Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
When Your Spouse Cheated... Posted: 03-21-07 13:23pm
my wife cheated. we are trying to work it
through. at this time we are not intimate
but, in the future we could be. my
question is this:
how to you get past the images of your
spouse with another person and be intimate
again?
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
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Thanked:1
Posted: 03-21-07 14:17pm
I voted "YES" but it would depend on the
circumstances....was it a one night thing
or an ongoing relationship (where you
found out and it stopped after going on
awhile), or is she/he in love with the
fling.
Getting that image out of your mind will
take some time, no doubt about that. I
guess it depends on how much love there is
in the relationship and if you truly want
to get past it.
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change is good
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Posted: 03-21-07 14:30pm
it was a one time thing. we are trying to
work things out.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 03-21-07 14:33pm
I just didn't think about it.I did at
first but it only makes things worse.I
think about the fact that he did cheat on
me (my ex) but I don't go as far anymore
to actually think and visualize him with
someone else.
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change is good
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Posted: 03-21-07 14:41pm
how did you get to that point. i can't
help but think it sometimes. it's
difficult to explain. if i don't stay
busy, those images just creep right in.
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mc4ever02
Supporter
Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
Thanks: 5
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Posted: 03-21-07 21:33pm
The only thing that will help is time.
When a significant other cheats it is a
betrayal. You can say that you forgive
them and mean it. But just because you
forgive does not mean you will forget.
Your trust has been broken and trust is a
very important part of a relationship. The
only thing that she can do is honestly put
in the time to rebuild the trust. It isn't
something that happens overnight. Sorry
that I couldn't be of more help. This is
just my take on the situation that
happened to me, so if you do not feel the
way that I have explained, then please
disregard.
I hope that you are feeling better soon!
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 03-22-07 08:42am
change is good
wrote:
how did you get to that
point. i can't help but think it
sometimes. it's difficult to explain. if i
don't stay busy, those images just creep
right in.
I know what you mean,it
just takes time.you just see the love you
have for the person more than the hurt
after a while.I just ignore images.
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change is good
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Posted: 03-22-07 10:15am
i hope it doesn't take too long. i see
everything now - not just the love.
my head is spinning so fast it's not even
funny. i want to hold her and push away
because it makes me sick to think that i
wasn't the last person she had sex with.
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DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-22-07 12:40pm
change is good
wrote:
i hope it doesn't take too
long. i see everything now - not just the
love.
my head is spinning so fast it's not even
funny. i want to hold her and push away
because it makes me sick to think that i
wasn't the last person she had sex
with.
Dave let me tell you that time will heal
the wounds, however you and the misses
turn out (together or divorced), and I
know that's not easy to hear and believe,
but trust me man....hopefully soon you'll
look back and be at peace with all that's
happened to you lately!
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change is good
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 112 Location: Mesa AZ.,
Posted: 03-22-07 13:08pm
thanks to everyone for your support. it
really helps.
