Need some input. Im 30 y.o. female and
I've been diagnosed with depression in
1996, after my best friend was
brain-injured in a car crash. I lost twin
girls in 1997, born alive at five months
pregnancy...both died within the hour. I
don't think I ever fully recovered. Since
then, and these are just a few of my
series of unfortunate events in life, I've
been on different medications mostly
anti-depressants Paxil, Effexor and such.
I never feel 100% better but once I start
being able to "manage" with everyday life,
I stop the meds and go down in a spiral
again until I or someone close realises
I'm needing my meds again so back to the
dr I go. But as I am getting older, I'm
starting to think it's more than
depression. I have moments in my life
when I can go without or with little sleep
for days and others when all I want to do
is sleep. I become very obscessed with
anything I become involved in weather it's
work, family, relationships, hobby...even
the food I eat. I will crave something
and eat it for days in a row until I get a
new craving. I always feel guilty of
everything, I think everyone is looking at
me, talking about me. I feel I bother
people or annoy them. I constantly hear a
voice in my head and allthough I know it's
my voice, it's almost as if it's another
person talking and it's all negative. I
don't like to go out or meet people as I
feel I don't fit in. I get realy happy
sometimes about something and it's almost
like euphoria and the next day, I'm
beating myself up and Im ready to break
anything and I have!!! I have ruined lots
of relationships by making up or assuming
things and I get paranoid sometimes to the
point that I can't stand my own self and I
get physical symptoms such as lack of
sleep, lack of appetite, nausea, stomack
cramps fast heartbeat...I hate feeling
like this. Sometimes I feel like I want
to get out of my own skin and suicide
sounds like the only way out except I
still have the reasoning that it's not the
solution and I lost a friend to suicide
and would not want to put my loved ones
through that cause I love them too much.
But could this be a misdiagnosed
schizophrenia or bi-polar? Anyone have a
clue?
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BigDaddyPrimetime
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 49
Posted: 03-16-07 00:34am
In my opinion the only thing described
that sounds anything like symptoms of
schizophrenia is the voice in your head
but since its your own voice your hearing
its not a common case so maybe its not a
symptom.
Ive heard a few voices but not my own. Im
no doctor but what I think is those really
bad events like your friend dying and you
losing two babies knocked you into a
negative state of mind which is more often
than not really hard to get out of unless
you consciously try.
From my experience things always seem to
go from bad to worse and gradually get
worse and worse until it becomes
unbearable and you decide to do everything
humanly possible to resolve all the
problems.
I think by changing your mindset to an
excessively positive one will reverse the
process which is gradually making things
worse and worse for you. Even if your
lying to yourself and pretending bad
aspects of your life are good weirdly
enough just having that mindset will put
you on the path to change those bad
aspects into good ones.
Just give it a shot. Whenever people would
say thoughts create your reality i just
thought they were trying to be
philosophical until i tried it for myself
and realized the extent it goes to.
Analyse every bad aspect of your life and
the feelings you get thinking about them.
If theres even a slightly depressing
feeling that comes with a thought thats an
obvious sign you need to change that
thought. Whatever your thinking about say
its the fact you dont have money to pay
the rent convince yourself that you do
have money for the rent and that you
always have and always will and feel the
bad emotions convert into positve ones.
Even if its not true convince yourself it
is. I dont want to get into philosophy or
spirituality but from my experience just
thinking you have something you dont and
feeling the positive emotions associated
with thinking i have it somehow attracts
that thing I convinced myself i already
had to me.
Try it for yourself.
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BigDaddyPrimetime
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 49
Posted: 03-16-07 00:38am
I found this video about a year after i
realized this trick myself. It explains
what im talking about. Its nothing new
call it creative visualisation, magnetist,
law of attraction, or whatever you want
but its a powerful tool for shaping and
steering your life in the direction you
want.
How long are you generally staying on your
medication? Must depression medications
must be taken for a period of at least 9
months or so before weening you off. You
need to stay on a full, or perhaps longer,
regimen. What you describe sounds like
untreated depression and the symptoms will
only get worse if you don't do something
about it.
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Psychiatrist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 03-22-07 18:23pm
No, I dont think that you are suffering
from schizophrenia. The things that you
have described are not symptoms of
schizophrenia. Clearly you need a full and
a good psychiatric assessment. for example
it should cover, in addition to others,:
- did you have any similar problem before
the traumatic events?
-how soon did you start to have problems
after the accident?
-do you re-experience the accident, e.g
flashbacks, nightmares etc.
-course of your symptoms
-the duration of taking antidepressant and
the extent of improvement
-any councelling?, bereavement, Cognitive
behavioural therapy
-the meaning you gave to the traumatic
events
etc
A face to face , comprehnsive psychiatric
assessment should reach a reasonable
formulation and hopefully a good
management plan which could involve in
addition to medication , some kind of
psychotherapy.
Good luck
