Its Not That I Want to Die...but I Feel Like I Have To. Posted: 04-11-07 23:05pm
Im new..this is my first post. I am
unhappy. Recently 16. Life is messed.
- I have no friends
- Lost them to girl i hate
- They choose her over me everytime
- My mother is a drunk
- Always tells me how worthless i am and
threatens me
- I hate my body
- Have had anorexia and bulimia
- I could be smart
- If i felt like there was any point
when i dont plan on living any time past
the end of this year
Life wasnt always this bad. I was happy.
But its all gone now.
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prabhjot
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 3 Location: india
Re: Its Not That I Want to Die...but I Feel Like I Have To. Posted: 04-12-07 00:30am
boorah16
wrote:
Im new..this is my first
post. I am unhappy. Recently 16. Life is
!@#^ed.
- I have no friends
- Lost them to girl i hate
- They choose her over me everytime
- My mother is a drunk
- Always tells me how worthless i am and
threatens me
- I hate my body
- Have had anorexia and bulimia
- I could be smart
- If i felt like there was any point
when i dont plan on living any time past
the end of this year
Life wasnt always this bad. I was happy.
But its all gone
now.
i am 22. i feel lonely. lost.
underconfident. i am smart. yet i am
depressed. i like to imagine myself
dying...and then i cry my heart out..and
go to sleep when i am tired. my mind is
all chaotic.
nothing is clear to me. hazy..
i was happy once..
long long time back..
i dont smile at all..these days..
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Akkette
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Apr 2007 Posts: 50 Location: Australia
Posted: 04-15-07 07:04am
Remeber life is the most important thing
you have. I have thought the exact same
way you have but you know what conclusion
i came up with "we have these thoughts
because it is easier that facing the
circumstances". You definately need help.
Do you have a school councellor you can
speak with or a teacher that you trust
enough.
Remember that no one can depict what you
are worth but yourself. I know that being
in a school with on friends is also hard
as people can be cruel. Remember 1 good
friend is better than 20 people you know.
If you dont think you can put up with
these ex friends of yours would you
consider changing schools to have a new
start (extreme i know).
My 1# peice of advice is to get help. Talk
to someone, see a Dr. Anything but we all
know you cant go on feeling like this.
Digging the imaginary hole only gets
deeper when we do nothing.
There are also depression based web chat
sites out there who can help you through
this
If you need to talk please feel free to PM
me. It helps to have someone to talk to.
that's exactly what I say about the
depression that I went through. I didn't
want to die, but I thought that I just had
to. I went through a year of severe
depression and anxiety where I didn't know
if my feet would just run myself off a
cliff or something.. every day the
question would pop into my head asking me
if I was going to live or die. It was by
far the most horrifying experience of my
life. I got so sick of feeling like no
body and depressed, I began searching for
the real final cure for depression. I knew
that drugs would make me feel better for
the time being but wouldn't actually cure
the depression and I knew that counseling
would just sorts things out in my head, so
I looked back to the time when the
depression and anxiety first set in. The
discovery was just so amazing, when I
realized this I gained alot of hope that I
would find the cure. What I realized was
that I had gone through a very depressing
experience where I was very emotional
every day, and I remember not being able
to cope with the emotions at the time.
Ever since, I felt those same depressive
emotions, so I knew that I must of
retained negative emotions. I looked it up
an advertisement for a treatment that
released negative emotions, and I went for
the conseltation. When I got there, the
doctor that did this treatment explained
to me that depression, anxiety, anger, etc
is caused by simply retaining negative
emotoins... and at first I didn't believe
it could be that easy.. but after the
treatments were over... all of the
depression and anxiety has been gone ever
since. The depression, anxiety, confusion
etc was permanently released. I am now
happier than I ever have been. People are
so surprised to see me out again, I
actually socialize again and have the
confidence to stand up for my self... and
talk to strangers. I love life once
again.. and don't worry about depression
defeating me anymore... because I have
found my fix for this problem. Please
pm... and we can talk about what
experiences you might have gone through...
even your mom putting you down all the
time could cause you to retain emotions..
take care... love you all..
Warren
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Ninjight
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 May 2007 Posts: 10
Re: Its Not That I Want to Die...but I Feel Like I Have To. Posted: 05-08-07 07:40am
I a am here to help, here to please. I
tell you this with ease, follow my way and
you will rejoice in this day. Because i am
the one, fire i hold the power of the sun.
I see what you dont see, i sense what you
dont sense, powerful am i. This is truth
for i do not lie.
quote="boorah16"]Im new..this is my first
post. I am unhappy. Recently 16. Life is
!@#^ed.
- I have no friends
- Lost them to girl i hate
- They choose her over me everytime
- My mother is a drunk
- Always tells me how worthless i am and
threatens me
- I hate my body
- Have had anorexia and bulimia
- I could be smart
- If i felt like there was any point
when i dont plan on living any time past
the end of this year
Life wasnt always this bad. I was happy.
But its all gone now.[/quote]
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ltlmomma4kids
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 May 2007 Posts: 11 Location: ga
Posted: 05-26-07 13:07pm
Why are we here any way,just to die
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DT
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Texas
Suicide Posted: 08-16-07 18:28pm
I have a huge problem with ANY suicide
prevention web-site that makes you
register as an "official member" before
you can type a single word.
I could have done the job in half the time
it took me to become an "official
member"WHAT??????????????????????
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greekjohn
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Dec 2006 Posts: 99 Location: Toronto, Ontario,
Basically nothing works out for me, and I
am always getting screwed over with
whatever I do. I feel like a misfit, that
I don't fit in, that I don't belong. I
can't talk to anyone, I can't get help
from anyone. Everytime I try to get help
or talk to someone for whatever reason
basically it all gets thrown back into my
face and in the end its that I am the
problem and nothing else.
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hotlipz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Aug 2008 Posts: 15
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
fall into depression Posted: 09-01-08 22:32pm
hi guyz, i guess people here are really
upset about something that's why they are
undergoing depression. Wish you were just
dead wont do you good. I tell you! based
from my experience... do not wish for
something because you just might get it.
Way back my high school days i wished to
die because i hate myself and everything
around me! i cry every night without a
reason... no... i wasnt crazy at that time
but i just feel that way so i do it. Then
one night it happened... i almost died in
my sleep... it was so terrible... i don't
know what really happened that night but
even my parents couldnt wake me up though
i can hear them. Luckily i survived but
afterwards i have an illness that forever
will be with me until i die. I had
problems with my brainwaves that it caused
a mild epilepsy. I only get seizures
during sleep not in my waking hours. It's
scarier because sometimes i don't know
when it'll happen. My neurologist told me
that it was an effect of too much
depression. In our family i am the 1st one
to have this kind of illness or shall i
say disorder... just becuase of my
stupidity during my youth. Like what i
said... do ot wish for something to happen
to you because if that will happen... at
that moment.... you'll grief and repent.
You would wish you have never thought
about dying!
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alex67
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2008 Posts: 11
I know how you feel Posted: 09-04-08 11:56am
I Know how you feel im 40 live a rubish
life up till now accept i'm lonely as if
somthings missing, i have 4 great kids and
i love them to bits but i still feel
lonely
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updownman
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 May 2008 Posts: 9
online
Re: Its Not That I Want to Die...but I Feel Like I Have To. Posted: 09-05-08 11:43am
boorah16
wrote:
Im new..this is my first
post. I am unhappy. Recently 16. Life is
messed.
- I have no friends
- Lost them to girl i hate
- They choose her over me everytime
- My mother is a drunk
- Always tells me how worthless i am and
threatens me
- I hate my body
- Have had anorexia and bulimia
- I could be smart
- If i felt like there was any point
when i dont plan on living any time past
the end of this year
Life wasnt always this bad. I was happy.
But its all gone
now.
Get on medication like effexor. See a
doctor and better yet a psychiatrist NOW.
Can you do this? Get you own place to live
away from you mom.
