Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4470 Location: Illinois,
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I Think It's Over. Posted: 04-02-07 15:34pm
chris & i had a huge talk last night.
he still isn't happy. he said i have done
so amazing at changing my ways & that
i have really changed for the better, but
it's just not making him any happier &
he still doesn't want to be with me.
we both cried a lot.
he said he loves me & he cares about
me & that he'll never leave me because
he feels bad & doesn't want to abandon
me & .gabe.. but i don't think i want
him to stick around if that's the case. it
hurts me so bad every single day knowing
that he doesn't want to be with me.
we get along fine & we have fun. he
just isn't interested, anymore. he doesn't
feel the same way he used to. & .he
said he tries, but you can't force
feelings, ya know? i'm not mad at him. he
can't help how he feels.
he said he'll stay with me. but the
decision is mine.
i don't know what to do.
i told him today that i think in a few
weeks, when .gabe is a little bit older
& a little easier to take care of,
he's free to go.
nothing is 100%, yet. but i think that's
my only option.
i can't keep him with me just because i
.love him.. if he isn't interested in me,
that's not way to live. it's not a real
family & it's not fair for any of us.
i hate this.
i can't imagine being without him & it
hurts so bad. i would give anything to
make him love me again. the way he used
to. maybe if we break up, he'll realize he
does want to be with me. it's wishful
thinking, but still.. maybe he just needs
a reminder..
i hate this.
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Emma2
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
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Posted: 04-02-07 15:38pm
oh god this totally bites girl. I am truly
deeply sorry.
I think you are making the wisest decison.
You wont be comfortable with him and
besides why fake it? It's not healthy for
anyone including.Gabe.
Sweetheart, set him free and if its meant
to be he will be back. Trust me , i know
its cliche but its so true. Hugs
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mc4ever02
Supporter
Joined: 08 Feb 2007 Posts: 3636 Location: Orlando, FL Usa
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Posted: 04-02-07 15:48pm
I am so sorry. Unfortunatly, sometimes
people just grow apart. I am sure that he
still loves you. It is a good thing that
he is being open and honest. Maybe after
you spend some time apart he will change
his mind. But I agree with you that you
shouldn't make him stay. It is noble of
him to want to stay to spite his feelings,
but that doesn't make it right. It sounds
like even if he is not living with you
that he will still be there for you and
Gabe. I am just so sorry that you have to
go through this. Big Big Big hugs!
aww omg im sooooooooooo sorry to here
that, idont know what to say to help you,
i have my own drama going on right now and
too much of it i cant take it. but you
gotta do what u gotta do, stayin together
just cuz u have a kid doesnt make anything
better. if anything it would make it
worse. im here for ya if u ever need to
talk
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 04-02-07 16:20pm
Oh, Krissy I'm really sorry to hear this
awful news. I think the way you are
approaching it is very mature though.
Many women would be so devastated they
would not handle it well at all, you are
giving him the choice to do what he wants,
and for now what is best for you and .Gabe
too.
It doesn't make it any easier to deal with
I'm sure. You seem to be a strong young
woman, and you are so smart. Your a great
mom and you'll be fine.
Maybe after he leaves he will miss you and
.Gabe so much that he will come crawling
back and everything will be ok.
Good luck, though you probably won't need
it at all
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006 Posts: 5041 Location: to hell with this crap
Posted: 04-02-07 16:38pm
Krissy, I am really sorry to hear about
that, but let me be the first to say, that
as babies get older it doesn't get any
easier. I thought it would too, but it
doesn't, you need to just go ahead and let
him make up his mind...I haate to say
it!!!!!!!!! everything will work it's
self out in the long run...it's hard
now...but it will work out, eventually.
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arcadia
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Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4470 Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 04-02-07 16:47pm
i know it's not going to get easier. i
just mean that maybe hopefully he'll start
sleeping through the night. he's still so
little & it's still all very new. we
haven't had time to really get adjusted.
that why i think i am going to wait a few
weeks before i break up with him.
i know i seem like .i'm handling it well,
but .i'm really not.
i can't deal with this. it's too hard
& it hurts too bad.
i have been an absolute mess since last
night.
i can't function. i can't eat. i just sit
here.
staring at nothing. on the verge of
tears.
thinking way too much about way too many
things.
i don't want to be without him. i don't
think i can do it.
When I saw the myspace bulletin you
posted, I feared this is what had happened
and I really hoped it wasn't the case. I'm
sure there's nothing I can say that will
make you feel better right now, but I want
you to know that I'm here for you.. we all
are.
Nancy is right though.. you need to set
him free. I'm sorry it's gotten this bad
though hun, I really am.
.krissy,
i am in a simialr situation. mike and i
are on a "break". its really hard for me,
im back at my parents house, and i really
miss him. i am basically waiting for his
"decision" on us, how pathetic is that?
having a baby has kind of destroyed our
relationship, as awful as that sounds.
dont get me wrong i love my son more than
anything...but yeah, i got sick of being
the mature one, and mike gets to do
whatever he wants. i left, but i only
planned on a few days, and now he says we
"need time apart" , and its really not
looking good, but i am not going to beg
him to stay with me, i wont stoop down to
that level.
anyway, as for the sleeping thing, Trace
is almost 11 months, and still wakes about
2 times a night, so dont count on the
sleeping through the night thing. its
terrible.
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arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4470 Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 04-02-07 17:22pm
how did it come to this? seriously. my
life is just completely crumbling right
now. i feel so helpless & tired &
i don't want to do this anymore.
i can totally relate. i *never* imagined
myself as a single mom. i always pictured
us as a happy family. but right now things
are not looking good. basically though, i
have to stay strong for my son. he is the
only thing that is helping me through this
right now...otherwise i would be crying
24/7. he brings joy to my heart. i dont
know what will happen with us. but i know
i can do it alone if it comes down to it,
and i know you can too.
.Krissy, im living in elgin now...how far
away is moline?
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 04-02-07 17:57pm
I hate to ask this but are you sure that
it's about you guys and not about him
secretly freaking over the baby?
Sometimes men freak about babies. It's
not that they don't love their children
it's just that they feel overwhelmed. We
seem to come to terms with parenthood and
accept responsibility more easily than
they do. Maybe he just needs some
breathing room?
I'm sorry that this is happening to you
right now. It's one of the worst feelings
in the world, I know. I'm wishing you all
the best and praying for you. But if he
truly feels the way that he says then
you're doing the right thing and you and
Gabe will be better off in the long run.
You're right, it's not fair to any of you.
You deserve someone who loves you and
accepts you just the way you are and Gabe
deserves to see you in a relationship
where someone loves you without any
strings attached.
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Emma2
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Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
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Posted: 04-02-07 18:08pm
Sweety, please go see your dr. because
this can bring on depression and being a
new mom you have higher chances of
depression now. I know it's hard we have
all been there at some point. There are
days where i am totally alone with my son
and i basically raise him as a single mom.
I hope you realize we all understand that
its easier said than done but you are a
strong girl and you need to give yourself
more credit. Like Nat said ...your son
will be the light of your life and he will
bring you joy but if you let this get you
down your new baby will feel it...Stay
focused on Gabe he needs you more than
anything in the world.
first, i'm really sorry this is happening
to you krissy. you can always talk to me
on msn, through pm's, myspace, whatever,
about anything anytime you want. i pretty
much live on the computer.
second, this is how i would deal with it.
i would tell him i wasn't going to beg him
to stay, not even ask him to. i'd be way
too proud to have a boy around that didn't
truely want to be with me. then i'd tell
him he's making a huge mistake because he
is going to miss out on a great girl, and
he's going to miss so many moments in his
son's life. i'd tell him i feel sorry for
him because he's giving up a really good
thing and he's not going to be able to
take back his decision and that you will
find someone else one day and you and gabe
will be and fine and you will be happy.
then i'd do things to get myself together,
to get myself happy. put a little time
into yourself as well as taking care of
gabe. work out, get a hobby, do things
that make you feel good and distract you
from these things. krissy this may sound
bad or something but seriously he's
basically already gone. just because he's
physically there doesn't mean anything
when his heart isn't with you and gabe,
and there is no point living like that.
if i was you i wouldn't wait for him to
make a decision but tell him you deserve
better and you won't sit around waiting
for him to grow up and (i know this might
seem impossible) go on with your life. it
might be hard but if this was me i would
want to be the strong person, not the one
who needs the other one to be okay. you
will be fine and you will be a good mother
no matter what happens with you and chris.
i love you.
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arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4470 Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 04-02-07 18:39pm
Nataliachick7
wrote:
.Krissy, im living in elgin
now...how far away is
moline?
3 hours, i think?
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10814 Location: ,
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Posted: 04-02-07 18:42pm
i'm so sorry, krissy. i know it must hurt
beyond belief right now but you're a
strong woman and i know you'll get through
this.
don't hesitate to call your doctor if you
feel you need help.
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arcadia
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Joined: 06 May 2006 Posts: 4470 Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 04-02-07 20:22pm
thanks, guys.
i'm doing okay i guess.
we talked some more.
he said he thinks that maybe if he has
some space & we take a break, he'll
realize that he does really want to be
with me & that he just needs that
space to realize it. i think he might be
right. i really don't believe that no part
of him wants to be with me. i know what we
have is real. i know it. i feel it. i've
lived it. i really seriously believe that
we're meant to be together. & .if it
takes breaking up for a while for him to
realize it.. then .i'm fine with giving
him some space. we've been so caught up
for so many months. with stress & with
the pregnancy, & with .gabe, & my
parents & not to mention living with
my parents..
maybe this will be a good thing.
sigh.
he said he wants to move out tonight. but
he said that isn't right, so he's staying.
he said the "break" will start when he
moves out. which i don't know when he's
planning on doing.
he said he thinks that maybe if he has
some space & we take a break, he'll
realize that he does really want to be
with me & that he just needs that
space to realize it. i think he might be
right. i really don't believe that no part
of him wants to be with me. i know what we
have is real. i know it. i feel it. i've
lived it. i really seriously believe that
we're meant to be together. & .if it
takes breaking up for a while for him to
realize it.. then .i'm fine with giving
him some space. we've been so caught up
for so many months. with stress & with
the pregnancy, & with .gabe, & my
parents & not to mention living with
my parents..
maybe this will be a good thing.
sigh.
he said he wants to move out tonight. but
he said that isn't right, so he's staying.
he said the "break" will start when he
moves out. which i don't know when he's
planning on
doing.
man....exact same situation....ugh.
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 04-02-07 20:30pm
arcadia
wrote:
thanks, guys.
i'm doing okay i guess.
we talked some more.
he said he thinks that maybe if he has
some space & we take a break, he'll
realize that he does really want to be
with me & that he just needs that
space to realize it. i think he might be
right. i really don't believe that no part
of him wants to be with me. i know what we
have is real. i know it. i feel it. i've
lived it. i really seriously believe that
we're meant to be together. & .if it
takes breaking up for a while for him to
realize it.. then .i'm fine with giving
him some space. we've been so caught up
for so many months. with stress & with
the pregnancy, & with .gabe, & my
parents & not to mention living with
my parents..
maybe this will be a good thing.
sigh.
he said he wants to move out tonight. but
he said that isn't right, so he's staying.
he said the "break" will start when he
moves out. which i don't know when he's
planning on
doing.
Krissy, I know you may not want to hear
this...but when he goes don't plan your
life around him coming back. I'm not
saying that he won't come back. Just make
sure that your focus is on you and gabe.
Do things just for yourself and do things
just for gabe. If there's a hobby that
you always wanted to try, go for it! Take
the baby to some mommy and me classes.
Get out and get some air. join an
exercise class, make some new mommy
friends. That'll keep your mind off of
things and make you feel better. And keep
your options open!!!!!
