have recently broke up with my bf after
like a year, and I dunno how to feel.
Sometimes I am really good, others I am so
depressed I cant stop crying, I keep on
seeing things that remind me of him, or
hear songs or certain places that wind me
up. I try to go out and get my head of
things,but itsnot happening.
He had self-harm issues. There where a few
occasions when he never got his way (For
example, if I talked flirtaciously with a
friend of mine, refused to speak to him
because we where argueing) that he would
cut, bite or hurt himself. Sometimes he
even performed these things infront of me,
and at times threatened to kill himself.
He was also rather violent towards me. He
spat in my face a few times, grabbed my
side so hard that it bruised entirely,
punched me because he was being cheeky, so
I was cheeky back,we knocked the hell
outta each other twice (the first time I
wanted to go home, he pushed me, screamed
in my ear, shook me and wouldnt let me go,
so I defended myself, the second I ended
up in hospital with a black eye, it
started becasue he punched me. I hit him
back, AND HE PHONED THE POLICE), He full
scale booted me infront off his best mate
when we went camping, becasue I spoke to
his friend and not to him cus where
argueing, threatned to smash a mirror over
my face and tried to burn my face with GHD
straighteners, again,becasue I wanted to
go home as things where getting too much.
He also pushed me oncewhen I touched his
facewith wax byaccident and I fellout the
door. He hated me going out by myself
without him, and mademe feel guiltyall the
time, and unless I texted him throughout
the night, would start an arguemtn the day
after. He also went nuts at me for
watching on porn my computer, but doesnt
everyone, lol? He put me down an awful
lot, calling my stupied or pathetic, even
typing the words hurts.
He blamed me for his actions, casue I
drove him crazy etc. He has trust issues.
I didnt tell him bout talking to my ex, as
he would get the wrong end of the stick,
and told him it was weird seeing him with
anohter person (when I saw him for the
first time after the split), but we did
talk, not bout us, just bout the youth
club we both attended. I made up a few wee
fibs, bout sleeping with someone he used
to like and I didnt tell him my true a
level grades, casue he was so smart and I
felt daft on our first date.But helied
bout weesilly things too and they didnt
annoy me. The first time he grabbed meand
hurt me was when I was honest to him bout
not sleeping with the guy and talking to
Andi. But after that, its hard to turst
anyone who hurts you, took me a few days
to realise what he did to me was wrong. I
confided in my friends about some of the
things that happened and he went MAD at
me,but you need to talk, and he washard to
talk with with that temper.
But we are broke up now and things are
hard. He did treat me bad. But its hard
for me. I wanted to help himin the way I
couldnt my brother (who commitedsuicide a
few years ago). And now I have to go out
each week and face him in the one gay bar
that we have, its so hard. How doya get
over something like this, I miss him so
much at times it hurts. And hes always in
town as well wheich makesit harder, lol.
Well things have came to an all time level
of madness. The gay scene and town over
here are so small here and I am sick of
hearing about him and seeing him. I cant
go into the town without him being there
and it just makes me ill seeing him,
hearing about him, hismates talking about
me, ignoring me (even though they are
MEANT tobe mates with me) etc etc etc
I have started going to counselling and
although its helping me. Its gonna be a
nightmare to get over unless I dont have
to see him all the time for a while. Ihave
learned that I was mentally abusedand left
with a lot of baggage that is hurtiong and
stressing me out so much.
My aunt over in Leicester asked me to move
over a few years ago, and I have now took
her up on her offer. I am moving over in a
month for a few monthes/a year to the
dismay of my family and friends. I am
slowly moving past him, but moving away
would be a good decision me thinks. I have
always wanted to move away anyways but got
caught up in things, and I am bored here
where I live, and its bout time for a
change.
Am just really scared, have never fended
for myself before and itsgonabe such a
ratical change, but thats good surely?
It hurts causeon saturday I told him
exactly what he did to me and how much of
a bad person he is (made a little scene),
but why do all his mates think hes such a
nice guy, makes me think its all myfault,
and he seems to be coping fine...
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 04-03-07 05:07am
just remember you are one of the luck
ones. He did not kill you or scar you up
for life. Remember to remember all the
little warning signs and try not to get
involved with another guy like him.
Pick you men more carefully. There are
certain behaviours that should be a
warning sign. Jealousy is one big one. How
does he handle it?? What does he say and
do. When he argues with you, does he name
call you down to the dirt. The first time
any man does that to you, maybe you should
take the hint and get out before words
turn to sticks and stones.
Some people think it is okay to get
jealous. Yeah right. Jealousy is only the
emotion that comes about when you can not
control the behaviour of some one you wish
to control. There is not excuse to get
jealous and no one makes you jealous. You
allow yourself to get jealous.
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 04-04-07 14:39pm
Wow,I didn't even have to read that entire
story to know you need to just stay away
and le yourself heal.that i *not* the kind
of man you need around you.he is
controlling and abusive and you deserve
better than that.I use to be in a similar
position but my ex drank too and that made
him angry and uncontrollable.there is no
reason for him to act the way he does
toward you.stay away from him.find hobbies
or hang out with friends.go out to a
club,do somethign for yourself but for
heavens sake do not go near that man! you
cannot help someone like that,only they
can change themselves dear.He is very
damngerous and can't be trusted.I know
exactly how you feel.I was in and out of
my relationship for hmmmmm,almost a year
and he could have killed me.once you give
yourslef time and let everything out,cry
is needed time will heal your wounds.You
probably wil be scarred by this but don't
let him ruin things for you.I just hope
you learned the signs of an abusor so you
wont make a mistake of dating one again.if
you need to talk or need help knowing the
signs pm me and i'll be glad to help you!
