Need Your Opinion(specially Ladies) About Pe Posted: 03-20-07 06:00am
Tonight, im going to this girls house,
were gonna have sex. The thing is I dont
know if I should tell her about my PE and
risk killing the mood or maybe even
turning her completely off or if I should
try some desensitizers and other things
like masterbating before to try and make
me last longer. Your thoughts please.
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woodsinho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: Oxford, UK
Re: Need Your Opinion(specially Ladies) Posted: 03-20-07 06:10am
POM82
wrote:
Tonight, im going to this
girls house, were gonna have sex. The
thing is I dont know if I should tell her
about my PE and risk killing the mood or
maybe even turning her completely off or
if I should try some desensitizers and
other things like masterbating before to
try and make me last longer. Your
thoughts
please.
If you're having sex with each other for
the first time, why not have fun doing
other things until you get a bit more used
to each others bodies and you're a little
less nervous? There's lots of other fun to
be had so why not start this evening off
just playing around until you maybe feel
psychologically ready for it later on,
whether that is tonight or another time -
you might even come during that playtime
anyway so masturbating earlier wouldn't be
necessary. I'm sure that if this girl has
invited you to her house she is interested
in you enough to want more than just
immediate penetration, in fact women often
require a great deal more time to warm up
for sex than men, so why not oblige? It is
the best way for you to form a bond,
explore each others' bodies and become
comfortable with each other. It will be
fun and will relieve the pressure on you
while you both enjoy it - everyone's a
winner.
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POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
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Posted: 03-20-07 07:05am
Its not the first time we have sex, I've
been wit her a couple of other times. I
still dont feel at ease with her because I
cant last long and that makes me feel like
crap afterwards, not being able to satisfy
her. On the other hand all the other
times we had sex, I didnt last long
either, so she proabably put two and two
together and realized that I have a
problem...
Oh and I never cum before during foreplay,
its not like that, I just cant last while
penetrating her.
Im beginning to think its all
phsycological...the problem is in my head,
maybe I get too turned on...I know for one
thing that my erections are rock hard,
maybe its too sensitive to pleasure.
This is so confusing
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woodsinho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: Oxford, UK
Posted: 03-20-07 07:16am
POM82
wrote:
Its not the first time we
have sex, I've been wit her a couple of
other times. I still dont feel at ease
with her because I cant last long and that
makes me feel like crap afterwards, not
being able to satisfy her. On the other
hand all the other times we had sex, I
didnt last long either, so she proabably
put two and two together and realized that
I have a problem...
Oh and I never cum before during foreplay,
its not like that, I just cant last while
penetrating her.
Im beginning to think its all
phsycological...the problem is in my head,
maybe I get too turned on...I know for one
thing that my erections are rock hard,
maybe its too sensitive to pleasure.
This is so confusing
If you don't ever come during foreplay and
ejaculate quickly after penetration it
does sound like there's a mental barrier
in your head to do with sex. I think that
from listening to you, the pressure is
coming mostly from you (has any of the
girls this has been a problem with ever
complained?) as you talk about how you
feel afterwards - this is bound to be the
dominant feeling that you're left with
next time you're about to have sex. It's a
difficult one, but if you really like this
girl, maybe you should talk to her about
it - it might really help if she made you
feel more at ease about everything. If
talking to her doesn't work, maybe it
wasn't meant to be. Men think they should
be able to put in pornstar performances
with any woman any time, but we also have
to feel aroused and comfortable to enjoy
sex - if you're not comfortable with
someone it's very hard not to be anxious.
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POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
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Posted: 03-20-07 07:26am
One of my ex's once complained about it
not lasting long and it pissed me off
bigtime, I felt like such a tool for not
being able to last longer. I do put alot
of pressure on myself cause I sorta have
to prove to myself that I can satisfy a
woman, its the only thing that will make
me feel like a man at this point in my
life. I know this adds to the pressure of
the situation but I cant help it. I dont
really have feelings for her as I dont
know her too well. Maybe Ill just face my
fear head on and medical question the
rest.
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woodsinho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: Oxford, UK
Posted: 03-20-07 07:50am
POM82
wrote:
One of my ex's once
complained about it not lasting long and
it pissed me off bigtime, I felt like such
a tool for not being able to last longer.
I do put alot of pressure on myself cause
I sorta have to prove to myself that I can
satisfy a woman, its the only thing that
will make me feel like a man at this point
in my life. I know this adds to the
pressure of the situation but I cant help
it. I dont really have feelings for her
as I dont know her too well. Maybe Ill
just face my fear head on and medical
question the
rest.
I think sleeping with someone you don't
have real feelings and trust for when you
are in your position re PE could be more
damaging than anything else. Your language
about having to 'prove something to
yourself' is exactly the way I used to
sound when I was suffering from a similar
problem - as is often said, the brain is
the most sensitive sexual organ you have.
My advice to you; only way you're going to
get over feeling like that is to wait and
work it out with somebody you really trust
and care about - get to know this girl and
see if you can trust her like that.
Anything else will just multiply your
feelings of inferiority as you fail
(completely understandably may I add) to
live up to the pressure you put yourself
under. Feel free to PM me if you want to
talk some more.
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POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 03-20-07 11:49am
Thanks for your help, despite not having
feelings for her, im gonna go to her house
and try to have fun, Like I said I have
something to prove to myself and I dont
want to wait till I find someone I really
care about, that could be a while. Ill
focus on setting the right mood and
hopefully my mind and body will follow.
Again , thanks for talking it out with me.
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woodsinho
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2006 Posts: 18 Location: Oxford, UK
Posted: 03-20-07 12:03pm
POM82
wrote:
Thanks for your help,
despite not having feelings for her, im
gonna go to her house and try to have fun,
Like I said I have something to prove to
myself and I dont want to wait till I find
someone I really care about, that could be
a while. Ill focus on setting the right
mood and hopefully my mind and body will
follow.
Again , thanks for talking it out with
me.
No probs. As I said, PM me if you want to
talk some more.
One last thing - don't go there with the
mindset of proving something to yourself -
it won't happen if you do. Pressure comes
from within.
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 03-20-07 13:06pm
I agree with woods. Even if you don't
have feelings for this girl, if you are
sleeping with her, you should probably
feel comfortable enough with her to be
honest. It's only a big deal if you two
make a big deal. If she is aware of the
situation, at least she won't sit there
wondering. She might even be able to come
up with some ideas to help get around it a
bit. Also, if you could be open and
honest with her about it, then that might
be a bit of a load off your mind.
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Male Nurse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Massachusetts
Posted: 03-21-07 12:42pm
Many men believe they suffer from
premature ejaculation when in reality,
they possess perfectly average staying
power. It might surprise some men to learn
that the bulk of males can only last
somewhere in the region of 15 minutes
during fairly rigorous intercourse. Of
course there are exceptions, given that
there are lots of variables (such as
intensity of sex), but most men aren't
nearly as premature as they might think.
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POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 03-21-07 13:17pm
I dont know where you got that from, but
most reading Ive done stated that up that
up to 40% of males from 18-35 suffer from
premature ejaclation and 15 minutes is not
premature, try 2-4 minutes or less.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 03-21-07 13:35pm
POM82
wrote:
I dont know where you got
that from, but most reading Ive done
stated that up that up to 40% of males
from 18-35 suffer from premature
ejaclation and 15 minutes is not
premature, try 2-4 minutes or
less.
They didn't say 15 minutes was premature,
they said that 15 minutes was average.
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POM82
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 137 Location: Canada
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-21-07 14:02pm
Male Nurse
wrote:
It might surprise some men
to learn that the bulk of males can only
last somewhere in the region of 15 minutes
during fairly rigorous intercourse.
Thanks for that info, wow I feel as if my
PE problem is solved.
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quickie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2007 Posts: 6 Location: USA
Posted: 03-22-07 07:47am
It's not just the length of the sex.
Sometimes I can control myself to stop or
slow down when I feel the orgasm is
coming, so I can do it longer, but my
woman will lose interest in sex if I do
that a lot.
Male Nurse
wrote:
Many men believe they suffer
from premature ejaculation when in
reality, they possess perfectly average
staying power. It might surprise some men
to learn that the bulk of males can only
last somewhere in the region of 15 minutes
during fairly rigorous intercourse. Of
course there are exceptions, given that
there are lots of variables (such as
intensity of sex), but most men aren't
nearly as premature as they might
think.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-22-07 14:40pm
quickie
wrote:
It's not just the length of
the sex. Sometimes I can control myself to
stop or slow down when I feel the orgasm
is coming, so I can do it longer, but my
woman will lose interest in sex if I do
that a lot.
Male Nurse
wrote:
Many men believe they suffer
from premature ejaculation when in
reality, they possess perfectly average
staying power. It might surprise some men
to learn that the bulk of males can only
last somewhere in the region of 15 minutes
during fairly rigorous intercourse. Of
course there are exceptions, given that
there are lots of variables (such as
intensity of sex), but most men aren't
nearly as premature as they might
think.
<
span class="postbody">
Well the thing is, if your girl is getting
bored, then you're either taking too long
(quite the opposite of pe!) or you're not
paying enough attention to her needs.
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premature
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Oct 2006 Posts: 9
Posted: 03-29-07 08:58am
Those who say 15 minutes is average are
'showing off'.
Studies are more at an average of 5
minutes! And this is the average about all
over the world!
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Røyksopp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Mar 2007 Posts: 10
Posted: 04-02-07 15:46pm
Masturbating before you get together with
her is the optimal solution (at least in
my case). I was able to maintain a
constant erection for over 2 hours
(intercourse, handjob, blowjobs and other
fooling around) when i masturbated 2-3
hours before we ended up in bed.Highly
recommended. The ammount of control over
one's self is amazing.
That, or COMPLETELY relaxing your muscles
when you ejaculate the first time so the
orgasm is much less intense but the
erection doesnt die.
