Can a Jealous Relationship Work? Posted: 03-30-07 00:10am
i've been seeing my boyfriend for about 5
months now. from the very beginning he has
been clingy but, at that time.. i was
lonely and i found comfort in that. at
first, it was more cute clingy than
anything else. as time has gone on, i've
learned about how truely jealous and
possesive he is. i can't wear shorts in
the summer time. i can't go out with my
friends. i was forced to change my number.
i can't log onto any instant messengers
online. i've lost contact with all of my
friends because of how controlling he
is.... yet, i do love him alot. he admits
that he has a problem but, he isn't doing
much to change. he is also very angry and
physical. he has thrown chairs at me,
thrown objects around the house, punch
walls.. he does indirect physical things
to me, he'll bump into me really hard on
purpose.. or snatch something from me
really hard. he gets very emotional and
when he does he goes on an angry rampage.
we have more good days than bad but, not
by many. we argue at least 3 times a
week.. but, when i break up with him.. he
tells me that he's going to kill himself
and that he can't live without me and i
end up feeling very sorry for him. i love
him alot and i really want to make this
work but, is it even possible?
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Re: Can a Jealous Relationship Work? Posted: 03-30-07 02:43am
orthogirl
wrote:
i've been seeing my
boyfriend for about 5 months now. from the
very beginning he has been clingy but, at
that time.. i was lonely and i found
comfort in that. at first, it was more
cute clingy than anything else. as time
has gone on, i've learned about how truely
jealous and possesive he is. i can't wear
shorts in the summer time. i can't go out
with my friends. i was forced to change my
number. i can't log onto any instant
messengers online. i've lost contact with
all of my friends because of how
controlling he is.... yet, i do love him
alot. he admits that he has a problem but,
he isn't doing much to change. he is also
very angry and physical. he has thrown
chairs at me, thrown objects around the
house, punch walls.. he does indirect
physical things to me, he'll bump into me
really hard on purpose.. or snatch
something from me really hard. he gets
very emotional and when he does he goes on
an angry rampage. we have more good days
than bad but, not by many. we argue at
least 3 times a week.. but, when i break
up with him.. he tells me that he's going
to kill himself and that he can't live
without me and i end up feeling very sorry
for him. i love him alot and i really want
to make this work but, is it even
possible?
wow! Its viseversa for me.
Im really jealous and possesive to my
boyfriend. When my boyfreind trys to dump
me I try to kill me self too and he feels
bad for me. Except I dont throw things,
snatch things, bump into him, or break
things, ... I argue and yell really load.
We argue at least 5 times a week. I know
exactly how your boyfriend feels. right
now Im trying to read a book on
realationships by Dr. Phil called,
relationship rescue. when I ponder about
himm wanting to be with some slu!ty girl
that does not exist or when I ponder about
him not loving me any more I try to read
that book, but I am too depressed
sometimes to read it. Then I turn to my
paranoia stage. I finally admit that I'm
am jealous and possesive because my
boyfriend sad that If this dose not stop
he will disappear. That really scares me.
I personally really love him. So I am
trying. We have been together for 4 years.
So Im really trying. I think that your
boyfriend wants you to show him that you
love him. Encourage him that no one will
come between you guys and that he will
always be your boyfreind. Thats if you
really love himm. I hope my boyfriend
loves me after all this.
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 03-30-07 17:30pm
Ortho girl. Get out now. Many abused women
say they love their men, and take the
pounding of their lives. Get out now. You
are not really happy. He has managed to
make it so, he is the only one in your
life.
Get out now.
Reneblack. I had a girl friend exactly
like that. Worse two years of my life,
trying to get out of that relationship.
There is no excuse for your behaviour. You
need to get help and change it. You are
totally in the wrong.
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Posted: 04-02-07 23:42pm
Makoto
wrote:
Ortho girl. Get out now.
Many abused women say they love their men,
and take the pounding of their lives. Get
out now. You are not really happy. He has
managed to make it so, he is the only one
in your life.
Get out now.
Reneblack. I had a girl friend exactly
like that. Worse two years of my life,
trying to get out of that relationship.
There is no excuse for your behaviour. You
need to get help and change it. You are
totally in the
wrong.
what ever .
|
tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 04-07-07 14:15pm
For once I agree with makoto. Get out
now. This is a precursor to physical
abuse. Take it from someone that's been
there and was almost killed by a boyfriend
who did the same things in the beginning
that yours did. Run. I wish I had. It
would have saved me a lot of physical and
emotional pain. Because of the situation
that I ended up in with him I tried to
kill myself. I thank God everyday that I
didn't succeed. I won't get into the
details but I will say that you need to
Get away
from him. Peace of mind is better
than piece of man any day. If you feel
you can't go through it alone, tell
someone what's going on. A friend you can
trust, a family member. If needs be call
a domestic violence crisis line. Do whatever you
have to to get away. Do not accept this,
do not rationalize it. It can not be
rationalized. His behavior is not sane or
normal. Trust me honey, you deserve
better.
|
BridgetC87
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Oct 2006 Posts: 38 Location: California
Posted: 04-07-07 14:29pm
i agree, you dont want to be in an abusive
relationship, (or a bad one for that
matter) i was in an abusive relationship
for over a year and he was extremely
abusive and killed my self esteem. trust
me it sucked. i lost all of my friends and
their respect because of it. it got so bad
that he hit one time while we were in the
car, and i was driving, and i crashed my
car. it was totaled and i finally got
away, because it opened my eyes to what
was going on. please leave him. you will
be so much happier. i am, and there are
sooooo many good guys out there that are
just waiting to meet a girl and treat her
good.
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Posted: 04-08-07 02:51am
Makoto
wrote:
Ortho girl. Get out now.
Many abused women say they love their men,
and take the pounding of their lives. Get
out now. You are not really happy. He has
managed to make it so, he is the only one
in your life.
Get out now.
Reneblack. I had a girl friend exactly
like that. Worse two years of my life,
trying to get out of that relationship.
There is no excuse for your behaviour. You
need to get help and change it. You are
totally in the
wrong.
Im the one thats trying to change. Me
and my boyfriend are doing ok and we are
trying to have a baby. He wants one.
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 04-08-07 09:25am
[quote]For once I agree with makoto. Get
out now. This is a precursor to physical
abuse. Take it from someone that's been
there and was almost killed by a boyfriend
who did the same things in the beginning
that yours did. Run. I wish I had. It
would have saved me a lot of physical and
emotional pain. Because of the situation
that I ended up in with him I tried to
kill myself. I thank god everyday that I
didn't succeed. I won't get into the
details but I will say that you need to
get away from him. Peace of mind is better
than piece of man any day. If you feel you
can't go through it alone, tell someone
what's going on. A friend you can trust, a
family member. If needs be call a domestic
violence crisis line. do whatever you have
to to get away. Do not accept this, do not
rationalize it. It can not be
rationalized. His behavior is not sane or
normal. Trust me honey, you deserve
better. [quote/]
One of the best posts on these forums.
Listen up you jealous people, you think
you are doing nothing wrong. Jealousy is
wrong. Plain and simple. Than can be no
justification for being jealous. All men
and women who verbally, phyisically, and
emotional abuse their partners, thing
being jealous is totally fine. It is not.
Reneblack. Accept you have problems, and
it is you that allow yourself to get angry
over things. Do not always place the
blame. Your "what ever" comment is so
typical of a person who does not want to
take responsibility for their actions.
Jealousy is a nothing more than an
emotional reaction which occurs when you
desire to control another's person
behaviour. When you try to make them
conform to your way of thinking.
Jealous men and women should really seek
help.
|
Birch
Moderator
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3966 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 129
Thanked:12
Re: Can a Jealous Relationship Work? Posted: 04-08-07 09:55am
orthogirl
wrote:
i've been seeing my
boyfriend for about 5 months now. from the
very beginning he has been clingy but, at
that time.. i was lonely and i found
comfort in that. at first, it was more
cute clingy than anything else. as time
has gone on, i've learned about how truely
jealous and possesive he is. i can't wear
shorts in the summer time. i can't go out
with my friends. i was forced to change my
number. i can't log onto any instant
messengers online. i've lost contact with
all of my friends because of how
controlling he is.... yet, i do love him
alot. he admits that he has a problem but,
he isn't doing much to change. he is also
very angry and physical. he has thrown
chairs at me, thrown objects around the
house, punch walls.. he does indirect
physical things to me, he'll bump into me
really hard on purpose.. or snatch
something from me really hard. he gets
very emotional and when he does he goes on
an angry rampage. we have more good days
than bad but, not by many. we argue at
least 3 times a week.. but, when i break
up with him.. he tells me that he's going
to kill himself and that he can't live
without me and i end up feeling very sorry
for him. i love him alot and i really want
to make this work but, is it even
possible?
This is an abusive relationship already.
You are being abused. Emotional abuse
(the controlling, the manipulation) is
here. Physical abuse is here. Do not
minimize this; YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. Get
out of this relationship. You are not
responsible for his behavior (the suicide
threats). If he threatens suicide, call
the police; it's part of their job to pick
them up and take them to the hospital.
Then, get a restraining order. Do not
minimize what he's doing to you!!!
Please, please don't get locked into a
situation and get harmed from it further.
Read some books or online articles about
abuse.
wow! Its viseversa for me.
Im really jealous and possesive to my
boyfriend. When my boyfreind trys to dump
me I try to kill me self too and he feels
bad for me. Except I dont throw things,
snatch things, bump into him, or break
things, ... I argue and yell really load.
We argue at least 5 times a week. I know
exactly how your boyfriend feels. right
now Im trying to read a book on
realationships by Dr. Phil called,
relationship rescue. when I ponder about
himm wanting to be with some slu!ty girl
that does not exist or when I ponder about
him not loving me any more I try to read
that book, but I am too depressed
sometimes to read it. Then I turn to my
paranoia stage. I finally admit that I'm
am jealous and possesive because my
boyfriend sad that If this dose not stop
he will disappear. That really scares me.
I personally really love him. So I am
trying. We have been together for 4 years.
So Im really trying. I think that your
boyfriend wants you to show him that you
love him. Encourage him that no one will
come between you guys and that he will
always be your boyfreind. Thats if you
really love himm. I hope my boyfriend
loves me after all this.
It is great that you recognize your
issues! I hope that you take it one step
further and see a therapist.
|
reneblack
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2006 Posts: 247 Location: A beautiful place, CA-USA
Re: Can a Jealous Relationship Work? Posted: 04-08-07 18:18pm
Birch
wrote:
orthogirl
wrote:
i've been seeing my
boyfriend for about 5 months now. from the
very beginning he has been clingy but, at
that time.. i was lonely and i found
comfort in that. at first, it was more
cute clingy than anything else. as time
has gone on, i've learned about how truely
jealous and possesive he is. i can't wear
shorts in the summer time. i can't go out
with my friends. i was forced to change my
number. i can't log onto any instant
messengers online. i've lost contact with
all of my friends because of how
controlling he is.... yet, i do love him
alot. he admits that he has a problem but,
he isn't doing much to change. he is also
very angry and physical. he has thrown
chairs at me, thrown objects around the
house, punch walls.. he does indirect
physical things to me, he'll bump into me
really hard on purpose.. or snatch
something from me really hard. he gets
very emotional and when he does he goes on
an angry rampage. we have more good days
than bad but, not by many. we argue at
least 3 times a week.. but, when i break
up with him.. he tells me that he's going
to kill himself and that he can't live
without me and i end up feeling very sorry
for him. i love him alot and i really want
to make this work but, is it even
possible?
This is an abusive relationship already.
You are being abused. Emotional abuse
(the controlling, the manipulation) is
here. Physical abuse is here. Do not
minimize this; YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. Get
out of this relationship. You are not
responsible for his behavior (the suicide
threats). If he threatens suicide, call
the police; it's part of their job to pick
them up and take them to the hospital.
Then, get a restraining order. Do not
minimize what he's doing to you!!!
Please, please don't get locked into a
situation and get harmed from it further.
Read some books or online articles about
abuse.
wow! Its viseversa for me.
Im really jealous and possesive to my
boyfriend. When my boyfreind trys to dump
me I try to kill me self too and he feels
bad for me. Except I dont throw things,
snatch things, bump into him, or break
things, ... I argue and yell really load.
We argue at least 5 times a week. I know
exactly how your boyfriend feels. right
now Im trying to read a book on
realationships by Dr. Phil called,
relationship rescue. when I ponder about
himm wanting to be with some slu!ty girl
that does not exist or when I ponder about
him not loving me any more I try to read
that book, but I am too depressed
sometimes to read it. Then I turn to my
paranoia stage. I finally admit that I'm
am jealous and possesive because my
boyfriend sad that If this dose not stop
he will disappear. That really scares me.
I personally really love him. So I am
trying. We have been together for 4 years.
So Im really trying. I think that your
boyfriend wants you to show him that you
love him. Encourage him that no one will
come between you guys and that he will
always be your boyfreind. Thats if you
really love himm. I hope my boyfriend
loves me after all this.
It is great that you recognize your
issues! I hope that you take it one step
further and see a
therapist.
<
span class="postbody">
i already did and I agree.
Im really jealous and possesive to my
boyfriend. When my boyfreind trys to dump
me I try to kill me self too and he feels
bad for me. Except I dont throw things,
snatch things, bump into him, or break
things, ... I argue and yell really load.
We argue at least 5 times a week. I know
exactly how your boyfriend feels. right
now Im trying to read a book on
realationships by Dr. Phil called,
relationship rescue. when I ponder about
himm wanting to be with some slu!ty girl
that does not exist or when I ponder about
him not loving me any more I try to read
that book, but I am too depressed
sometimes to read it. Then I turn to my
paranoia stage. I finally admit that I'm
am jealous and possesive because my
boyfriend sad that If this dose not stop
he will disappear. That really scares me.
I personally really love him. So I am
trying. We have been together for 4 years.
So Im really trying. I think that your
boyfriend wants you to show him that you
love him. Encourage him that no one will
come between you guys and that he will
always be your boyfreind. Thats if you
really love himm. I hope my boyfriend
loves me after all this. 
what ever .
Me
and my boyfriend are doing ok and we are
trying to have a baby. He wants one.
