Pregnancy Forum - Need Guidance...*urgent* I Beg of a Wise Mind to Help

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Q: Need Guidance...*urgent* I Beg of a Wise Mind to Help

asked by: Tyrohvirgel on March 19th, 2007

New User

We just found out last nite (took 12$ test that guaranteed 99% accuracy)...I'm 20 and she is 17...I go to art school (am there at them moment) she goes to high school (she is there at the moment)... I know that the first day is the hardest and she called me sounding frantic on the phone...

plz she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I'm worried about her mental health (in relation to her physical) she said she was shaking horribly and can not take down food...I'm scared for her

What can I say to cool her down and walk her through this? It is hard because my younger 18 year old sister has a 2 year old. This will be a tough burden to lay upon my parents and we are both nervous.

So far we have agreed to tell no one. Should I talk to someone? We are planning on telling our parents in a week to be sure (waiting for period)...she can't keep her composure around her mother...it is hard

Someone who has been here please help me...what can be done to calm her mental state? She is so frantic I don't know how to help...it is hard when we alone know. I have never been so scared. I am scared for her health. I feel ashamed.

Replies(7)

oh_mommy

replied on March 19th, 2007

Supporter

tell her its ok, and that u love her and you'll never leave her... thats what my bf said to me when i found out i was preggy (i was 17 and he was 19 at the time) it helped alot. also tell her you will be there for her when she tells her parents.

Kia

replied on March 19th, 2007

Moderator

I am assuming then that the tests were positive?

in which case she needs to go to a doctor to arrange medical care.
waiting or avoiding the situation will only make it worse.
and if she has had positive pregnancy tests then there is really no point waiting for her period.

Dannzibelle

replied on March 19th, 2007

Supporter

I can only tell you what my boyfriend told me. When we found out we were both in shcok but Dom kept on reassuring me saying that he's going to stick by me and be a father etc. ALso it may be of help to her if you're there to tell her parents to but thats a persoanl preference

Tyrohvirgel

replied on March 19th, 2007

New User

Thank you. I understand your point in not avoiding it. The difficult part is getting her to agree to this. If it were my way we would be telling our parents tomorrow but I am letting her call the shots for now because I don't want to make things worse for her mental state. Just the fact that she is shaking and in a weak physical state due to her nervousness. Being the first real day of knowing it is hitting us like an avalanche. My life is turning upside down.

Thank you to the previous reply as well. I have already told her these things. I think they have helped it is good to know those words have helped you.

Thank you for your replies all the wisdom I can get right now helps me I am in a terrible state. As of now this web-site is the only source of counseling I am receiving and will be grateful for more replies. I realize it is not the end of the world but my girl is my world and when she is in this state it terrifies me. She means everything to me and I hate that she must bear this burden.

Kia

replied on March 19th, 2007

Moderator

Tyrohvirgel wrote:

I am letting her call the shots for now because I don't want to make things worse for her mental state. Just the fact that she is shaking and in a weak physical state due to her nervousness. Being the first real day of knowing it is hitting us like an avalanche.

That is really worrying.
Please make her an appt to see her doctor asap.
Being in that state is not going to help at all and I prsonally feel that dragging it out and avoiding (temporarily) will make it worse.

you know like if you have to go to the dentist... you start thinking about it, then get a bit worried and if you have several days to go, you're a wreck by the time it comes around, then you find out that the waiting was 100 times worse than the appt.

Dannzibelle

replied on March 19th, 2007

Supporter

Believe me every girl on here is a abusulute jem and will be willing to help out it any way they can, their advice in like gold dust, i have no idea what i would have done if it wasn't for this place it keeps me sane!

Tyrohvirgel

replied on March 19th, 2007

New User

That is great to know Danzzi. I'm grateful my concerns are welcome here

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