monkeygirl22
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You Know What angers Me Off...
Posted: 03-26-07 19:20pm
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People at work that think they know how I
should live my life. I am 22, almost 23
years old, and as you all know my dh and I
are ttc. We just had that early
miscarriage too. I was telling some girls
at work about it and one of them just
blurted out. I think you should just not
try and finish school first, on and on and
on. I really get pissed at people that
think they should try to tell me how to
live my life. The only people that say
these things to me are people that have
reasons to regret getting pregnant so
early. This particular girl just got
divorced last year. She is so anti love
right now that she just can't believe that
someone should trust their husband enough
to have a kid before school is over with.
Another girl who is bad about this is one
who got pregnant at 18 when she moved in
with her boyfriend. They did get married
and she had two more children with them
but she is still hell bent on telling me
that she knows what's best. I understand
that it will be harder to finish school
after I have a child but I know this is
the right time. I have prayed about this
for so long. I am going to finish school.
I wouldn't have spent all this money if I
wasn't planning on it. Actually, I only
plan to take one semester off for when we
have our baby. I don't know. I just needed
to vent.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-26-07 19:36pm
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I'm sorry that people think they have the
right to *know* what is best for you. I
think that you have a great plan. Allot of
people try to get pregnant while still in
school and go on to raise wonderful
child(ren) and finish school. I think it
may be harder if it were unplanned. But
you have a plan and you know what is best
for you. ( Something that no one else
knows! ) That is just possibly the most
selfish, insensitive thing I have heard of
someone saying to someone. Even more so
considering that you just experienced a
loss that they are aware of.
If it makes you feel any better I know how
it feels. I am 20 and a newlywed.
Evidently that means that I am to young
and have not experience enough of the
world to be in a position to plan a
pregnancy. Well they can all kiss my butt.
I have a plan, we are financial and
emotionally stable. We have been together
for almost 5 years. When I told my mom,
she said " I am so excited, if you need
any advice or just an ear let me know!"
That was all I needed. If my mom doesn't
have a problem I don't know how anyone
else could.
Hugs!
Last edited by mc4ever02 on 03-26-07 19:59pm; edited 1 time in total
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negar
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 278
Location: san francisco
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Ladies
Posted: 03-26-07 19:46pm
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As far as I am concerned, there are lots
of ignorant individuals that have so much
lack of confidance and control over theri
lifes and decisions, they tell you how to
live your life to make themselfs feel
better. Nobody but you can decide on
what is best for you. I think you two are
smart to begin a family now. If I knew
all that I know now at your age, I would
have done exactly the same. Next time
someone tells you how to live your life,
think twice about who it's coming from.
Unfortunately, there are also many
insensitive people around.
There are also good people, and so just
focus on them 
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monkeygirl22
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Posted: 03-26-07 19:52pm
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Thanks guys!
MC-I know just what you mean. My husband
and I have been together for five years as
well. We have only been married for one
year but I don't see that as a bad thing.
It's not like we are little kids trying to
keep our boyfriends. We are adults that
have planned things out. We prevented the
entire time we had sex until we knew we
were ready. Heck we double prevented. I
was on bcp and he wouldn't do anything
without a condom. On top of that, he
pulled out even though we used condoms. We
knew when we were not ready for a baby. We
could have handled but we knew it was best
to wait. I know that now more than ever is
the best time for us. They can all just
kiss my butt too.
Negar- I have tried to explain myself to
so many people but I am just not going to
do it anymore. I shouldn't have to do so.
I really don't care what any of them say.
They aren't true friends if they can't be
supportive.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-26-07 20:07pm
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Exactly! We used both the pill and condoms
until we decided that we would be thrilled
if it did happen. Then we just used the
pill. Then I went on some medicine that
would have been detrimental to a
pregnancy. So we went back to using both.
Now we have decided that we want a child
now. So we are using nothing. I just
wonder were all these people were when we
were being so responsible. No one ever
told me, wow how mature...your making the
right choices. Stay on that birth control!
So why do they care now? Sorry...that
kinda tuned into a vent. 
And I also agree with the point of us not
being children trying to keep our
significant others. My husband wants this
just as much as I do. It is something that
he is ready for (he will be 27 next
month). Yet no one has said anything
negative to him. Maybe they don't
understand that *I* will be the one he is
planning to have a child with. 
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monkeygirl22
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Posted: 03-26-07 20:30pm
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I totally feel your vent. My dh will be 25
in about a month. We are both well old
enough to handle this. How long have you
guys been married?
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-26-07 20:40pm
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Six months in a couple weeks. We were
together for 2 years before we got
engaged. And we were engaged for 2 years
before we got married. It was definitely
not something that we rushed into. He is
the love of my life. I am very fortunate
to have him in my life.
Have you already celebrated your first
anniversary or is it coming up?
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monkeygirl22
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Posted: 03-26-07 20:57pm
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Our first is in a little over a month, May
6th. He turns 25 the day after. We will be
in gulf shores at the beach on our
anniversary. Yeah...I can't wait!
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-26-07 21:08pm
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That sounds great! Nothing beats a few
days of fun in the sun!! Congrats on the
one year! He better get you something
good!
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Volaremos
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2006
Posts: 421
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Posted: 03-26-07 23:24pm
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| monkeygirl22
wrote: | | Our first is in a little
over a month, May 6th. He turns 25 the day
after. We will be in gulf shores at the
beach on our anniversary. Yeah...I can't
wait! |
Wow sounds exciting, Well girl enjoy every
bit of it. May be your anniversay + DH
birth day is going to bring a big big
suprise. Well i hope so & pray for it
too.
Try to forget about those annoying ppl,
who has done nothing right in their life
but still try to tell others how to live.
Hopeing & praying for a BFP for you
soon. HUGS
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*star*
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Posted: 03-27-07 11:21am
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| monkeygirl22
wrote: | | Our first is in a little
over a month, May 6th. He turns 25 the day
after. We will be in gulf shores at the
beach on our anniversary. Yeah...I can't
wait! |
That's awesome, our 1st anniversary is in
less than a month. Hopefully it will be
your lucky month like vol said while you
are away.
People have a habit of sticking their
noses in places where they do not belong.
I also agree with negar that sometimes
people are more concerned with other
peoples problems and issues than their
own, because they want to take the focus
off of themselves. They don't want to
have to look in the mirror and face their
own reality. It's sad really, but you
will always run into those kind of
poeple.
I don't think you are too young.
Personally I wanted to be married with
children at 25. Well that didn't happen.
I was in no shape, physically and
emotionally to have children at 25. I
didn't even get married until I was 28.
Now we are finally ready to settle down
and have a family. I wish I would have
settled myself down earlier, but better
late than never. Better to get them grown
while you are young.
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DLosGirl82
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Posts: 47
Location: NH
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Posted: 03-27-07 12:08pm
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Ya know, my friend and I were just talking
about this earlier today...Both of us (we
are both 25) are in the process of ttc,
and we have not one, but several coworkers
who just cannot seem to get that we are
adults and that we are perfectly capable
of making adult decisions. I can't tell
you how many times since I've been open
about wanting a baby I've been told "But
you're sooo young" or "Enjoy your life
first, then have kids". I actually feel
like I will truly begin to enjoy my life
when I have a family of my own! And 25
really isn't that young...its definitely
not too young to have a child. I've come
to the realization that people are going
to say what they're going to say...You
just have to stay strong and remind
yourself that they are not the ones
entitled to making the decision for you.
If you and your hubby are ready for a baby
then by all means, girly, keep trying!
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shortgeek
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006
Posts: 597
Location: DC
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Posted: 03-27-07 20:47pm
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I agree with you all.
mg - you shouldn't have to explain
yourself to anyone, no matter what their
past experiences were. You are ready to
have a baby when you believe you can offer
that child love, support, and a happy
home. People get to that point at
different points in their life.
I've known plenty of people who had babies
while still in school. Most during
graduate school, but still in school. I
think the stigma is very different for
women than for men. When a woman has a
baby right before comps, others say that
she is crazy and she won't be able to
handle it. When a man has a baby right
before comps, others say they hope he can
get out of the house for some peace and
quiet. I think the subtle difference is
the assumption that a man only has to turn
his back and he's unaffected, but a woman
is taking on too much to be a mom and a
student at the same time.
BTW, my second anniversary is May 7th. My
birthday is the following week, too. I
warned my husband about getting married so
close to Mother's Day. It will always be
hard to make reservations for an
anniversary dinner on the weekend around
our anniversary.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-28-07 08:28am
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| shortgeek
wrote: | | BTW, my second anniversary
is May 7th. My birthday is the following
week, too. I warned my husband about
getting married so close to Mother's Day.
It will always be hard to make
reservations for an anniversary dinner on
the weekend around our
anniversary. |
Did you tell him that you just want one
*really* good present for all the
occations. Or do you want seperate gifts
for each. That's a tough one. But I think
I would want something for each
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shortgeek
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006
Posts: 597
Location: DC
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Posted: 03-28-07 21:28pm
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I said we had to do something different
for each, but not that he had to get me
something different for each.
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mc4ever02
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Posted: 03-29-07 08:13am
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That's kinda what I meant. To me we
normally celebrate by going to dinner and
a movie or show. Thats my gift. I get to
pick
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shortgeek
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2006
Posts: 597
Location: DC
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Posted: 03-29-07 18:58pm
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I just don't want him to eventually get
lazy and use the proximity of the dates to
combine them all into one. I'd like each
acknowledged separately even if I don't
get separate gifts.
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megums1211
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2006
Posts: 883
Location: Ohio
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Posted: 04-03-07 18:34pm
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My husband and I just had our first and
I'm only 20. People said the exact same
things to me but I am so glad I had
Brianne now b/c I have time to wait
between kids. Like, I want to have my next
one when I'm 23, and the one after that
26, and maybe a 4th at 29. If I had waited
until I was older, I'd be well into my
30's before I was finished having kids.
All I can say is... Don't let someone else
tell you what is best for your family. I
knew that it was time for my dh and I to
have kids and I didn't listen to anyone
when they told me otherwise. Now, I have a
beautiful 4 1/2 mth old and life couldn't
be better! I'm so glad I
didn't listen.
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Volaremos
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2006
Posts: 421
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Posted: 04-03-07 22:54pm
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I wish if only i have decided to have a
baby early, I am due in Nov so i would be
nearly 27 when i have my first. I am so
praying for a happy & healthy baby.
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littlesqueaks
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 296
Location: Caldwell, Idaho
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Posted: 04-03-07 23:01pm
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I am 31 single mom of two boys been
divorced for 4 years and I am in my second
year of college. I regret not going to
school right out of high school but I made
that choice myself. It can be done (having
kids and going to school) Your mind is set
on it you will get it done and enjoy the
blessing of parenthood!!! You have had the
strength to endure what you have had to go
through so far you will have the strength
to accomplish anything.
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