Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices? Posted: 04-04-07 15:59pm
Currently my girl friend is highly
considering abortion. I love her so much
and I know and always knew (even before
the pregnancy) that she is my soul mate.
I'm afraid though that if she makes this
decision to kill the baby our relationship
will be hurt. I want nothing more than
for her to have the baby. Does anyone
know any good reading on this subject that
I can check out at the library? Fiction
or non-fiction I'm looking for all the
help I can get.
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ebarnhard33
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Joined: 08 Nov 2006 Posts: 541 Location: Denver, CO
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Posted: 04-04-07 16:01pm
You might want to post this in the
abortion forum...
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 04-04-07 16:03pm
Please keep posts about abortion in the
relevant forum and not the pregnancy
forums - thanks
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Tyrohvirgel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 04-04-07 16:03pm
thanks ebarn...im still very new here
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Tylanas
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Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices? Posted: 04-04-07 16:21pm
Tyrohvirgel
wrote:
Currently my girl friend is
highly considering abortion. I love her
so much and I know and always knew (even
before the pregnancy) that she is my soul
mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes
this decision to kill the baby our
relationship will be hurt. I want nothing
more than for her to have the baby. Does
anyone know any good reading on this
subject that I can check out at the
library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm
looking for all the help I can
get.
First, an abortion is her
choice, not yours.
WHy do you want her to have this baby so
badly? Are you going to marry her? Are you
going to be there every single day to feed
the baby at 3 am when she is tired? Will
you help raise this baby until it is 18,
and then help pay for his/her college
stint? You need to think about all of
these things. I hate it when boyfriends
push their girlfriends to give birth, and
then abandon them when the going gets
tough. It happens way more often than you
think.
Secondly, you have to consider her
feelings about being pregnant and about
the birthing process. It is extremely
uncomfortable to be pregnant, and
exceedingly painful to give birth.
Are you simply against abortion? If so,
perhaps you can convince her to giv the
baby up for adoption, if neither of you
are in the financial position to raise the
child.
And that's another thing: Money, housing,
food. Can you supply these things, you and
her together? Diapers are expensive and
you go through them very fast.
Just think about these things before you
try to convince your girlfriend to do
something she clearly doesn't want to do.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices? Posted: 04-04-07 17:12pm
Tyrohvirgel
wrote:
Currently my girl friend is
highly considering abortion. I love her
so much and I know and always knew (even
before the pregnancy) that she is my soul
mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes
this decision to kill the baby our
relationship will be hurt. I want nothing
more than for her to have the baby. Does
anyone know any good reading on this
subject that I can check out at the
library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm
looking for all the help I can
get.
My husband and I chose an
abortion and we couldn't be more close.
It was a rough time but it was the best
decision for all of us. Our relationship
actually became much stronger because we
were able to honestly talk to one another
about our future together - what we both
wanted, when we wanted it, our fears, our
hopes, etc. We had always assumed that
the other wanted to have children after
graduating from college but after talking
about it, we realized that we actually
want to wait much longer than that.
This is a good time for you to talk,
honestly, and to actually listen to your
girlfriend about where you see yourself
and where you see the relationship in the
future. Good communication, while
difficult and sometimes uncomfortable,
only makes the relationship stronger.
There's a workbook that your girlfriend
and you can go through together. Make
sure you type it into your browser or
search engine all in lower case.
http://www.pregnan
cyoptions.info/pregnant.htm
In the end, this is her decision to make
and you shouldn't try to force her to make
one decision over another. You should
support her even if that means biting your
tongue and helping her through the
abortion. She doesn't need a lecture or a
sermon right now, she just needs someone
to lean on.
Best of luck!
Peace,
Jenn
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kim00
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 04-05-07 10:29am
I would like to commend you on wanting to
take responsibility. If only there were
more men like you in the world today. It
is no hidden fact that sex makes babies,
even with taking precautions. I know I’m
going to be criticized up and down for
making this statement. But this man
deserves an applause.
And his partner shouldn't be applauded for
also wanting to take responsibilty?
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kim00
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Apr 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 04-05-07 11:26am
In my opinion, aborting is not taking
responsibility, it’s copping out. If
she’s unable to parent, adopt the baby
out.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3941 Location: Bliss,
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Posted: 04-05-07 12:37pm
kim00
wrote:
In my opinion, aborting is
not taking responsibility, it’s copping
out. If she’s unable to parent, adopt
the baby out.
Your comments are best left on the debate
forum, where they will be properly torn to
pieces for lack of logic.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3941 Location: Bliss,
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Re: Any Literature On Girls Facing Abortion Choices? Posted: 04-05-07 12:44pm
Tyrohvirgel
wrote:
Currently my girl friend is
highly considering abortion. I love her
so much and I know and always knew (even
before the pregnancy) that she is my soul
mate. I'm afraid though that if she makes
this decision to kill the baby our
relationship will be hurt. I want nothing
more than for her to have the baby. Does
anyone know any good reading on this
subject that I can check out at the
library? Fiction or non-fiction I'm
looking for all the help I can
get.
This claims to be an unbiased source for
information.
As far as print media, I have no idea. Do
an amazon.com search, see if anything pops
up, and then go to your local library to
try to find it.
Good luck, and remember, the only people
who can hurt your relationship is you and
her. If she makes a decision you don't
agree with, you have to either reconcile
that or leave.
Women have the majority of child raising
responsibility. Therefore, while your
input is valuable, she gets the final say.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 04-05-07 17:17pm
kim00
wrote:
I would like to commend you
on wanting to take responsibility. If only
there were more men like you in the world
today. It is no hidden fact that sex makes
babies, even with taking precautions. I
know I’m going to be criticized up and
down for making this statement. But this
man deserves an
applause.
I would like to commend your
girlfriend for coming to a difficult
decision and looking realistically at her life
and resources to make the most responsible
decision possible. If only there were
more .women who looked realistically at
their lives when faced with an unintended
pregnancy and didn't approach pregnancy
and child raising with so much reckless
abandon and romantic nonsense, there would
be happier .women and better cared for and
loved children in the world today. It is
no hidden fact that sex can lead to
pregnancy, even with taking precautions,
and therefore an abortion is a last resort
when those precautions fail you. I know
I'm going to be criticized up and down for
making this statement. But this .woman
deserves a standing ovation!
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Tylanas
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Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 04-05-07 22:12pm
kim00
wrote:
I would like to commend you
on wanting to take responsibility. If only
there were more men like you in the world
today. It is no hidden fact that sex makes
babies, even with taking precautions. I
know I’m going to be criticized up and
down for making this statement. But this
man deserves an
applause.
This post doesn't belong on this forum.
This is the abortion support forum, not
the anti-abortion forum.
In my opinion, aborting is
not taking responsibility, it’s copping
out. If she’s unable to parent, adopt
the baby out.
Well, according to your logic, if abortion
isn't taking responsibility, then neither
is adoption, since both result in the
pregnant individual failing to be a
parent.
Abortion and adoption are both, in fact,
responsible actions, because they take
care of a situation in which the woman
does not wish to be found (pregnancy,
motherhood).
Tyrohvirgel, my advice to you is to
consider why your partner wants to
have an abortion. Surely her reasons are
well-grounded and for what she considers
to be for the best. Gently discuss your
feelings with her and what you would
prefer as the father of this potential
baby, although try to be clear that you
will support her whatever her final choice
happens to be. If you are personally
against abortion but simultaneously
acknowledge that parenthood isn't
desirable right now, then you could see
how your girlfriend feels about adoption,
although don't be too forceful in the way
you come across. It may even be worthwhile
writing a list of the pros and cons of
keeping and aborting the baby. Abortion
may be the most humane thing to do if you
are not in a sound psychological and/or
financial state to raise a child.
I understand it must be very hard for a
male who wants to keep the baby when his
partner doesn't, but please respect the
fact that it is your partner's body and
your
partner's choice, when it comes to
the crunch.
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Tyrohvirgel
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 04-09-07 15:43pm
i just found out she lost the baby
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Tylanas
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Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 04-09-07 15:58pm
Tyrohvirgel
wrote:
i just found out she lost
the baby
Well, this does happen fairly often in
pregnancies under 20 weeks. That's why
many mothers are told not to announce the
pregnancy until after that date.
You need to encourage her to see her
doctor in about two or three weeks to make
sure the miscarriage was successful.
Also, if she should have unbearable pains,
fills a pad in an hour or less, or starts
running a fever, she needs to see a doctor
as soon as you possibly can. Tell her to
stay healthy!
Peace,
Jenn
