Joined: 23 Aug 2003 Posts: 18 Location: Houston Tx.
I Think I Said the Wrong Thing Posted: 08-26-03 23:58pm
Say your a dude and you dont belive in
abortion and all that stuff and your chic
wants one. But you dont want one. And
you know your to young to have a baby and
life will be hard and all that stuff and
you go off and say you cant be with
someone like that. Not thinkin at the
time. Do you think you should of never
said that and keep caca like that to your
self? Was it wrong to say that? Should
I feel bad? And I said "if we keep the
baby im going to be there for her and the
baby and try to make things work. B/c I
want to and I love you. Not b/c I have
to I want to. But if you get one after
it all said and done I cant be with
someone who can do that"
(by this time you know your going to be
havin one)
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HongKongChick
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 222 Location: Oklahoma
Posted: 08-27-03 00:04am
I think that if u absolutely feel that her
belief and her decision disgust you, then
of course u dont want to be with someone
like that, but u couldve said it in a way
that is communication instead of blame or
arguement to make her feel bad. It is her
body and she will be the one to carry the
child if she wants to keep it. And there
might be alot of issues that she thought
about, and decided not to deal with them.
Whether or not u agree with her decision,
u at least should not be judgemental and
try to just be calm.
Most of the time, ppl are pissed off or
angry or frastrated at the situation, but
direct their anger to the person, that is
subjectivity, and we need to be
objective.
And being a bf, u need to take her
feelings into consideration. And maybe
just try to talk to her as adults instead
of argue with her...See how things go
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Santacruz85
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2003 Posts: 18 Location: Houston Tx.
Posted: 08-27-03 00:11am
I know that its her body and its all
really up to her but I dont know why at
the time I said that. I never wanted
to make her feel bad or anything and she
is right we are to young but I dont know.
I want to be there for her but I cant kill
anything...
Last edited by Santacruz85 on 08-27-03 00:15am; edited 1 time in total
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HongKongChick
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 222 Location: Oklahoma
Posted: 08-27-03 00:14am
Hey, no need to feel bad, we are only
humans and we say things before we think,
it happens...
If u love her dealy, just talk to her,
tell her u did not mean to say that. Just
be honest to her of ur feelings but to be
calm and patient though.
U guys are young, but hey u guys are young
adults, so now it's time to act like
adults and so...Think before u speak.
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Santacruz85
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Aug 2003 Posts: 18 Location: Houston Tx.
Posted: 08-27-03 00:20am
Im not good with words...
All I want is the best for us but at the
same time I cant do that... I know for
sure we cant care for a baby and be ready
for everything. But im not willin to do
that. I know guys if in my shoe who would
be happy that she wants a abortion but im
not happy she thinkin or wants one.
Things happen for a reason... I dont
know this reason.
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HongKongChick
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003 Posts: 222 Location: Oklahoma
Posted: 08-27-03 00:31am
The reason for this is for u to learn. I
mean that's the most effective way to
learn!
Oh even though u dont like her having an
abortion or wanting one, u cannot tell her
what she wants is wrong, or she is a bad
person or anything that seems to put a
blame or shame on her. Coz that's just
gonna cause more conflicts..
But do you love her? If you do, u will
then want to stand by her, support her
decision, make it clear that even though u
hate her decision, but u love her, and u
want to work out with her. Maybe make a
plan that if she gets preg next time, u
two are gonna have a baby or something
like that...
Ok..I am not making much sense
now.....It's late....I am tired....Of
course I am not making sense..But hey
really, best of luck to you two, coz u
seem to love her alot
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 08-27-03 12:01pm
Hey ive been talking to your girl. Im
trying to get her to change her mind. But
you need to help! Tell her you want this
baby and even though you wont be together
you can both be there! And watch what you
say! Think before you speak. She might
take things wrong. Good luck! (was that
sugar coated too? Hahaha)
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nikki_caro
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003 Posts: 4921 Location: Right here at work!
Posted: 08-27-03 14:36pm
Its wasnt wrong for you to tell her that.
If it is true, that you cant be with
someone who kills his baby, then so be it.
I mean, she cant expect you to be happy
she got an abortion when you wanted to
have the baby. Just keep reminding her
that you both need to be together and you
will be there for her all the way. But
keep the promise. Dont back out.
Hopefully she wont do it. Good luck
