I have a 11 month old girl named Jaylee
and she has been a wonderful baby, but now
I have my husband wanting to have another
one because she was so good and he thinks
the closeness in age would be good. I
have a completely different opinion. I
think I have one good child why would I
have another that would not be this good.
I am completely content to just have one
child. How do I get over the fear to have
another baby? I always thought I would
have two children but not anymore.
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ladylee70
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Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 04-03-07 17:03pm
Personal opinion: wait until you have the
desire! I think your personal desire to
have another child will override your fear
- the desire will take over. Perhaps you
are not ready.
I wasn't ready yet when my child was that
young. I became ready a few months ago,
which is why I am 24 weeks pregnant now.
My child is 3 1/2 years old and will be 4
years old when this one is due. I still
can't imagine loving another child as much
as I love my little guy but people say you
can. My little guy was such a good baby
but then came the curious threes!! He is
still good but WOW - what a difference. As
our little one got older, we realized that
his little personality would do well with
a sibling and that it wouldn't be fair to
him to not have a sibling. He is just too
social and constantly craves being around
children. Our desire became so strong.
On the other hand, my brother and his wife
have a three year old and have elected not
to have any more children. He is a great
child, too and will be a great child as an
only child.
Please don't force yourself to want
another child. I believe the desire will
come when it is the right time, if it is
ever the right time. You and your husband
are not on the same page as this but I
heard that is common. Luckily you control
the birth control:).
I do sometimes wish my little ones would
be closer in age so they can find more
things to do together. Then I realize that
I personally would have a difficult time
dealing with two kids in diapers - what a
lot of poo!
I can just think of more positives then
negatives to only having one child. And
maybe these list's in my head will change
but at the moment one is the total way to
go. I am just getting tired of having
others always ask when is number two going
to be on its way. When I say we are only
having one I get a look of discuss and
then a "you cannot have only one, the only
child never turns out normal". This
frustrates me and make's me only want to
have one child.
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AyaMiyaki
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jun 2006 Posts: 8222 Location: Floating on a cloud, United States
Thanks: 159
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Posted: 04-03-07 19:00pm
I grew up an only child. I was extremely
lonely. I missed out on so many things,
and I still do (.i'll never be a blood
aunt, for example).
This is the primary reason .i've decided
to have another child someday. My daughter
is a handful already, but I refuse to risk
her feeling even a fraction of what I did.
Of course, .i'm not telling you that you
should have another child if you don't
feel ready. I just wanted to share my
experience.
Thanks for your advise I have never really
thought of that. I come from a family of
4 so to be an auntie was just part and
parcel. But for Jaylee to be an only child
that would definitely be on the negative
side.
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ladylee70
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2006 Posts: 1912 Location: Boise, Idaho,
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Posted: 04-03-07 19:16pm
I grew up "sort of" like an only child as
well. My brothers are 14 and 13 years old
and my sisters are 7 and 14 years younger
and lived with our father (different
mother). I was a very lonely child,
especially until I was 9 years old and we
moved to a neighborhood with other kids my
age. I vowed that "if" I ever had kids, I
would have more than one.
On the other hand, my childhood friend
that was an only child and liked it. She
is now highly successful and still just as
sweet as ever. I have heard the only child
comment many times toward my brother.
I think people have such strong emotions
based on their personal experiences. I am
sorry people treat you that way based on
your current decision. I say current
because you may or may not change your
mind. Hang in there and perhaps try to
come up with some witty comment to people
who say these things to you. I can't think
of anything, though.
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Emma2
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 May 2006 Posts: 4406 Location: Montreal, Canada
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Posted: 04-04-07 09:29am
you know what is really funny people that
assume every child they'll have will be
the same. Just because your daughter was
an excellent baby does not mean your
others will be like her. The point is
babies are individuals . I feel the same
way about having another child but i agree
so much with laura and i think i will end
up having at least one more for the sake
of my son. Think about it...there is no
rush....good luck
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Ingi
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8724 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 156
Thanked:189
Posted: 04-04-07 09:46am
Emma2
wrote:
you know what is really
funny people that assume every child
they'll have will be the same. Just
because your daughter was an excellent
baby does not mean your others will be
like her. The point is babies are
individuals . I feel the same way about
having another child but i agree so much
with laura and i think i will end up
having at least one more for the sake of
my son. Think about it...there is no
rush....good
luck
Oh girl! This is so true! My children we
soo, soo different. One slept through the
night, the other didn't. One ate well, the
other didn't. One grew up and was a hell
raiser, the other has been a complete
angel.
Kids are kids and they are different.
However, if you are not ready to have
another child. Don't have one just yet.
Doctors recommend waiting 1 year before
getting pregnant again because it takes
that long for your body to adjust to the
demands of motherhood and to recover from
the pregnancy.
Plus, you have additional things going on
right now, right? This is not a decision
that needs to be made right away.
