I Have No Idea What Is Wrong With Me. Posted: 04-08-07 19:02pm
It could be nothing, but here goes.
I've never been particularly popular as a
kid, never bullied or anything but never
felt exclusively WANTED as a person.
Within the past year, I've been feeling so
mentally imbalanced. I don't go out
anymore, what little friends I have have
given up on me, because I just cannot find
the motivation to do anything anymore.
That's a big problem; I feel very
apathetic, I have absolutely no
aspirations, I do not know or care what
will happen to me in future.
I have huge social problems. Meeting new
people especially is a huge problem. I can
do nothing but be shy, look at the floor,
bright red. I come away feeling largely
ashamed of myself. I recently failed
English GCSE speaking exams because I
refused to do them - I'm too shy even to
complete 'compulsory' tasks. I feel it
could be something to do with me not being
very comfortable with my appearance.
I'm always ashamed of myself, I never feel
like I'm any good. I feel depressed a hell
of a lot of the time, and on the odd
occasion I get happy I get VERY happy,
ecstatic, because something has gone right
for once - and within seconds, something
can pass through my mind and I'm again
incredibly unhappy with myself. As a
person, I think I'm a nobody.
As I type this all, I feel pretty
pathetic. I'm expecting lots of people to
tell me to shut up, it's all teenage
angst, that everyone goes through this,
it's just a phase.
Make of it what you will, but I want to
know what's wrong with me.
I can think of more to tell, just from the
top of my head... I get angry when I
shouldn't, as mentioned before I get sad
all the time. I feel like getting drunk
and forgetting myself is the answer, and
stuff.
I'm talking to you right now at 1am
because a lot of the time, I'm usually
thinking about something and cannot sleep.
It's really something when you wake up and
think "What's the point?"
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 388 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-09-07 07:29am
Your not pathetic...............slightly
depressed perhaps..............actually
quite common...........next time your out
and about, take a good look around at the
faces of everyone around you.
If your truly want to get out of this( and
no, I don't think meds are always
required) you .Must change your way of
thinking................our thoughts
become our actions and our actions become
us...............no one is saying to
change overnight.......................but
take babysteps...............practice your
public verbal skills.................next
time your at the counter ask the
man/lady........."How ya
doing?"...........say "Hi" to the bus
driver.............remember
babysteps.............you are slowly
coming out and your making a fellow human
being feel just a little bit
better...................try learning a
new skill..............does absolute
wonders here..................laid a
hardwood floor for the first time(with
help)...................amazing lookin at
something and saying, "Hey I did
that!"................babysteps...........
go out with your friends.............and
do and say only positive
things................it's incredible how
people can easily see the negative, but
struggle to find something
good.................babysteps..........fi
nd useful friends, upbeat
personalities..................it rubs
off............depressed people tend to
attract depressed people, and although
it's nice to relate to someone going
through the same thing..............your
both stuck in limbo............most of
all, change your
thoughts...............listen to what you
say and what your thinking.............let
me guess...........generally on the
negative side,
right?...........................it's
true, if you say it often enough you will
believe it.........................now
it's time to think more positively of
yourself and because you have "suffered"
through many things you do have alot to
offer your fellow human
beings...........even if you think it's
all a lie....................a kind of
self brain washing............baby
steps.......... You can do it!
|
beckynorman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 9 Location: Michigan
Posted: 04-11-07 18:39pm
That guy that said that is an ass!!
There is something that you can do Im
sure. My sister has a socail anxiety
problem. She is a single mother of three
and she is 30 years old. She started
having problems that started out just like
yours! She let my parents sell her brand
new car when she was 16 because she was
scared to get a job.
She know can not go anywhere by herself.
Her kids suffer as well as the rest of us
(myself my other sister and my parents)
because we constantly have to do things
for her. Not saying that I dont want to
help but it is annpying.
She cant even drive by herself or get a
job. She hasnt worked in like three years.
She is seeing a therapist and they are
stuck they dont know what to do with her.
She has let it go on for so long that they
cant do anything. you need to first of all
start talking to someone. Dont give up on
your friends. Start calling each one once
a day just to talk and then start making
plans to do little simple things with
them. You have to have motivation for life
because it is way to short! Also if you
have image issues start working on your
body to make it look the way you want. If
you feel good about yourself you will feel
better. My sister gets dressed up and
pretty-fied and she is a whole new person.
Do your hair and makeup and look pretty.
Go get your nails and toes done.
When a girl feels pretty she is
unstoppable.
BUT most of all talk to someone. You have
to get better before this ruins your
life.
