i'm here, .d.

my aim sn is

hello elysium

ah, you aren't on msn right now. well it is 3 30 am i shouldn't be either... but i wish i could have caught you in time to be a bit of a help.

im here if you want to talk...not that you would want to talk to me though!

dalicia, love i am a little late and i would have loved to help you but i don't have aim.

pm me if you need too.

I'm sorry I wasn't on last night. I wish I could of been there to help you. Hopefully you will be on sometime today.

I don't care anymore....I'll just post it.

My great great grandad died....He was 93. And my mom thinks it's her fault. We had a family get together recently at my mom's house, I helped her set it up and we thought it would be nice to invite the family since my grandparents were in town (they live in Farmington,Missouri) Well while my grandad was coming in my moms house he fell down and my dad and brother had to pick him up and set him in a chair, he ate dinner still and said he didnt think anything was broken but we ended up calling an ambulance just to be on the safe side...i mean he's 93 years old you know? It turns out he broke his leg, the upper part. And he ended up having pheummonia(sp) and kinda fell into acoma. But all the sudden he started waking up and doing really good. well he was doing good for like 3 weeks, they tranfered him to a nursing home. He ended up catching pheummonia again this week and died yesterday at 8:00, and what's sad about it is... my grandma had not even known yet when i recieved the phone call. and the last time he caught that we thought he wasn't gonna make it and my mom told me something that he told my grandma which was "why don't we just find a bed and lay down together" Everybody is so upset from it and I can't stop crying. The last person that i was close to that died was brayden & Miliana's dad. It just brings me so many memories that I don't wanna remember. I am so sad, it's killing me.

Apart from that....

Some of you know the story on my sister right? Well she sold meth to a friend that snitched on her, got her door busted down and got caught shooting up. My niece was in the other room. We just found out she had been shooting up recently, but i told my mom 3 weeks before we found out about it that i thought she was doing it because i was over there one day and she locked herself in her room and when she unlocked it and i came in her room there was a spoon (duh) Dashawntay is in my mom's custody. My sister went to jail and got bonded out last night (not by my mom) and as funny as it sounds it was her drug dealer that bonded her out. My mom wants nothing to do with my sister, my sister is now living with her drug dealer in another town and doesn't even want help. She said she don't even want to go to a treatment center. And she don't even give 2 sh*ts that she's not allowed to see her own daughter. My mom said she just thinks janelle is gonna dope it up because she knows shes gonna have to serve time for all the charges she got.

Why can't i have a normal family? My sister f*cks it all up and makes everyone stressed out. Sometimes I honestly wish she would just hurry up and overdose.

I want to be shot in the face right now, seriously. =(

awe hunny im am soo sorry!! i cant say i feel ur pain, because i've never lost any1 close to me, but im so affraid about looosing my grandparents....

im sorry that your sister is being so selfish and stupid, if i could i would smack somce scence into her... if theres anything u need girl u can pm me

D........sorry to hear about your great great grandad. my good friend just passed away last sat he had phenomia (sp) which they said was better but went into a coma.


thats awful about your sister

Aww .dalicia... i'm so sorry, hon.

i'm sorry, dalicia. nick's great grandfather just died recently too, he was also 93. just know that he lived a nice long life, longer than most, and it was probably full of wonderful experiences and memories.

that's really sad about your sister. it's heartbreaking when people can't clean up their acts for their children.

ah that's horrible d. my oupa died, well three of my grandparents have, but when my one oupa died it was the hardest thing ever. i still sometimes cry when i see old men. or when i see my friends with their grandparents. i'm sorry your sister is being so selfish. that is so crappy. her poor daughter.

i wish i could say something to make you feel better, .d.. death is so hard. it seriously is my #1 fear in life. my grandma died in .september or 2005.. she was 81, i think. i was super close to her & sometimes i still get so upset about it. i always see old ladies at the mall or something that remind me of her. & .sometimes .i'll catch wind of a certain smell that smells just like her. it's hard. but i know she lived such a long happy life. i'm only sad that she won't know .gabe. that sucks that your mom thinks it's her fault. it's always so hard when things like that happen.

i don't know what to tell you about your sister. at the risk of sounding like a health forum, she's gonna get what she deserves. they always do. her poor daughter.

.i'm sorry you're having to go through this.
my aim sn is up there if you ever wanna vent.
i'm really good at listening.

love you <3

Thank you guys for all the replies, i really appreciate it. It's just crazy how I broke down like I did....I haven't been this hurt for a while and it just totally sucks.

And to top it off, I have to wake up really early in the morning to go help my mom move my sisters stuff out of her apartment to put it in my moms storage shed. And it's gonna be a incredibly drug house mess and the cops told us if we found any needles or drugs to call them. My sisters neighbors should be happy because they hated her lol.

I talked to my grandma today, it was sad because she started crying and i've never heard her cry before. She's really sad, everyone keeps crying and it's insane how puffy our eyes have gotten!

But anyways, his death is being published in my town, and in farmington so i'll have to post what they wrote on here and take a picture of it because there will be a picture of him on it. And...his funeral is wed. at 10:00 It was in his will that he was to be cremated. *cries* But some of us think it will be easier on us at the funeral because we won't be able to see him. But then again it's like I wanted to see him because i wanted to hold his hand and give him a kiss you know?

my grandma also said he died peacefully because he had went in acoma and the doctor said he didn't think he'd last overnight. And he was right....He just stopped breathing on his own. He was so tired, of struggling to stay alive. He just finally gave up or something.

and of course i'm crying again.

aw d, i won't say i know exactly what you're going through, but reading all that about the coma and him dying like that makes me think of bill. i know i wasn't close to bill (duh) but it was the scariest thing, and i'm really sory you had to go through that with someone you were so close with.

D, I'm so sorry. Nobody deserves soo much pain at once.

You're strong, and I know you can get thorough this. Bray needs you to be happy for him! But I'm sure he can sense that something *really* is wrong.

I'm sorry.

You're one of the strongest people I've talked to. IM me if you need me!

I know it sounds *hella* corny, but your grandfather's death willg et easier on your soul. RIght now, you're going to have a roller coaster of emotions. But as the weeks, months, years pass, the pain will dull.

Sarah

i'm a little late but I know how you feel on the grandparent thing.My grandmother went through the same exact thing,except she broke her hip.she got pneumonia(sp?) and was back and forth from the hospital to the nursing home.I'm sorry about your sister.I don't know how that feels but I know how much stress something like that causes.I'm sorry .d!