I've been pregnant twice
while using birth control exactly as
prescribed, some women do get unwanted
pregnancies multiple times and it has
nothing to do with not using
contraception
My best friend got pregnant with both of
her children while on birth control. I
just think that if it happens multiple
times...not that there is anything wrong
with that...that you might look to other
forms of
contraception.
Habe tried many things, now have a mirena
which seems to be working!
|
Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6230 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 04-24-07 15:40pm
the mirena is fantastic isn't it? i love
mine
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-24-07 15:51pm
Birch
wrote:
Thank you for the link. I was
hoping for more of a "study" kind of
thing. I don't like it when I hear "it
may" or "risks" without hearing more
substantial information. However, the
bone density issue makes sense. I also
wonder if evolutionary-wise the female
body is not "supposed" to be attractive to
a male until she has achieved a certain
level of development; including full hips
and breasts that indicate a readiness for
reproduction.
While it does seem clear that there are
psychosocial issues that arise when teens
have babies, are there other clear
biological risks? I guess what I'm asking
is that are we encultured to
believe that teens are not psychosocially
prepared to bear children, yet physical
bodies are?
For example, taking from the above, "*
During the first 3 months of pregnancy;
seven out of ten teenage girls do not get
prenatal care, see a doctor, or go to a
clinic." While this adds to the risk of
teenage pregnancy, if the teen had
received prenatal care the risks that
follow not having prenatal care would be
diminished drastically. That is a social
issue, not a biological one. Does that
make sense?
Of course there are exceptions to the
rule, like yourself and your smaller
frame.
More than 1 million infants-and an estimated
70,000 adolescent mothers-die each
year in the developing world because young girls are
marrying and having children before they
are physically ready for
parenthood, according to the report
released today.
"Childbirth can mean a certain death for
young girls and their babies,"
Children born to children are more likely
to be delivered prematurely and at low
birth weight and are more likely to die in
the first month of life.
Young mothers also face enormous health
risks: Obstructed labour is common and
results in newborn deaths and death or
disabilities for the mother.
Research shows that young mothers and
their babies also are at greater risk of
contracting HIV/AIDS.
I realise the above article is about 3rd
would countries and the additional risks
that those young mothers face due to their
poor income, but things like obstructed
labor, low birth weight and the fact that
these girls are not physically ready to
have children are solid facts that apply
to all teens in every country.
However, the following article is blunt.
"Adolescent mothers are twice as likely to
die in childbirth as mothers aged 20-24."
Having a 12 year old daughter I cannot
imagine her body swollen with pregnancy.
She is slender, no feminine curves at all,
her hips are still child straight.
I remember not so long ago, about 6 months
back, there was a big fuss about the some
doctors being excommunicated due to
performing an abortion on a 11 year old
victim of child rape and molestation
That case got me looking into the safety
hazards and I will have to re-research the
articles I found then but I recall one
where it said she had a 60% chance of
death due to the pregnancy.
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2769 Location: ,
Thanks: 19
Thanked:18
Posted: 04-29-07 19:31pm
Jincks013
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
She wasn't forced to have
sex - maybe - but our hypothetical teen
was forced to give birth,
and that's just as wrong as
rape.
Exactly. Thank you Eiri. IMO it is equally
a crime to force parenthood on a teenager,
particularly in view of the known medical
facts that pregnancy is more dangerous for
a teenager then an adult.
Why force that on the girl? Why force her
to be a parent while she is still a child?
Using the 'consent to sex, consent to
pregnancy' model does not fly here.
If that were workable we'd be right back
to the tired old 'close her legs'
arguement and last I heard teens were
majorly curious creatures who did not take
the time, especially when hormones are
raging and they have sexual longings they
aren't equipped to fully understand, at
taking a step back.
They do it. They have sex. Sometimes a
pregnancy results and when it does she has
options then. One of those is abortion,
she can keep the resultant pregnancy or
relinquish.
My goal is to ensure she always has
choices.
The old 'close her legs' argument worked
for me, worked for my mother, worked for
all the sister of my mother and has worked
for all my cousins. And that is how I will
raise my future children. I will make sure
to teach them to wait until they are
ready, that is until they are adults. And
i am fully confident that it will work as
it worked for me. Heck my children are not
going to be whoring around.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-29-07 19:45pm
nightangel73
wrote:
The old 'close her legs' argument worked
for me, worked for my mother, worked for
all the sister of my mother and has worked
for all my cousins. And that is how I will
raise my future children. I will make sure
to teach them to wait until they are
ready, that is until they are adults. And
i am fully confident that it will work as
it worked for me. Heck my children are not
going to be whoring
around.
You're also not born in america. The
culture here is different.
DO I believe that sex should be taught as
an "adults who are in love" only activity?
Yes. I firmly believe this.
However, that's not how the world is.
Because there are parents who are not as
good as mine were, there are girls having
sex. I think it is far, far more important
that contraceptives are available to
prevent them from getting pregnant than to
promote the ideal of abstinance.
Did I wait for love and adulthood to have
sex? You bet I did. I didn't "whore
around" as you put it. I am now engaged to
the one man I have ever had sex with.
However, safe sex is far more important
than being sexually repressed, sneaking
around, and having unprotected sex because
you're afraid someone will see you buying
condoms. Can't you see how harmful the
anti-sex stigma is?!
|
sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007 Posts: 2712
Thanks: 8
Thanked:1
Posted: 04-30-07 09:43am
nightangel73
wrote:
Jincks013
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
She wasn't forced to have
sex - maybe - but our hypothetical teen
was forced to give birth,
and that's just as wrong as
rape.
Exactly. Thank you Eiri. IMO it is equally
a crime to force parenthood on a teenager,
particularly in view of the known medical
facts that pregnancy is more dangerous for
a teenager then an adult.
Why force that on the girl? Why force her
to be a parent while she is still a child?
Using the 'consent to sex, consent to
pregnancy' model does not fly here.
If that were workable we'd be right back
to the tired old 'close her legs'
arguement and last I heard teens were
majorly curious creatures who did not take
the time, especially when hormones are
raging and they have sexual longings they
aren't equipped to fully understand, at
taking a step back.
They do it. They have sex. Sometimes a
pregnancy results and when it does she has
options then. One of those is abortion,
she can keep the resultant pregnancy or
relinquish.
My goal is to ensure she always has
choices.
The old 'close her legs' argument worked
for me, worked for my mother, worked for
all the sister of my mother and has worked
for all my cousins. And that is how I will
raise my future children. I will make sure
to teach them to wait until they are
ready, that is until they are adults. And
i am fully confident that it will work as
it worked for me. Heck my children are not
going to be whoring
around.
Congratulations. I am so glad of the good
girl you turned out to be. I am sure your
children will never ever ever do anything
that you tell them not to. Forbidding
them to have sex is a much better idea
than telling them how to keep themselves
safe. There have been recent studies that
show that the "abstinence only" teaching
does not change the rate of teen
pregnancy. Waiting until you are an adult
to have sex does not mean that you will
not have an unwanted pregnancy.
The old 'close her legs' argument worked
for me, worked for my mother, worked for
all the sister of my mother and has worked
for all my cousins. And that is how I will
raise my future children. I will make sure
to teach them to wait until they are
ready, that is until they are adults. And
i am fully confident that it will work as
it worked for me. Heck my children are not
going to be whoring
around.
You're also not born in america. The
culture here is different.
DO I believe that sex should be taught as
an "adults who are in love" only activity?
Yes. I firmly believe this.
However, that's not how the world is.
Because there are parents who are not as
good as mine were, there are girls having
sex. I think it is far, far more important
that contraceptives are available to
prevent them from getting pregnant than to
promote the ideal of abstinance.
Did I wait for love and adulthood to have
sex? You bet I did. I didn't "whore
around" as you put it. I am now engaged to
the one man I have ever had sex with.
However, safe sex is far more important
than being sexually repressed, sneaking
around, and having unprotected sex because
you're afraid someone will see you buying
condoms. Can't you see how harmful the
anti-sex stigma
is?!
Fair enough if sexual abstinence worked
for you, that's good, but I definitely do
not think that sex should be taught as an
activity done by adults who are in love.
Here in the UK, our teenage pregnancy and
abortion rates are absolutely soaring to
the clouds (plus there are many, many more
teens who are having sex fortunately
without becoming pregnant) and there is a
problem somewhere and I don't think it is
all about what parents and schools teach.
France's age of consent is 14 and their
teens don't have the same problem as us.
Perhaps there's something distorted about
British society.
Sex, in epochs gone by, was used for
procreation (this idea was mainly taken
from religion) and those in marriage.
Today, people have realised that sex is
one of the two (in my view) most natural
things ever on Earth (the other being the
naked body). It is something which I
believe everybody of age has the right to
thoroughly enjoy. Sex is very pleasurable
and enjoyable. I'm not afraid to say so.
It enrages me when pro-lifers' solution to
abortion is "to keep our legs closed" -
well, first of all, why? Just because I
would terminate if I found myself
pregnant, why should I keep my legs
closed? Sex is not just for procreating.
I like sex - a lot - so I don't need to
answer to anybody. These people disagree
with abortion, but under no circumstances
do they have the right to dictate my sex
life. Sex means different things: it can
be simply a source for pleasure (hence
promiscuity, which I don't think is wrong
at all if the said person is not in a
relationship (or in an open one), and
prostitution); it can be for procreating
purposes, usually by a couple who are in a
peromanant relationship; it can be a
meaningful passionate connection, again
usually by a couple together. It is not
just something that is/should be (taught)
an activity by two adults in love. That's
a primitive, old-fashioned view.
Kypros.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 04-30-07 10:39am
I gotta agree with Kypros.
Another thing...I've seen alot of my
friends marry the one man they ever had
sex with...and then start to wonder what
it would be like with someone else.
I've seen relationships crumble and people
cheat because they have to get that itch
out of their system.
I for one, am quite glad that I slept with
a variety of men in my 'whoring around'
days. I know for a fact
what it's like with other men, and I also
know that, for me, sex is best in my long
term monogamous relationship. I tell that
to my curious friends who think about
stepping out, but that's something that
has to be learned.
I personally think waiting until marriage
is foolish, as well as the ideology that
sex is only for adults in love.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-30-07 12:52pm
Kypros
wrote:
Fair enough if sexual abstinence worked
for you, that's good, but I definitely do
not think that sex should be taught as an
activity done by adults who are in love.
WHy the hell not? Sex is something
special, it's a link between two people. I
probably would have had sex at a far
younger age if I didn't revere it as a
special bond between two people who are in
love. I think it is a lack of respect for
sex that is making teens abuse it. And
that respect has to be taught by parents.
Quote:
Here in the UK,
our teenage pregnancy and abortion rates
are absolutely soaring to the clouds (plus
there are many, many more teens who are
having sex fortunately without becoming
pregnant) and there is a problem somewhere
and I don't think it is all about what
parents and schools teach. France's age of
consent is 14 and their teens don't have
the same problem as us. Perhaps there's
something distorted about British
society.
It's possible; america isn't doing to
swift either in the teen pregnancy
department. Are french teens more educated
about protection, or do french teens just
not have sex even though it's legal?
There's a lot of information that needs to
be looked into.
Quote:
Sex, in epochs
gone by, was used for procreation (this
idea was mainly taken from religion) and
those in marriage. Today, people have
realised that sex is one of the two (in my
view) most natural things ever on Earth
(the other being the naked body). It is
something which I believe everybody of age
has the right to thoroughly enjoy.
I must stop you here and ask you what you
view "of age" to be? In my opinion, it's
17 or 18, even posibly 16. France seems to
consider it to be 14. What do you think?
The "of age" concept is highly cultural,
and something lacking in much of today's
society is a ritual to bring a "child"
into "adulthood". These rituals were
common in ancient societies. Kids knew
when they were men and women because they
went through the celebration. For boys, it
was often done when they reached a certain
age or when they hit puberty (wet dreams
anyone?). For girls, it was almost always
when they first menstruated.
I don't know if I consider a buy who's
just hit puberty and a girl who has just
menstruated to be adults, but I do think
that this time period during puberty needs
to be looked at and considered a special
and different time in the human life.
Right now we call them teens, and pretty
much look down on them as crazy,
emotional, unpredictable and ruled by
horomones, incapable of making smart
choices, yet we lay more and more
responsibilities on them, without giving
them any benefit of the doubt.
Crap, I went off on a tangent again...
Quote:
Sex is very
pleasurable and enjoyable. I'm not afraid
to say so.
Hell yeah
Quote:
It enrages me
when pro-lifers' solution to abortion is
"to keep our legs closed" - well, first of
all, why? Just because I would terminate
if I found myself pregnant, why should I
keep my legs closed? Sex is not
just for procreating. I like sex - a lot -
so I don't need to answer to anybody.
These people disagree with abortion, but
under no circumstances do they have the
right to dictate my sex life. Sex means
different things: it can be simply a
source for pleasure (hence promiscuity,
which I don't think is wrong at all if the
said person is not in a relationship (or
in an open one), and prostitution);
I actually don't have a problem with
promiscuity either. You can't be involved
in thr GLBT communitty and not know and at
least partially approve of promiscuity
lol. I'm not saying that all homosexuals
have tons of sex; it's just brought up a
lot more.
On prostitution: are you saying you are
for or against it? If we could keep the
men and women safe... I guess it's just
like being promiscuous except you get paid
for it. Meh.
Quote:
it can be for
procreating purposes, usually by a couple
who are in a peromanant relationship; it
can be a meaningful passionate connection,
again usually by a couple together. It is
not just something that is/should be
(taught) an activity by two adults in
love. That's a primitive, old-fashioned
view.
Kypros.
I think teaching a respect for sex is
important; and teaching a teen that sex is
meant for people who love each other is
one way to maintain that respect and maybe
cut down on unprotected sex.
When I think about it, I really don't have
a problem with two 15 year olds having
sex, if I could absolutely garuntee that
the girl wasn't going to get pregnant. I
can't however, and that's the part that
disgusts me.
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Completely Off Topic Posted: 04-30-07 13:11pm
Sorry to go completely off topic, but
.Eiri did you say that your bf is bi or
something? I saw that you said you were
involved in the glbt mvt. and just
wondered.
Thanks!
|
familyjewels
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 40 Location: New York
Posted: 04-30-07 13:48pm
Eiri
wrote:
why the hell not? Sex is something
special, it's a link between two people. I
probably would have had sex at a far
younger age if I didn't revere it as a
special bond between two people who are in
love. I think it is a lack of respect for
sex that is making teens abuse it. And
that respect has to be taught by parents.
It may just be me, or maybe the area, but
i dont think most teens would share that
view. Me and my friends have talked about
it. Most of my friends plan on waiting
till a little later (like HS) to start
having sex. Most teens see sex as
something fun to do with someone. It
feels good so why not? Yea this is
obiously against the whole "respect for
sex" idea, but i think most teens would
see that idea as out dated.
IMO Absentace only sex ed is useless.
Ignoring it doesnt make it go away. Teach
kids about sex ( the up and the downs of
it), about STD(or sti or what ever they
are called now), about pregnancy ( and
talk to them about what can be done in
these situatuons.) Teach about
contraception. And start Early, like
10yo/4th grade. Hell Hand out a pack of
condoms to each kid ( guys and girls) as
soon as they walk in the door in health
classes ( like MS health classes, people
might not like you handing condoms to a
4th grader).
Teens are gona have sex. Yes some may
decide to wait, my brother knew kids from
his HS that are in their mid 20s and still
virgins. All the power to them. Just
dont assume because a couple of kids
decide to wait that we all will make that
decision.
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Re: Completely Off Topic Posted: 04-30-07 14:17pm
Birch
wrote:
Sorry to go completely off
topic, but .Eiri did you say that your bf
is bi or something? I saw that you said
you were involved in the glbt mvt. and
just wondered.
Thanks!
Yes, he is bi. He hasn't done anything
beyond kissing, and I guess now he won't
ever, since we're enaged lol. Heck, I've
kissed a girl before. It was actually my
first kiss ever XD
|
Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-30-07 14:18pm
familyjewels
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
why the hell not? Sex is something
special, it's a link between two people. I
probably would have had sex at a far
younger age if I didn't revere it as a
special bond between two people who are in
love. I think it is a lack of respect for
sex that is making teens abuse it. And
that respect has to be taught by parents.
It may just be me, or maybe the area, but
i dont think most teens would share that
view. Me and my friends have talked about
it. Most of my friends plan on waiting
till a little later (like HS) to start
having sex. Most teens see sex as
something fun to do with someone. It
feels good so why not? Yea this is
obiously against the whole "respect for
sex" idea, but i think most teens would
see that idea as out dated.
IMO Absentace only sex ed is useless.
Ignoring it doesnt make it go away. Teach
kids about sex ( the up and the downs of
it), about STD(or sti or what ever they
are called now), about pregnancy ( and
talk to them about what can be done in
these situatuons.) Teach about
contraception. And start Early, like
10yo/4th grade. Hell Hand out a pack of
condoms to each kid ( guys and girls) as
soon as they walk in the door in health
classes ( like MS health classes, people
might not like you handing condoms to a
4th grader).
Teens are gona have sex. Yes some may
decide to wait, my brother knew kids from
his HS that are in their mid 20s and still
virgins. All the power to them. Just
dont assume because a couple of kids
decide to wait that we all will make that
decision.
I'm not promoting abstinace only, and I
hope you understand that...
Fair enough if sexual abstinence worked
for you, that's good, but I definitely do
not think that sex should be taught as an
activity done by adults who are in love.
WHy the hell not? Sex is something
special, it's a link between two people. I
probably would have had sex at a far
younger age if I didn't revere it as a
special bond between two people who are in
love. I think it is a lack of respect for
sex that is making teens abuse it. And
that respect has to be taught by
parents.
That's your view. Sex doesn't have to be
special and it isn't always (obviously in
cases of rape and the like, but I am only
referring to consented sex): if a man were
to go out to a bar and specifically look
for a woman to have a one-night stand
with, then the whole act is plagued by fun
and pleasure, nothing deep and special.
Quote:
Here in the UK,
our teenage pregnancy and abortion rates
are absolutely soaring to the clouds (plus
there are many, many more teens who are
having sex fortunately without becoming
pregnant) and there is a problem somewhere
and I don't think it is all about what
parents and schools teach. France's age of
consent is 14 and their teens don't have
the same problem as us. Perhaps there's
something distorted about British
society.
Eiri
wrote:
It's possible; america isn't
doing to swift either in the teen
pregnancy department. Are french teens
more educated about protection, or do
french teens just not have sex even though
it's legal? There's a lot of information
that needs to be looked
into.
Yes, I agree.
Quote:
Sex, in epochs
gone by, was used for procreation (this
idea was mainly taken from religion) and
those in marriage. Today, people have
realised that sex is one of the two (in my
view) most natural things ever on Earth
(the other being the naked body). It is
something which I believe everybody of age
has the right to thoroughly enjoy.
Eiri
wrote:
I must stop you here and ask
you what you view "of age" to be? In my
opinion, it's 17 or 18, even posibly 16.
France seems to consider it to be 14. What
do you think? The "of age" concept is
highly cultural, and something lacking in
much of today's society is a ritual to
bring a "child" into "adulthood". These
rituals were common in ancient societies.
Kids knew when they were men and women
because they went through the celebration.
For boys, it was often done when they
reached a certain age or when they hit
puberty (wet dreams anyone?). For girls,
it was almost always when they first
menstruated.
Very good point. Perhaps it could be
argued that hte body is ready for sex when
puberty/menstruation/ability to ejaculate
hits. I don't know, really. It's
definitely a cultural concept and I feel
that UK's age of consent being 16 is spot
on. I find France's 14 too young, although
if I lived in France and my child began
having sex at that age I would feel
compelled to just go along with it - law
is law, despite my encouragement to wait a
year or two.
Eiri
wrote:
I don't know if I consider a
buy who's just hit puberty and a girl who
has just menstruated to be adults, but I
do think that this time period during
puberty needs to be looked at and
considered a special and different time in
the human life. Right now we call them
teens, and pretty much look down on them
as crazy, emotional, unpredictable and
ruled by horomones, incapable of making
smart choices, yet we lay more and more
responsibilities on them, without giving
them any benefit of the doubt.
Crap, I went off on a tangent again...
Quote:
Sex is very
pleasurable and enjoyable. I'm not afraid
to say so.
Eiri
wrote:
Hell yeah
Quote:
It enrages me
when pro-lifers' solution to abortion is
"to keep our legs closed" - well, first of
all, why? Just because I would terminate
if I found myself pregnant, why should I
keep my legs closed? Sex is not
just for procreating. I like sex - a lot -
so I don't need to answer to anybody.
These people disagree with abortion, but
under no circumstances do they have the
right to dictate my sex life. Sex means
different things: it can be simply a
source for pleasure (hence promiscuity,
which I don't think is wrong at all if the
said person is not in a relationship (or
in an open one), and prostitution);
Eiri
wrote:
I actually don't have a
problem with promiscuity either. You can't
be involved in thr GLBT communitty and not
know and at least partially approve of
promiscuity lol. I'm not saying that all
homosexuals have tons of sex; it's just
brought up a lot
more.
Promiscuity, in my opinion, can actually
be regarded in a good way, in the sense
that it is brilliant to explore all kinds
of sexual antics with all kinds of people.
Homosexuals (men, in particular) are
renowned for their promiscuity, and good
luck to them, I say. Heck, I certainly
pick up a lot as a bisexual myself raised
by a lesbian mother!
Eiri
wrote:
On prostitution: are you
saying you are for or against it? If we
could keep the men and women safe... I
guess it's just like being promiscuous
except you get paid for it.
Meh.
There have been a lot of programmes
recently vis-a-vis prostitution, and I am
particularly interest in the 'high-class
hookers': some are paid £8000 for a night
in a hotel with some businessmen. To these
women, who work via professional agencies,
good luck! I envy the easy money they
make. This kind of prostitution, in my
eyes, is (or should be) like any other
respectable job and legal source of
income. There are, however, cocaine and
heroin addicts on the streets who are paid
£40 for a quick jump with some fat, old
perv. That is wrong.
Quote:
it can be for
procreating purposes, usually by a couple
who are in a peromanant relationship; it
can be a meaningful passionate connection,
again usually by a couple together. It is
not just something that is/should be
(taught) an activity by two adults in
love. That's a primitive, old-fashioned
view.
Kypros.
Eiri
wrote:
I think teaching a respect
for sex is important; and teaching a teen
that sex is meant for people who love each
other is one way to maintain that respect
and maybe cut down on unprotected
sex.
I completely disagree because that would
be basing a fundamental teaching on a
fallacy; the facts are that sex is not
meant for people who are in
love; it is meant for any person able to
have sex legally in whatever way they want
to use it. Any formal teaching on the
principals of sex are disastrous and
immoral - these are formed by individuals
based on what they see around them and how
they have been brought up to use sex.
Eiri
wrote:
When I think about it, I
really don't have a problem with two 15
year olds having sex, if I could
absolutely garuntee that the girl wasn't
going to get pregnant. I can't however,
and that's the part that disgusts
me.
Why don't you have a problem with this? I
would prefer my child to wait until s/he
is 16 to have sex simply because of the
legal side of it, although I don't doubt
that, at 15, s/he may be responsible
enough to have sex, but I would have a
talk with him/her and discuss my feelings.
If I truly felt that s/he had been
mesmerised by the fun and pleasure of sex
to the extent where it would not be simply
for him/her to just stop doing it, then I
would give my approval and then focus on
birth control, which I would make an
effort to stress the information about
roughly when they hit puberty/teenage
years. The same would apply if they're 14,
if they were exceptionally mature, but I
would definitely be more unhappy and
discourage it. That would be my absolute
limit for tolerance.
Kypros
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12984
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-30-07 17:37pm
I'll post a reply later, right now I'm
distracted XD
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Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 747
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 05-01-07 08:17am
I agree that abstinance-only sex-ed does
not work. I recall reading an article last
year that talked about a high school that
taught the mantra of "Just say no!" and 13
percent of their female student population
was pregnant (roughly one in seven girls).
I understand abstinance being taught at
Catholic or religion-oriented schools, but
if you go to a typical unaffiliated high
school, the teachers need to be teaching
based on reality and teach students about
how pregnancy occurs and how to prevent
it.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2769 Location: ,
Thanks: 19
Thanked:18
Posted: 05-01-07 22:28pm
Birch
wrote:
I gotta agree with Kypros.
Another thing...I've seen alot of my
friends marry the one man they ever had
sex with...and then start to wonder what
it would be like with someone else.
I've seen relationships crumble and people
cheat because they have to get that itch
out of their system.
I for one, am quite glad that I slept with
a variety of men in my 'whoring around'
days. I know for a fact
what it's like with other men, and I also
know that, for me, sex is best in my long
term monogamous relationship. I tell that
to my curious friends who think about
stepping out, but that's something that
has to be learned.
I personally think waiting until marriage
is foolish, as well as the ideology that
sex is only for adults in
love.
you know the friends of mine who have
married the men they only had sex with
have told me they never had any itch to be
with other men. I wouldn't had any itch if
that were my case as well. I happened to
have sex with couple other men and i just
think having the sex just made the breakup
worse emotionally by having to disconnect
from someone one has been so intimadetly
linked. A lot easier to get over with if
there was no sex.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4159 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 159
Thanked:16
Posted: 05-02-07 13:02pm
nightangel73
wrote:
you know the friends of mine who have
married the men they only had sex with
have told me they never had any itch to be
with other men. I wouldn't had any itch if
that were my case as well. I happened to
have sex with couple other men and i just
think having the sex just made the breakup
worse emotionally by having to disconnect
from someone one has been so intimadetly
linked. A lot easier to get over with if
there was no
sex.
Sure, for some people it's fine.
I would not marry a man who has only had
sex with me (as great as it is ) because men are
wired to spread it around. That's not
excusing any man for 'stepping out' but I
think it's unrealistic to marry someone
who hasn't gotten it out of his system.
More hurt this way, methinks.
I would avoid being a soothsayer, thought,
nightangel. You may certainly well get an
itch, but it's the choice you make that's
important.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2769 Location: ,
Thanks: 19
Thanked:18
Posted: 05-02-07 21:54pm
Birch
wrote:
nightangel73
wrote:
you know the friends of mine who have
married the men they only had sex with
have told me they never had any itch to be
with other men. I wouldn't had any itch if
that were my case as well. I happened to
have sex with couple other men and i just
think having the sex just made the breakup
worse emotionally by having to disconnect
from someone one has been so intimadetly
linked. A lot easier to get over with if
there was no
sex.
Sure, for some people it's fine.
I would not marry a man who has only had
sex with me (as great as it is ) because men are
wired to spread it around. That's not
excusing any man for 'stepping out' but I
think it's unrealistic to marry someone
who hasn't gotten it out of his system.
More hurt this way, methinks.
I would avoid being a soothsayer, thought,
nightangel. You may certainly well get an
itch, but it's the choice you make that's
important.
i don't know birch and I understand that
men are wired to spread it around but i
think that just not all men are wired that
way. See my best friend she is indian and
she married this guy she met since
kindergarden. So they were all their life
together. None of them ever had any other
relationship except them. Can you imagine?
They got married quite young and they have
been married for more than 10 years
already and you have to see how much they
love each other. I have to say that I some
point i envy her in the sense that she
never knew what is a breakup, never known
what is having a heart broken due to love.
Wouldn't that be nice?
I was
hoping for more of a "study" kind of
thing. I don't like it when I hear "it
may" or "risks" without hearing more
substantial information. However, the
bone density issue makes sense. I also
wonder if evolutionary-wise the female
body is not "supposed" to be attractive to
a male until she has achieved a certain
level of development; including full hips
and breasts that indicate a readiness for
reproduction.
