I view my medication more as a poison than
a treatment. It is making me ill! It is
something I definitely do no need anymore,
in such high doses. After my injection I
take to my bed for about 10 days - do not
have any desire to go out of the house, am
so 'out of it' that I don't talk to anyone
for this period.
If I do not have my injection I get a
visit from my health worker and am told
that I have to have it. Once I refused to
have my injection, and got angry (I
believe justifiably) with my psychiatrist.
Because of my expression of anger (no, I
was not mentally ill at the time - just
normal anger) he committed me to a mental
health institution where I stayed for 5
weeks.
Because of this anger he has put me on
this strong depot injection.
Long term use of anti-psychotics has
wrecked my mind. For example, I now have
a bad short term memory I can pick up a
book, read it - but can remember little of
what i read a few hours later. I am only
in my mid fifties and put all this down to
long term use of anti-psychotic drugs.
These drugs have taken away 22 years of my
life!
The symptoms that I used to have I
enjoyed. I used to mentally talk to
angels (well, I believed they were
angels). When having symptoms I am
harmless - I would never harm anyone. I
used to love talking (in my mind) to these
Angels. I am able to function perfectly
normally with these symptoms. Why do I
have to be drugged up if I would never
hurt anyone? Why can't I choose how I
want to feel?
I really hate my psychiatrist and the
health workers because of what they are
doing to me!
Why won't they just leave me alone to
live me life as I want to live in peace?
|
Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-18-07 12:36pm
I'm really sorry this is happening. Maybe
you can get a second opinion from another
doctor. I don't know what else to tell
you. I spent a year on zyprexa just
sleeping and watching TV from my bed and
it wasn't even helping my symptoms.
Luckily they changed doctors at my health
institution and the new one had other
ideas.
