering if you guys have
any ideas or advice?
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5541 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 88
Thanked:31
Posted: 05-08-07 12:46pm
I wouldn't tell my parents. I am very
close to my mom, and yes, we have even
talked about sex. But I wouldn't tell her
if I got herpes. As for pregnancy, it is
not uncommon for women to have herpes.
Doctors know how to deal with it, and test
for it. Talk to your doc if you have
concerns about pregnancy.
Are you worried that the guy is cheating
on you? It seems to me that there is
nothing wrong with a guy having herpes
unless he gave it to you knowingly because
he was cheating on you or something. If he
simply had it from a previous relationship
and maybe didn't know then there is
nothing wrong and no reason you should be
worrying about your future.
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acountrygirlcansurvive
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 32
Posted: 05-10-07 23:59pm
well, the way it sounds like it was not
intentional the way you got it and it
really is noone's business but yours and
his unless you were to begin dating
someone else then, it would be the right
thing to do to tell the person "hey, i
have herpes and this is what we do to
prevent you getting it from me." Otherwise
it's a personal private choice. in the
future if you are pregnant and delivering
a baby it is kept strictly private. But,
if you have a vaginal breakout of herpes
when it's time to deliver the baby and
sometimes just as a precaution just in
case....it's c-section time.
