Leaving a Verbally Abusive Marriage And Crying..... Posted: 03-11-07 22:02pm
Hello,
I am new to this forum and in need of
help. I have made the decision to leave a
verbally abusive marriage after 5 years
and two children. I love my husband very
dearly, but I cannot take the
temper-tantrums and threats to harm/kill
me anymore. My two little ones are 4 1/2
and 3 years old.....and they have
witnessed almost ALL of the disrespect,
threats and horrible names I have been
called by their father. I am leaving
because I can no longer watch them react
to his "freak-outs" and am worried about
how this molding will impact their
relationships as they grow older.
My husband is very wonderful in a great
many ways i.e. gifts, trinkets, surprises,
on a very regular basis. He is very
generous with his time (always here when
not working), money.....everything he has.
BUT, it is like he is two people (also
very controlling) and when he doesn't get
his way or if I make a decision about
letting my older two children (from a
previous marriage) do something without
discussing it with him, he goes
nuts.....He criticizes everyone and
everything.....I have told him many times
it is like he has a twin who shows up and
loses control.
I have been threatened, had things thrown
at me, called every name in the book and
yet I have stayed. I have finally decided
to move and have secured a place. I have
told him I am leaving, but he will not
believe it....I am scared, but I am also
very sad. I guess I am just looking for
someone to tell me I am making the right
decision. I know he loves me and worships
our children, but I cannot continue to
stay if nothing has changed to give me
hope. He knows he has a problem with
anger, but does not express any interest
in getting help.
Please help me....
Thanks!
|
change is good
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Posted: 03-12-07 06:10am
you did the right thing. i know, i speak
from experience. i am a recovering abuser.
he most likely will not change. the good
things you describe are part of the cycle
of abuse. you broke the cycle by moving
out. i know it's not easy, but do not be
fooled by feeble attempts and acts of
kindness to get you back. change takes
time.
his behavior may very well affect your
children. they may become abusive too. i
know it hurts and it's not easy but stay
strong. there are people here who will
listen and be there for support.
best wishes
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
