What would happen if I die?
Would anyone be sad?
Would anyone care?
Would people be happy?
No more annoying ADHD girl in their
lives.
No more big mouth.
No more loser.
No more weird person.
No more bisexual stinking up our school.
No more health forum.
If I died would the mourners come?
I think this everyday... well ALMOST
everyday. It gets so hard because I think
that yeah I could die but, then I can't
see my friends reactions... I would never
know if anyone cared. I get bullied all
the time and my friends think that there
is NO bullying in my school. They say that
it is MY fault that I get bullied because
I don't stand up for myself. Well I DO
stand up for myself. But, I am always SHOT
back down. It hurts. I can be happy or
sad. Angry or fine. I honestly think that
no one would care execpt maybe my BF,
Megan, Ahsley, Jordan, Heather, and
Laurel. i have 100'S OF FRIENDS and
only...6 would crapping care. It really
REALLY sucks. I mean I try to be the best
that I can be. But, nothign helps. Someone
is always there to shoot down my dreams,
my hopes, and my loves. I am a demon... I
was once a Hero... an angel. But my wings
were torn by all my friends... except
those 6... they were torn they lay on the
floor blood dripping from their core. It
hurts to think that I can't fly anymore.
it sucks. but, I guess life sucks and you
gotta move on... even if the pain hurts
and never stops... I gotta move on.
|
catswold
Supporter
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 404 Location: Flint, Michigan
Posted: 03-17-07 17:37pm
Yes, you've gotta go on. I believe that
most people who want to die are those who
just want the pain to go away (physical
and emotional). You are blessed to have
six friends who care for you. That is
truly a wonderful thing. I'm sorry your
wings were plucked, but we weren't meant
to fly. We were meant to live.
God bless you...
Carol
|
Dalek
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 7
Hey, I Really Relate. Posted: 03-18-07 00:39am
I am annoying ADHD guy and I feel ya
100%.
I am quite a bit older than you but I
really know what you are going through. I
went through school the same way and the
bullying I got was mostly physical not
verbal.
In high school I turned to drugs and
alcohol to self-medicate and to find
acceptance and a crowd I could relate to.
TO make a long story short, it hasn't been
the best life and I have suffered greatly
with depression and addiction for over 15
years.
I am going through a serious bout of
sucidal depression right now, which is why
I am here; looking for some hope.
You are young, and still have a chance for
a wonderful life. I would suggest you try
talking with your parents or a school
counselor about your problems. If you have
insurance (I don't) there is actually a
lot of help available to you that I
guarentee will help you through this tough
time in your life.
As for me, my options are extremely
limited. I haven't worked a full year EVER
in my entire life due to my depression,
ADHD and addiction and I am 36 yrs old
now. If anyone ever felt like a loser it
is me. You have a lot to look forward to
in your life. Get help now while you are
still young and stick with it even if it
seems lame or like it's not doing any
good. If one DR or therapist doesn't seem
to help, FIRE THEM, and find someone else.
You pay them, you are their boss.
Maybe I'll start my own thread now as
perhaps it may be worth one last try.
